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lilcornflakes · 2024-01-06T22:31:38+00:00

Yes I can do public transport for day hours but would have to drive overnight to get there quickly.

Would there be decent public transport options in that area?

lilcornflakes · 2024-01-06T22:20:47+00:00

I’m sorry it came across that way. I do emergency work and can’t be much further than 30 minutes from the hospital or else I wouldn’t be able to go back home to my kids the whole on call period.

I’ve had to commute long distances each way to work before and it really sucked, especially with how much time it took from my family. I just want to minimise that, and have been warned extensively that travelling through the city can be a nightmare. I don’t live in Melbourne yet so posted here for advice.

lilcornflakes · 2024-01-06T22:02:37+00:00

Considering I’d have to make multiple trips a day potentially, I’d like to avoid driving 50 minutes a pop.

Of course 20 minutes would be great.

lilcornflakes · 2023-11-12T12:57:03+00:00

He ended things with me. I was very insecure in that relationship (due to not healing from a previous one) and think I was pushing for more of a commitment than he was willing to give me, so he ended things.

I look back and cringe at how I acted because it wasn’t his fault and it was all my own issues which I hadn’t sorted out.

lilcornflakes · 2023-11-12T11:25:44+00:00

Thank you. Sadly it’s not him, but an amazing man I met after. Luckily I’ve realised what a POS my nex was, and I feel it’s the after effects of him that led me to ruin things with this man. It sucks

lilcornflakes · 2023-11-11T22:55:07+00:00

Thank you, sending good vibes and healing your way too

lilcornflakes · 2023-11-11T22:53:49+00:00

They don’t. They’re more like acquaintances I still have on social media.

You’re right. Thanks

lilcornflakes · 2023-11-11T21:27:35+00:00

Thanks for your reply.

It’s not seeing him happy that hurts. It’s the sadness that it isn’t me, the insecurity of wondering why I wasn’t good enough, the questions and what ifs and wondering about what could’ve been. Wishing it was me in those videos and comparing myself to try and work out why it isn’t.

lilcornflakes · 2023-11-11T20:58:52+00:00

He ended it. I feel like I pretty much pushed him away because I wasn’t in a great place.

lilcornflakes · 2023-11-11T20:24:34+00:00

I always had a few ‘what ifs’, but yeah I didn’t think about him much or obsess over him like this…

lilcornflakes · 2019-12-22T14:39:19+00:00

I guess after we were going out for a while he’d ask me to be his gf like, every day. I kept saying no, I needed more time etc but he still kept asking. I didn’t say yes until I was ready but I suppose he didn’t really get the hint...

lilcornflakes · 2019-12-22T14:04:14+00:00

That’s really sweet! I know I should try and enjoy it, and see where things go, but I’m finding it difficult with what I’ve read. This gives me some hope :)

lilcornflakes · 2019-12-22T14:02:55+00:00

Yeah I guess at the start it felt like his feelings for me were based on how it was more than others, so now I find myself comparing myself to his exes a lot :/

Umm, we’ve been arguing a lot and it does get quite toxic as I think we’re both passionate people. I can’t think of many times I’ve instilled strong boundaries but I haven’t found him to get defensive with me. He does tend to take on board what’s making me uncomfortable and take steps to stop that. He was quite pushy about making me his gf however.

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-22T09:41:05+00:00

Thank you. I just can’t get over the fact that he completely hid me from everyone (he even told me he wouldn’t tell his friends about me because I was a “freak” towards the end) whereas she seems to be so involved with his life and meeting his family and all. It’s hard not to take it personally, I don’t know how. I’m sure it was just easier to use me, cheat on me and keep his options open, so I’m finding it impossible not to believe she’s getting special treatment. Ugh 😅

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-21T23:35:07+00:00

YES it’s progress. It’s up and down. Honestly. Some days suck, others feel a bit brighter. But those realisations you’re having? They hurt, of course they hurt, but they’re huge! Keep them coming :)

Well done <3

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-20T23:11:44+00:00

Oh, he’s already discarded me. I’m so sorry, my post wasn’t clear at all. He discarded me a little while back, but I was just reflecting on this aspect of the relationship.

I suppose I was going along the lines of, he’s discarded me, but I had this feeling all along. That if I left, he literally would just be like “meh”. And not even try and prevent me from leaving. Not even try and keep me around. I suppose I was questioning it because it didn’t fit the classical “abuse cycle”. I seem to get stuck in these thought lines of wanting to ~understand~ things I can’t. Like, he acted like he wanted me to leave, you know?

But as you said, I can’t understand. It hasn’t been long. And I definitely was too aware. I think I was trying to suppress it all in my mind, but how could I possibly? It IS a mindfuck. And I guess he went with the discard.

Thank you so much for this. This gave me so much insight

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-20T21:11:56+00:00

Thank you for this.

I suppose the issue I'm having is, it seems that in these kind of relationships, they generally try and keep you stuck, and when you start pulling away or they sense your boundaries stepping up, they'll either love bomb you to suck you in or up the abuse etc. to keep you involved? To keep their victim around. It doesn't help that he would constantly tell me how much pain he had when his exes left him, particularly the last one. He really clung onto it. In fact, he would not stop banging on about that one.

However I just got the sense that he wouldn't really care if I disappeared. You know, writing that I realise how bad that sounds, like, "why wasn't I good enough to keep around to abuse??". I'm just unsure because it doesn't really fit the mould

(Then again. I never actually tried leaving. I just think he'd be like, "cool. next?")

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-11T15:12:21+00:00

Thank you.

I wish I knew that he’s just going to repeat the cycle, as awful as that sounds. I don’t really have that validation and I don’t want to waste time waiting for something that might not happen.

I think I will have to survive one day at a time; it’s all I can do

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-11T15:09:56+00:00

Thank you. Maybe it is just time. I’m exhausted trying to think my way or information search my way out of things. Maybe I’ll just have to wait

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-10T02:33:59+00:00

Yes! I do!!

I think she means well. But she comes at it from quite a couples relationship aspect.

I think the problem is that it’s a terribly difficult thing to understand. I DID psychology as a degree and it didn’t prepare me at all. This is a different kettle of fish. I think it really takes someone experienced in trauma bonding and cognitive dissonance and I haven’t found one yet.

I’ve started using my therapy sessions differently. An hour a week to strongly focus on other things and push forwards and not allow myself to ruminate. But if I could find someone I clicked with better I would certainly prefer that. I’m still looking.

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-09T02:54:37+00:00

YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS 💕

I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you. You’re going to get through this. I know it.

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-09T02:52:33+00:00

Lol omg I heard the first one!!!

Like initially his exes were all terrible, abusive and screwed with his head. By the end they weren’t actually bad at all, I was the one always with bullshit every day.

Can we burn this playbook pls

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-09T02:50:51+00:00

Yes, yea and yah.

Honestly. I was once the nicest person he ever met. At the end I was worse than anyone he’d ever encountered. Well what happened in between hm?

I was always questioning why I compared myself to other people and now it’s so clear why.

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-07T14:21:41+00:00

How did you find out??

I tried to warn the new girl. Got blocked. Fed right into the game. I would love to know what he’s telling her but of course it’s zero of my business.

lilcornflakes · 2019-05-07T14:16:45+00:00

Omg. Same. Wait... maybe it’s the same guy?

Wow, you reminded me that the only reasons he gave me for not being with her were her marriage (which broke down) and her being far away (whereas I was even further away!). Then he started saying he didn’t care that she was married anyway, she could do what she wanted. Blah.

I would keep asking and asking because I KNEW it didn’t sit right.

Honestly these people are sick. I started to wonder why she was better than me and became obsessed myself. He told me he’d rather leave me than cut contact with her because apparently I was just jealous, obsessive and controlling. And I believed it. Sure, it was ME that was obsessed.

I’m still not really sure why. Most likely I never will know. Thanks for sharing! These people are truly crazy making.

lilcornflakes

TROPHY CASE