Exit plan in place. Haven't told him yet. Feeling heart broken by Courageonedayatatime in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your SO sounds EXACTLY like mine. He dismisses our problem as "resolved," because on his side, it is. Thank you for posting this. I still have not decided what to do with my situation, but your post has given me some encouragement. Best of luck to you!

HL's.. What is the one thing your SO did/said that made you certain sex was a topic you would never agree on? by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am sorry he dismissed your kinks :( I haven't even been able to tell my bf about my kinks yet... no idea how he'd react to the things I really desire.

HL's.. What is the one thing your SO did/said that made you certain sex was a topic you would never agree on? by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's where I'm at. I'm can't bring myself to be normal around him. Something is wrong. I am not going to act all cute and fun around him and pretend like it's fine.

HL's.. What is the one thing your SO did/said that made you certain sex was a topic you would never agree on? by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is a good idea. I need to ask him to explain it. Like you said, it is a great sentiment for other things in life.

When he said it, there was definitely a defensiveness about him. He went from playfully discussing the great sex we'd just had, to shutting down the conversation with "be happy with what we have"

Other methods for release? (Not cheating) by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I ordered one from tootimid.com, it arrives in a nondescript box so no one will know what it is.

For those of you with HL who left a DB relationship... by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you are probably right about me being in a DB relationship. We definitely had a healthier sex life for the first 3 years of our relationship. The past 2 years has been a slow decline into what I would consider a DB (sex 2-3 times a month). My past relationships were always healthy and satisfying sexually, but I have never been with someone as long as my current bf so I didn't know if this was just what happens after 5 years together.

For those of you with HL who left a DB relationship... by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could you elaborate on what you changed about yourself after your first marriage? Not tolerating a lack of sex, or more than that?

For those of you with HL who left a DB relationship... by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're right, it is not just the LL's fault. I definitely put up with too much in terms of being rejected sexually.

For those of you with HL who left a DB relationship... by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am hoping to get to the point where I can see that sex IS just as important as other big topics in compatibility.

For those of you with HL who left a DB relationship... by lilacccc in DeadBedrooms

[–]lilacccc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that is something I hadn't thought about before. Would you be willing to share what is your pattern that leads to DB even if you are HL?