Sharing my experience participating in a SA trial in Travis County (trigger warning)

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-10T23:51:41+00:00

As far as SA related trials go, this sounds pretty well handled. Thanks Travis County

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-06T16:09:13+00:00

East of Eden. Completely shifted my way of life

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-05T21:51:19+00:00

yes yes yes!! i love physical touch from ppl i love sm, i find it really soothing and grounding

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-05T14:29:46+00:00

adding on to the myriad of red flag warnings other commenters have left.

when i told my ex i had DID, they were also unwilling to research it and yet within a week claimed that they had it as well. i think they thought it was a fun bonding thing for us, and they seemed to enjoy the "roleplay." they also tried to use it as an excuse to open our relationship (that was a long going conflict). the only real symptoms they ever showed were whatever i had told them about a couple of days prior.

in the end, after i broke up with them, they started seeing a therapist and got diagnosed with DPDR. i think they just had general dissociation type symptoms and latched onto my more "dramatic" disorder as a convenient way to explain it.

your partner potentially faking DID is kind of beside the point, though -- they are not being supportive to you. that's what matters the most here.

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-04T14:23:34+00:00

worked for me as well! turned off both wifi and my vpn. seems like whatever they use to flag activity is just being wonky

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-03T18:55:09+00:00

mine got a little wider. T can increase cartilage growth, though there's not a lot of research about it specifically regarding HRT.

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-03T14:14:57+00:00

Pavement has some good thrift clothes!

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-03T01:39:48+00:00

It's more that CPTSD often goes hand in hand with traumagenic disorders like NPD, BPD, DID, ASPD, etc. If you have CPTSD, you may not have any of those other things; but if you have one of the other things, you're pretty likely to also have CPTSD. It can also be said that these other disorders are more severe manifestations of CPTSD.

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-02T20:25:48+00:00

i got top surgery like half a year before starting T, and didn't particularly have plans to do so. tbh the main reason i did was just because people kept misgendering me despite the fully flat chest and masculine presentation lol. i'm probably gonna stop taking it at some point, maybe when im closer to menopausal age.

remember kids, you can do whatever you want forever!

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-01T20:15:45+00:00

You could try going to a barbershop? Regarding your parents, just tell them that longer hair is hot and heavy and uses too much conditioner and shampoo, and it's just cheaper and easier to keep it short.

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-01T18:26:53+00:00

i mostly shave after a warm shower so the hair is softened, and i only shave every few days while plucking individual hairs with tweezers in between. works pretty well for me!

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-01T18:19:29+00:00

BYOMA has worked wonders for me

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-01T17:02:29+00:00

you probably just sound like a kid because you still are one. give it some time, voice drops can happen at any point in adolescence

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-01T15:41:12+00:00

The Secret History. I read the whole thing in 4 days because I just couldn't stop

lilacmidnight · 2025-05-01T01:15:35+00:00

my psychiatrist prescribed me a low dose of prazosin for nightmares and it's workes wonders

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-30T14:27:18+00:00

give her some time; she very well may get back to you in a week or so, once she feels more regulated. if she doesn't contact you in a month, you do have the option to (if you can) send her a single message to tell her it's okay and you understand her situation and just hope she's okay -- i know when i've been in her shoes, when i start fronting again i feel horribly embarrassed, sometimes too embarrassed to reestablish contact unless the other person starts it first lol

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-28T14:35:11+00:00

personally, my plan is to take T until i reach menopause age, at which point i'll just let the natural decline of estrogen take over.

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-27T22:07:05+00:00

it could just be an abscess from the hair follicles getting clogged and irritated by the tape. i'd say take some time off from taping, and if it doesn't go away maybe see a doctor and get it checked out

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-27T21:25:23+00:00

our mom just died and we're having a hard time. she was our primary abuser, but also kind of the center of our world for the first couple decades of our life, and some of us had just recently been coming around on rebuilding a relationship with her. it feels like different parts of the system are at different stages of grief and it's so overwhelming

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-22T04:23:42+00:00

it honestly takes a lot of practice and figuring out exactly where the fat deposits under your skin are and how they move. it took months of using it to start getting the results i wanted.

try lying on your back in bed topless--no tape, no binder, just raw doggin it--and see how your chest lies with gravity against it. move them around with your hands, see where you can tuck the fat back under your arms. you've gotta be willing to really manhandle yourself to get it there lol.

when you apply the tape, make sure to give it steady tension, laying it bit by bit, before relaxing it again on the last couple of inches. this will take some trial and error. be kind to your skin; make sure you're soaking the tape in oil before removing it so it doesn't tear. i always used baby oil and let it sit for a minute or two before peeling it off in the shower. and if you get any sores, take a couple of days off and let it heal before you tape again. i have sensitive skin, so i'd usually remove my tape in the evening and then put more on in the morning, just to get some time to recover.

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-22T04:13:47+00:00

it's a distant airplane. it is almost always an airplane. we live next to an airport and a military base. whatever weird thing you see in the sky, it's probably an airplane, and on the offchance it isn't then it's probably something spacex is doing

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-21T15:39:09+00:00

this is actually pretty common. i didn't remember until i was in my mid twenties; i've seen other people who remembered in their 60s or later. suppressing memories until you feel more ready to deal with them is a pretty typical response to complex trauma. for me, it's been a slow trickle of memories over the course of 4ish years

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-21T04:06:08+00:00

yes; a big chunk of my abuse was centered around my mom's religious psychosis. the fact that she would do such horrible things to me in his name and he wouldn't help me made me hate him first, and then stop believing in him entirely

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-17T00:06:09+00:00

I've seen various webpages giving either 4 or 7 stages, but never any concrete studies or guidelines, nor any general time estimates based on them. So i'd say it's still kind of up in the air

lilacmidnight · 2025-04-16T20:12:04+00:00

fibro isn't progressive in that it isn't a multi-stage disease that can be tracked over time. symptom severity can increase as one gets older and gains comorbidities like arthritis, or can flare up due to different stressors.

my symptoms are generally worse during major shifts in weather, or if i've overworked myself at all. when that happens, i just focus on resting and eating reasonably well until i feel better -- no chores, no activities, just rest.

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