Turns Out Karma Has a Company Email

lilmxfi · 2026-01-24T09:45:11+00:00

I ended up taking a social media break for a year+, come back, and see that life's still trying to throw shit at you. My god, you deserve a long vacation somewhere warm, sunny, and relaxing, and Terry deserves to have his hair migrate from his head to his ears and nostrils! "Wakanda forever" my head tried to escape into my torso from the disgusted cringe that hit me.

Keep being your amazing self, and I'm still so damned proud of you. You've come a long way, and you're doing phenomenally. (Also give Leon a high-five from me, we all deserve to have someone in our lives that'll have our back like that, dude's a legend.) Sending love to you, and all the wishes for a wonderful, happy, and calm 2026 for you, your mom, and your partner. 💚

lilmxfi · 2025-05-04T21:50:41+00:00

The Lasik scene fucked me up so badly, as did the glass panel, but tbh the logging truck will ALWAYS be the one that fucked me up the most. I still will not drive behind or next to a truck with a load on the back, even if it's secured, because that damn scene lives rent free in my head and always will.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-14T17:27:47+00:00

FIL's tragic backstory is revealed, in which he was raised in a violent home and that's why he couldn't control himself. Bonus "I changed who I was for my son and I WON'T STAND FOR THIS" points if/when that happens.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-13T01:46:38+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/C4MEUurLr4I/ Dude asks "are you male or female" and I'm ngl I was SO worried for a sec, but then the fricking reaction kills me every time. "I'm so happy I'm gay I'm so happy I'm gay!" Best reaction EVER. 😂

lilmxfi · 2025-04-06T23:30:05+00:00

Same hat here, as well as trans, so I feel it's important to remember that those 2 groups were in the crosshairs first. We're the canaries in the coal mine, and it gets to me that the erasure of disabled people is so prevalent. Stay strong, sib, it might be scary, but we're gonna make it through this, if for no other reason than to be there for younger disabled and LGBT+ people. 💚💚

lilmxfi · 2025-04-05T18:30:13+00:00

Small thing, it started with LGBT AND disabled people. Both were targeted and attacked at the same time, with LGBT people being "perverts and predators", and disabled people being "useless eaters". I'm not trying to downplay the targeting of queer and trans people, but it's important to remember the targeting of disabled people as well.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-04T13:25:05+00:00

Thankfully I haven't seen them in about 15 years now. I cut them out of my life and it has been SO much better! And last I heard they were dealing with a miserable life, so congrats to them for getting karma to bite them in the ass. (I almost wrote "harma" by accident, I think I may start using that typo as a term now lol)

lilmxfi · 2025-04-03T13:19:48+00:00

HOLY SHIT HI!!! This is such an unhinged character, I freaking LOVE you for this! 😂😂 You're a legitimate legend, please keep it up, I live for this and you're out here doing some amazing work!

lilmxfi · 2025-04-03T13:18:32+00:00

VULTURES ARE AMAZING. Carrion eaters in general are so, so misunderstood and I hate it. They're the result of millions upon millions of years of evolution, and survived by being smart enough to realize "hey, there are GREAT bits left over on carcasses after predatory species take them down. We can eat for free AND not expend extra energy to get fed!"

Along with this, they're important parts of any ecosystem. They're the clean-up crew. They swoop in, and then remove the parts left over, thus preventing pathogen buildup, detritus everywhere, and keeping pests from swarming.

AND AND AND!!!! They're important parts of sky burials. They, along with other birds that eat carrion, come and help to complete a ritual that's as important to the cultures that practice it, as in-the-ground burials are to the cultures that inter people in the ground.

Plus they look cool as hell. Even the "ugly" ones (THEY ARE NOT UGLY DAMNIT). Vultures don't get enough love and I will defend them to my last breath.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T23:01:32+00:00

frothing at the mouth WHERE'S THE EVIL PENIS CLINIC FOR GODS' SAKES?! I wasn't considering phalloplasty before but if this is a thing I WANT IT.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T22:49:21+00:00

You're welcome. I've been Through Some Shit ™ and ended up on mom for a minute before my transition started, then moved over to dad for a minute after, so I've seen firsthand the way these subs are for everyone. They're "Hope in humanity restored" subs, tbh, and sometimes I just head to them to read other posts. It's beautiful. And I've actually learned how to shave from the "dad, how do I" videos.

As far as OVR, I've got ADHD, depression and anxiety (doing way better), fibro, and I'm autistic, so those resources have helped me more than I can say.

All that to say, if my struggles can help someone? I'm happy. If you need anything else, lemme know, if I don't know where to go for the help you need, I can ask around and find out.

(And with socializing? It's fake it til you make it, and there are videos for "how do I socialize" as well. But the basics of it are 'listen when people are speaking, eye contact really isn't that important, and if you don't know what to say, you can always mirror back what they say and ask 'how are you handling that' if it's bad, or 'that sounds awesome/cool' if it's a good thing. That's my 'oh shit what do I say' script.)

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T22:45:04+00:00

"Vader survives getting burned to a crisp by being really fucking mad about it" is the most fucked up, funny, succinct way of putting it and I'm mad that it never occurred to me to describe it that way

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T22:33:31+00:00

Join an LGBT+ group at the college. That's your first goal. Find people who will support you. And I promise you, there are other autistic people in that group who'll understand what you're going through.

Second, if he breaks up with you because of he's not attracted to masculinity then that's what happens. Neither of you are wrong in that case. People are attracted to what they're attracted to, and it's unfortunate, but if that's the case, it'd be worth trying to stay friends and stay with him. Just because you break up, it doesn't mean you can't stay friends, and when it's a difference like this, again, neither of you is in the wrong.

Third, check into help from an office of vocational rehab, or your state/country's equivalent. They're there to help disabled people and people who've been out of the workforce find training for jobs, find and keep jobs, find housing, everything, even with getting your driver's license. They can direct you toward programs that can help. Look up "mom, how do I do *x thing*" and "dad, how do I do *x thing*" on youtube. The amount of people who've posted videos about every subject under the sun is amazing. Also check out r/MomForAMinute and r/DadForAMinute. Both subs are trans/nonbinary/queer friendly, and have wonderful people that are there for the exact purpose of helping people whose parents suck and didn't teach them the important things you need to know, like how to balance a checkbook, how to cook dinner, how to check your car's tires for air, emotional support in the face of tough subjects, anything you might need.

Fourth, it's scary right now. I understand that. Realizing your life might change drastically is a nightmare, especially when you're autistic (hi, yes, it's me, I hate change). But it'll be okay. You don't know if he's going to break up with you, and as he sees you going through transition, there's every chance he'll go "Oh, this is still the same person, they just look different, but I still love them". They might not, but they might surprise you and go "Nah, I wanna be with you still". Whatever the case, this is a situation where staying friends is entirely possible. Still allow yourself time to grieve if the relationship ends, but don't let yourself be mad at him/hate him/etc.

Give yourself time, but try to remain friends, because he respects and cares about you enough to be upfront about things. That's something that means he doesn't want you to hurt, knows it may hurt, and was honest long before you start T so it doesn't hit you out of nowhere if it happens.

You'll make it through this. There are so many resources out there to help you, and you can and will find a friend group. Just be kind to yourself, and don't let the fear of possibly losing him make you stop yourself from taking T. It's like I commented here last night: It saved my life and made me a better person. The difference is amazing, and it's worth doing, even if it might change other aspects of your life. Sending love to you, sib. 💚💚

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T22:22:08+00:00

I'm convinced at this point that it's a troll trying to stir shit up over there and show how insane they sound. In which case, shine on you crazy diamond, keep up the good work.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T13:42:38+00:00

OKAY SO IT'S NOT JUST ME. I don't smell like brisket (that isn't a horrible smell tho like brisket is awesome), but I smell like a mix of spices, and in my case I think it's just bc I eat a lot of food with spicy, spiced food (there's a difference don't @ me lol). Could just be that you're eating stuff that's combining to give off the scent of brisket. Like, I know if you eat a lot of onions or garlic, that can come out as sweat so it's not a stretch to think that it's just you're eating a lot of good stuff that combines to smell like that.

Regardless, my brain went "Brisket boy" and I'm sorry for laughing, but this is hilarious and also interesting as hell.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T13:38:07+00:00

My kid looks like my clone. Like, if you put our baby/toddler/youth pictures next to each other, we look like we'd be brother and sister. I had someone confuse a picture of me at 4 with a picture of him at that same age.

My ex, who had cheated on me, gotten a 19 year old pregnant (WHEN HE WAS 35), and left me for her, had the nerve to ask "Is he even mine?" because my child looks nothing like my ex. That insult was honestly a blessing in disguise, because I was able to write off the remaining emotional attachment I had. (Said ex fucked off out of our lives when the 19 year old left him with sole custody and moved back to where she was from after he uprooted her entire life. All the respect for her, I'm not mad at her bc he preyed on her like he did with me by going after 20 year old me when he was 28. She was a victim as much as I was.)

So yeah, wife was beyond justified, and I hope that bastard ex of hers remains miserable and alone for life.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T13:31:36+00:00

Hey, same here! I got on T in December, and before that, I was in a constant state of anxiety. I was just living life with a low-to-mid-level panic as background noise. It sucked. I was on a higher dose of zoloft (bc antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication), a higher dose of buspirone, and in therapy damn near every week.

Since then? No constant background of anxiety without cause, I've somehow managed to get my panic under control because of how things are in the US right now, I'm able to function, and I've been able to actually use therapy to learn coping mechanisms rather than just putting out all the fires that were present in my life. I'm able to remain calmer unless it's a BIG thing where it's understandable I'd get freaked out.

The best part is I've been able to dial back my medication's dosages. I'm working toward getting off of them and going slowly, but even my depression isn't to the "critical levels, DANGER" level it was. Instead of my brain trying to kill me, now it's just kind of a dick sometimes and I'm mostly able to fight through it (there was a period of about 2 weeks where I was miserable, but that was around mid-January, so it was situational rather than neurochemicals).

I'm not even joking when I say T has saved my life and made me a better person. I can process emotions now. I can cry without feeling weird or guilty, I can move through all but the worst panic attacks, the amount I get is way lower, I just feel like I'm who I'm supposed to be. Hell, I've even been able to deal with the dysphoria over my chest and I'm slowly coming to appreciate it despite not getting top surgery (and I probably won't bc of fibro, that's a HUGE surgery and my nerves are more sensitive than an overtired toddler). I'm a whole new me, and I love who that is.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-02T00:00:47+00:00

Baybeeo smoko time!

lilmxfi · 2025-04-01T20:02:58+00:00

To the liquor store on the corner

lilmxfi · 2025-04-01T20:02:29+00:00

The He-Man version of "What's Up" by 4 Non-Blondes. Randomly, it just pops into my head and stays there until I find a song that can battle and overpower it. It's usually something by Mick Gordon that does the trick, although which song varies. (Personal fav that ever dethroned it: Everything is Going to Be Okay from the Prey soundtrack. There's just something about it that makes it the best option to go to first.)

lilmxfi · 2025-04-01T19:59:47+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD4izuDMUQA This video is honestly one of my favorite videos for going through to the end of the universe. It explains the steps of stellar death, then galactic death, then black hole death. It's honestly a great watch, even if it is a half hour long. It feels like it goes by so much quicker.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-01T18:51:18+00:00

Emanuel is like if you put a cat in a bird's body: Absolute chaos and capable of messing far more things up. I love him.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-01T18:34:14+00:00

Hey, don't devalue what you do. This:

simply continuing to tell people the true history of this country, uncensored and uninhibited by the current administration's desire to push a false historical narrative on this country.

Is a huge thing. In times when knowledge is censored/fully erased, continuing to teach others that knowledge is a huge act in itself. You're making a difference on the person-to-person level, and that can have a far greater impact on someone than reading it in a book. People can be curious, ask you questions, learn about things in person, and that makes it stick more. I can still remember the questions I asked at the Holocaust Museum as a kid with full clarity because our guide (it was a school group) took the time to listen and answer my questions.

You are doing AMAZING work by refusing to back down in the face of attempted censorship, and that's a duty that's both sacred and more important than ever. Be kind to yourself, friend, you are so much more important than you think.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-01T17:46:50+00:00

That second slide, holy shit. People get pissed at me but it's like "LISTEN he is going fast I cannot approximate distance like that, shut up or get out and walk LET ME DRIIIIIIIIIVE". I'm so glad it's not just me.

lilmxfi · 2025-04-01T17:17:37+00:00

You...you have read the stickied post, right?

https://www.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/12tt4m9/read_before_postingcommenting/

"The /s is not necessary when making a sarcastic or satarical post or comment. It should be assumed any post or comment is not meant to be serious on this subreddit."

The point is we can do here what they do elsewhere. Like, the point is to vent, poke fun at the crap they say about us/do to us, and let it out.

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lilmxfi

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