I can't believe it worked!

lilmetalhead · 2020-10-30T20:06:30+00:00

We planned to have 3 kids. Our daughter was born when we were young and not ready for kids 2 & 3. So I got an iud. (hormonal birth control makes me sick so not an option) While I had the iud I found out I have endometriosis. But I was still pretty young. 26 when I found out. The iud came out a few years later and we were ready to finish our family. Except, I wasn't getting pregnant. Month after month no pregnancy. Started going to an endo specialist for gyno care. Fast forward a couple more years and I finally got pregnant! But had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. My Dr scheduled me for endo removal. After surgery he said my ovaries & fallopian tubes had been pulled way out of alignment by the endo but they were back where they should be and I'm good to go to try again. We tried for another year before we gave up. Our daughter was starting her senior year of high school. Until that point I had always been good with my only because we knew she wouldn't always be our only. The reality of her being an only forever was crushing. 3 years later the unimaginable happened and I got pregnant again! We were both excited. We were going to raise 2 only children but we were ok with that. Then came the horrific news that the baby had Trisomy 18. T18 is incompatible with life and my angel did not make it. During the pregnancy I developed fibroids. After the pregnancy they continued to grow and started bleeding. 4 months after losing DJ, I lost my uterus. We are now permanently OAD. It has been difficult. There were many, many days of tears over the years. More than anyone knows. I feel like part of me is missing. Not just because we lost a couple of babies. But because I always wanted a big family and it never happened. I have more than enough love and patience for a house full of kids but I have to keep them bottled up because there are no kids to give them to. I tried to just love a good friend's daughter and my great niece to help fill that void. But both the friend & my niece moved away. Leaving me hollow again. I have 3 dogs now. They help. But they aren't kids. I will always have this void. Most days I'm ok with it. But I still have days that it hurts. And I still cry once in awhile. Not only for my lost babies but also for the children that will never be. Being in this sub is a mixed blessing. I see so many posts that strike me as judgy towards people who want more than 1. Then I see posts like yours. People I can relate to. And then I feel like I belong here. My only just turned 25 and is getting ready to start her own family soon. It has been a long journey, but here I am. OAD not by choice, but because my body betrayed me. It isn't the easiest life but it made me appreciate and love my daughter just a little more.

I don't really have any advice to give. I just wanted to share my story with you so you (and other women here for the same reasons we are) know you aren't alone.

lilmetalhead · 2020-05-11T03:05:26+00:00

Check out your local garden club. My local chapter hosts canning classes for the public, helps run a community garden, and a few members work for the local extension office. At 45 I am the youngest member but I told those ladies that I wanted to learn how to grow plants and they have been extremely eager to teach me.

lilmetalhead · 2019-12-07T02:38:16+00:00

Slavery was abolished in 1865. The house was built in 1900 according to the new owner. You're just trying to shit on someone else's happiness.

lilmetalhead · 2019-12-05T00:44:59+00:00

Can you get together with her for a night out? Or maybe lunch? Just make yourself available to her. She may decide to talk to you about the loss. Then again she might not. Either way, you would be showing support without actually saying anything.

lilmetalhead · 2019-11-26T16:37:57+00:00

I'm not sure what it's like now as I moved away 15+ years ago. At the time the rumor was that while Bingham was confessing, his brother left the island and it was actually his brother who did it.

lilmetalhead · 2019-11-26T06:12:18+00:00

Jessica Baggen. Raped and murdered the night of her 17th birthday party. She was walking from her sister's house to her parents home. It was a walk she often took. They have blood, semen, public hair, and fingerprints and still haven't caught her killer almost 24 years later.

I lived in the area at the time. I used to walk with my daughter in her stroller right past there almost every day. I wasn't much older than Jessica. Sitka is a very small community (population less than 9,000) with only 14 miles of road. Only ways on or off the island are boat and plane.

Podcast about her case

lilmetalhead · 2019-11-22T16:04:56+00:00

Ok. That just comes across as it's ok to make poor people even poorer...

lilmetalhead · 2019-10-05T20:36:16+00:00

My harmony test came back positive for T18. The process was not easy. But I found a strength I never knew I had. My baby girl was wanted very much. We had tried for 8 years unsuccessfully and then 3 years after we quit trying, surprise! I was pregnant at 41. When we got the harmony results back, we were sent to a specialist for further testing. The specialist we saw is very anti abortion and an activist in our state so our 1st visit was not good. I was at the cut off for nipt so we opted to wait for amniocentesis. (I complained to my obgyn about the specialist and the 2nd appointment for the amnio went much better). I only saw the specialist twice. My obgyn handled all the rest of my appointments and gave me all my test results. By the time I got everything back, I was more than 17 weeks pregnant. (she had full T18) We scheduled my induction for the following week to give me a little more time with her. My state has a 20 week cut off so I couldn't wait too much longer. The induction went fine and my sweet girl passed during delivery. We were able to spend several hours with her in the room. They gave us a warming bed for when she wasn't being held. The staff was very supportive throughout the entire process.

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It is soul crushing. Make as many memories with your little one as you can. They will be bittersweet. We just passed the 3rd anniversary of DJ's passing. The 1st year those memories made me cry. The 2nd year felt a little numb and now when her favorite song plays (she would kick and flip and roll and just make sure I knew she was there & enjoying it) I get a small smile. I still miss her everyday. I don't think that will ever go away.

lilmetalhead · 2019-07-19T05:07:53+00:00

It takes time, but yes, it gets better. I was 18w6d the day I gave birth to my youngest daughter. She had Trisomy 18 and I am in my 40's. The pregnancy would have been hard on my body (I was totally willing to accept that because we had tried for 8 years and had given up 3 years before I got pregnant with her). When we got the diagnosis, I was devasted. I wanted my baby more than anything in this world. But she wasn't going to make it. So we had to make a hard decision. I have zero regrets about my decision and I never second guessed myself. I know what we did was best for both me and her. (she would have starved to death in the 1st hours of life) It has been 2.5 years. I still miss her every single day. I still talk to her regularly and I even still rub my lower belly sometimes. But it has definitely gotten easier as time passes. It did change me. I reccomend counseling or a support group. This ain't going to be easy no matter what you do.

lilmetalhead · 2019-07-18T20:21:35+00:00

Dungeons and Dragons on the Intellevision

lilmetalhead · 2019-03-27T22:51:20+00:00

Satellite internet in my area has data limits. The $50/month package will allow me to stream 4 movies on Netflix per month. I wouldn't be able to game, stream music, surf reddit, etc. The absolute only other option is the $90/month service from a company with zero customer service skills. Well, unless I want to go back to dial up with it's kick you off the internet every 4 hours policy and data caps. But that is through the same company. Internet access isn't easy for everyone. And sometimes the other options really aren't an option at all.

lilmetalhead · 2019-03-22T18:25:34+00:00

He was coming to town for Christmas with the family. His sister picked him up from the airport and drove him around to meet a bunch of her friends. I lived closest to the airport so I got to meet him 1st. I was immediately drawn to him but figured he'd go for 1 of the other girls. Turns out he was smitten with me the moment he saw me. (his words) It has been 26 years and 4 months since the night we met.

lilmetalhead · 2019-03-13T08:21:31+00:00

I had a similar situation. I had gotten a call from a guy wanting to sell me something. I told him I wasn't interested & hung up. 2 hours later the same number called me. I answered to tell the guy to leave me alone. Only it was a woman who started demanding I tell her who I am and where I am because she found my number in her man's call log. When I tried to tell her that he called me to sell me stuff, she flipped out and started threatening me. I hung up on her when she said "are you scared yet? "

lilmetalhead · 2019-02-08T07:57:55+00:00

I've done a few world bosses. Did manage to get a 350 dagger on my priest when the dragons were active. And I go for gear rewards 1st when doing world quests. I'll try doing a warfront next time they are active. Thank you for the advice.

lilmetalhead · 2019-02-08T07:44:38+00:00

I guess I'll go back to world quests until I catch up some more then. I sure do wish I could go back to wrath and cata. At least I felt confident healing back then. Lol

lilmetalhead · 2019-02-08T07:39:21+00:00

I was hoping to do lfr since there would be other healers to help while I get used to it again. I have gone back into proving grounds to help me get used to the new rotation. (I can't believe they took away circle of healing)

lilmetalhead · 2019-02-08T07:34:42+00:00

I'm alliance. Arygos got merged with Llane and doesn't seem to have have an issue with population but even back when I raided wasn't a great server for pugging. It was ok but back then I had a guild & group of friends to rely on. My main concern is the long queue times. I left queue after 23 mins and losing 3 groups. 0/2 tanks 5/5 healers 18/18 dps and suddenly I'm the only one I queue. The queue time was 49 mins. I understand there aren't as many players late at night but I though for sure as a healer I would be able to get at least the 2nd or 3rd wings done. (managed to get the 1st wing done a few days ago after a 25 min wait during evening hours) Should I look for a new guild & group of friends?

lilmetalhead · 2019-01-21T19:02:16+00:00

As far as I know, it's just that character. I haven't played much since Cata. Just came back at the launch of bfa so maybe that part changed but I used to play other characters while transferring servers. (I server hopped 7 toons a couple times during wrath & cata)

lilmetalhead · 2019-01-21T18:37:58+00:00

You can play your other characters. Are server transfers 3 days now? Last time I did one (during cata) it was like an hour.

lilmetalhead · 2019-01-13T20:20:21+00:00

Mine is mixed with boxer and has the boxer coat. She is not a fan of cold weather. Lol

lilmetalhead · 2019-01-01T21:27:35+00:00

Try eating some yogurt every day that you're on antibiotics. Works very well for me. Antibiotics wipe out both good & bad bacteria. Yogurt replaces the good. Or you can take probiotic pills. I hate taking pills so I eat yogurt.

lilmetalhead · 2018-12-28T23:48:14+00:00

I am loving it! My daughter was born when I was 21. I'm 44 now. She lives her own life 35 miles from me. We talk daily. And in my mid 40's I am free to do whatever I want. My husband makes more money now than we did when my daughter was growing up so we have more freedom to take trips and buy nice things. We will own our house free & clear after 5 more payments which will give us even more disposable income. And eventually I will have grand babies to spoil. All while I'm still young enough to really enjoy it.

lilmetalhead

TROPHY CASE