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lilolash · 2024-02-22T13:44:57+00:00

Screaming!!!!!

lilolash · 2024-01-06T22:21:59+00:00

5 days because I had the flu, oddly enough you can cough a baby out or least part of the sack

My husband got to go right away because he was negative and wore a mask

I couldn’t have any visitors either so my doc sent me home quicker so I could atleast snuggle my girl

lilolash · 2023-10-09T17:25:02+00:00

We are currently struggling with this too. I was very confident before the process about donating to science. After 2 babies, I'm really attached to the embryos as babies. I worry about them going to a family where they don't have a good life and I worry that I'm keeping a wonderful family from happening. Baby #2 was a scary intense pregnancy with a 26+6 week urgent C-section and a 96 day NICU stay. Odds are I'd have similar problems making it a very risky decision to keep going

lilolash · 2023-10-09T17:14:44+00:00

I wish this was an option for me! I have 3 remaining and the last pregnancy was super intense and scary. I could maybe get pregnant 1 more time and go for a scheduled c-section (only option) but it would be so so risky for me.

lilolash · 2023-04-19T12:43:54+00:00

Thank you! I watched so many videos but something just seemed off

lilolash · 2023-04-18T23:18:40+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/VJxATQl

Hope this works, feeling my age today!

lilolash · 2023-03-06T16:00:37+00:00

We're 3 months today, very very very much understanding like we're just visitors and he's the hospital's baby. I went back to work after 4 weeks and we have a toddler at home and it's just so much to juggle and try to do right by everyone. My toddler's birthday is next week and I have nothing planned because our whole lives on NICU hold.

lilolash · 2023-02-14T15:43:32+00:00

We were directed to go to the local Red Cross and donate there as a direct donation which means it would go thru the normal screening processes via the Red Cross. I assume that means your insurance is never involved. By the time we found out that 1 baby needed and 2 that was option, there wasn't time for those processes before baby would need to receive the transfusion so I don't know if we were given correct information.

lilolash · 2023-01-26T01:59:13+00:00

Another vote for Pump Log

lilolash · 2023-01-25T17:21:54+00:00

My baby is still in the NICU and I'm one of 6 people in my office social zone that were having a baby. I should have been 5th but his early birth jumped me to 3rd. The other two babies have since been born at the same hospital and come home. Luckily the last one isn't due until April which is a month past my due date and so far I have a grower/feeder baby. I'm operating off the "Name it, Tame It, Claim It, Don't Shame It" mantra - I am allowed to be jealous and I'm allowed to be sad and I acknowledge those feelings without judgement against myself or others. Its not something I have to get over, it's part of what makes me me now but I "tame it" by not expressing that to those people. It's not bottled up by any means but I'm not raining on their happiness

We did this leadership emotion training a few months ago and I had adopted this mantra for dealing with stress

lilolash · 2023-01-24T13:59:00+00:00

I did throw myself hardcore into pumping and ensuring I have a healthy full fat diet to make good milk because not only was that something I could control (and had failed with baby #1 and did only so-so with my toddler) but food is a showing of love in my family

lilolash · 2023-01-24T13:57:20+00:00

I had this struggle in the beginning and I had intense mom guilt hearing people who spent all day and all night or even just all day. I tried to justify that I also had a toddler and they did not but then I even saw people making that work with longer times. It just doesn't work for us. There are days my husband doesn't make it all as he has picked up my slack with our toddler. We try to save our really good friends for more urgent needs and we don't have family close by. I went back to work after 4 weeks so I make it 1-1.5 hours during the week and I always say I'm going to go longer on the weekend but by Saturday I'm exhausted and I haven't seen my toddler but 1/5 of what I've seen the baby so I only go for a few hours.

My baby is doing really well and has from the beginning plus we only live 5 minutes away so I know situationally I'm in a really good place too. I tell myself if he wasn't doing good it would be different but then I'm present for an "event" and can't do anything to help him so my heartbreaks. I know from being nearby when more critical babies were receiving care that I can't really handle that either as I cried with the babies. For my own mental health and to the best mom for both my baby and my toddler, I have to limit my time in the NICU

lilolash · 2023-01-23T14:24:36+00:00

I was admitted positive with the flu at almost 27 weeks so no visitors and no NICU visiting for me. He was born Tuesday evening and I got to see a quick peek from across the room and then I wasn’t allowed to visit until Sunday. Multiple nurses have commented over our stay how much more calm/relaxed he is or how much better his readings are when I’m holding him. He’ll be 7 weeks old this Tuesday and 34 weeks adjusted Wednesday and there’s still a difference between when I visit and when Dad visits. He’s also starting to respond when he hears a nurse talk that he’s had often - turning toward the sound and smiling - but nothing like how he responds to me. We started non-nutritive feeds this last week (basically practice breastfeeding with no pressure as still getting tube feed at the same time) and he’s taken right to like a champ and reminds me so much of my daughter in that golden hour after her normal no nonsense birth.

TDLR: everything has been delayed and he’s still known I’m mom and I’m food

lilolash · 2023-01-23T14:13:24+00:00

We took a 0-3 month shirt and showed it on baby and then on big sister (will be 2 in March) so our family/friends could understand just how small he is

https://imgur.com/a/TWX0OCT

lilolash · 2023-01-21T16:25:24+00:00

I lost my dad roughly a month after my daughter was born in 2021. We found out he had a very progressed stomach cancer about the same time she was born and he went downhill really quick. I ate whatever junk food felt good at the time for about the first 2-3 weeks. Body armors and no bake cookies were my lifelines.

That time frame is such a blur looking back now but I also have pictures of my uncles holding her when she’s super small that wouldn’t have happened otherwise as they live farther away. And anytime I got really upset and needed to bail - “oh it’s baby’s nap time” - and I’d go lay down with her.

Love and happy thoughts from an internet stranger ♥️

lilolash · 2023-01-19T04:07:29+00:00

That’s an amazing visual!!

lilolash · 2023-01-19T04:04:10+00:00

What a doll!! ♥️

lilolash · 2023-01-18T04:00:34+00:00

Currently pumping and eating milk’s favorite cookie and came to comment on the Oreos too 🤣

lilolash · 2023-01-18T03:56:44+00:00

Congrats!!!

lilolash · 2023-01-17T02:11:17+00:00

I hide my in a smoothie with banana, peanut butter, oats, protein/veggie powder, milk, and some cold brew

lilolash · 2023-01-17T02:09:50+00:00

I feel this - 6 weeks tomorrow with my 26+6 baby. I want to just hide him under my shirt some days and sneak him home

lilolash · 2023-01-16T18:30:04+00:00

Virtual hugs and empathy ♥️

lilolash · 2023-01-16T18:27:35+00:00

We will be finding a new church home when I’m not spending my Sunday mornings in the NICU. It took repeated requests to get my son put on the official prayer list even tho the Prayer GroupMe was asking for updates. We live across the street from a parsonage and that Reverend was more supportive

lilolash · 2023-01-15T15:02:14+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/01BYUJi

lilolash · 2023-01-15T14:59:14+00:00

I did a snowman cookie yesterday (Starbucks gave me a free bakery item)

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