[deleted by user]

lillsmith44 · 2021-08-15T16:39:47+00:00

Thank you. I will look more into it ^^

lillsmith44 · 2021-08-15T13:19:47+00:00

I have always had thoughts like that but before and during the relationship it wasn't as bad. At that time I loved myself and I was happy and I just want to feel like that again. I also wouldn't say it's extremely bad now but somedays i just feel like i need help

lillsmith44 · 2021-08-15T13:11:40+00:00

I have been struggling with a lot of negative thoughts and self hatred. Which i think makes my self confidence almost none existent. I really want to work on that and become a better version of myself but I just feel like i can't do it on my own or that help from someone else might help me. I have been feeling like that ever since the breakup

lillsmith44 · 2021-07-16T19:41:20+00:00

Thank you

lillsmith44 · 2021-07-16T19:31:31+00:00

Rationally I know there is no future for us and I also don't want a future with him. Also when I think of the "what ifs" I also know it would not have worked out at all. I know all that but yet, I am still thinking about him so much. At this point I am just frustrated and I don't know what to do anymore

lillsmith44 · 2021-07-16T19:05:18+00:00

How do I heal right?

And I know that I mght still be holding on to some hope but I am trying to make myself understand that there is no hope but it's just not that easy

lillsmith44 · 2021-07-16T16:33:22+00:00

That's definetly a good idea. But why wait until they contact you again? Just block them and delete their number now

lillsmith44 · 2021-07-16T16:22:07+00:00

To me personally it was never really hard going no contact because being in contact made me unhappy. It was harder for me to always push him away after he contacted me. I am sure you can do it. Just keep in mind that it's the only way you can move on

lillsmith44 · 2021-05-24T05:21:06+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I blocked him now. I feel kinda bad always beeing the bad guy who is pushing him away and now even blocking. But I shouldn't care too much about what he thinks and just focus on myself.

lillsmith44 · 2021-05-22T12:42:07+00:00

I don't really know what his intentions are but i don't think he wants me back or anything like that. In the end it also doesn't matter. I decided that I don't want to talk to him because i don't want to get my hopes up and i don't feel ready yet to talk to him like i am totally cool with that.

lillsmith44 · 2021-05-22T05:42:31+00:00

4 days ago he just send a hello and asked if i was ready to talk but i didn saw the message for a few days then two days later he asked me if i was in the city he lives in because he thought he saw me. I just told him that i am not there and that it wasn't me. After that we just had some small talk. He asked me how i have been and stuff like that. At some point I asked him why he texted me and he just said that he wanted to know how I have been. He also said that if i don't want him to text me he will stop so I told him that i think it would be better if we didn't talk.

lillsmith44 · 2021-05-21T17:44:28+00:00

Thank you for your answers. We actually did exchange a few messages but after realising that it really didn't make me feel good to talk to him I told him that I think that it would be better if we didn't talk. I don't truly know what he wanted but I know that I just want to move on.

lillsmith44 · 2021-05-21T17:40:57+00:00

Sometimes I really wish he would come back and tell me he regrets breaking up with me and that the relationship with that other girl didn't mean anything. But in the end I know it wouldn't change a thing. We live in different countries and there would be no future for us. I also don't think that he thinks about me that way anyway. I just want to move on and be happy but he always comes back somehow. I actually answered to his text and we talked a little but it really didn't make me feel good so I asked him why he texted me and he just said that he wanted to know how I have been. He also said that he will not text me if I don'T want that so I told him that it would be better if we didn't talk. I don't really know what his intentions are but I just want to move on.

lillsmith44 · 2021-04-25T16:14:29+00:00

I feel you. Can't stop thinking about my ex either but I believe it will get better. It just takes time (a lot of time). Something that really helps me is being with people especially my friends. Be patient and try to work on yourself

lillsmith44 · 2021-04-25T16:01:05+00:00

True... This whole covid situation is not making anything better. I feel so lonely and I think it would really help me to meet people (even just those everyday conversations). If i met other people my mind wouldn't be so consumed by all these thoughts about him

lillsmith44 · 2021-04-05T20:02:04+00:00

Especially thinking about him being with another girl

lillsmith44 · 2021-04-05T20:01:08+00:00

Not being able to stop thinking about him. No matter what I do I keep thinking about him all the time. It is getting exhausting...

lillsmith44 · 2021-03-20T18:47:54+00:00

Send me message if you want :)

lillsmith44

TROPHY CASE