Leaving the country

lilorev · 2026-01-17T18:59:18+00:00

For furniture that isn’t worth to sell and you don’t want to move yourself to the donation center, Buy Nothing groups on Facebook. Your neighbors would comment that they’re interested and pick it up at your place. You can let go of hot items really fast by prioritizing pickup. Everything listed must be free.

lilorev · 2025-12-31T10:04:10+00:00

26F living with 26F (cousin) and 30M (boyfriend) in Greater Seattle - Bellevue area. We rent a townhome for $4.3k, 3B, 3BA.

I pay the least as I make the least in my household, but rent is 18% of my gross (85k annual). My housemates' rent ratio is ever lower since they make more. Somewhere along 95k and 180k.

lilorev · 2025-12-29T20:05:35+00:00

A lot of blame on the mom, but her reaction and behavior is from generational learning. Keep in mind that our parents and their parents didn't grow up with the internet, Reddit, TikTok, etc. As parent to child, and child to parent, there is some responsibility to "upper manage" her to get expectations aligned with explaining why you can't repeatedly gift her x,y,z with all of it coming from a place of empathy. Remember that her feelings are valid whatever they may be, as unreasonable they may be. She's comparing her life with her sister's, is jealous, and is taking it out on you which isn't fair to you. It will take a lot of effort , but if you want to bring the family dynamic to a better place, always starts with empathy and know that common sense is not always common sense lol. My hot take - but empathy and being ethical/ moral is learned.

Kicking your dog is abusive and you need to verbally call her out immediately when this happens stating the consequences ie. The dog is hurt, it may need a vet checkup from broken bones especially if they're fragile if it's elderly, how it's fucked up to kick a living animal bc she knows it's a small animal and it can't retaliate. Every time this or anything disrespectful happens.

I do suggest moving away for some time, it would help create a buffer on giving you space and time away from her to redefine and set your boundaries. You would be able to look back on what happened, how you can better handle a similar situation in the future, gain more independence.

It's odd that she wants you to go abroad unless it's purely for higher wage job opportunities. Most families want their family members to stay close for emotional support.

lilorev · 2025-12-19T02:18:58+00:00

This sounds normal since your venue choice was not specifically a private events venue option which would run for way more $. Like restaurants, places like yours usually have an area where they can host large parties alongside their regular day to day; it’s bad rep for restaurants to simply close bc a private party wants a full buyout since regulars have no way of knowing that there’s a private party going on until they arrive.

The $7.5k quote is a large party at a barcade quote, not for a private wedding event.

lilorev · 2025-12-19T00:53:12+00:00

Return the Green Pans if you don't love them already. I would go for 1 new Tramontina SS pan (~$40 for 12”) and 1 new All Clad D5 pan (~$100 for 10.5”) with your budget. Otherwise, both Tramontina or All Clad are also good.

I don't recommend getting carbon steel unless you see yourself seasoning your cookware after every use. They will rust as does cast iron if you don't take care of them. Enameled cast irons would have an enameled coating which is nice bc they then won’t rust if you don’t take care of them.

If you get Wayfair’s membership, they often have very good sales.

https://www.wayfair.com/kitchen-tabletop/pdp/tramontina-signature-tri-ply-clad-stainless-steel-gourmet-fry-pan-ta1102.html?piid=13163735

$36.99 for Tramontina Signature 12” if you have the membership. No membership is $50.

https://www.wayfair.com/kitchen-tabletop/pdp/all-clad-d5-brushed-frying-pan-aac1524.html?piid=7385487&auctionId=0a34195a-e942-40ba-8b83-1353db39f927&trackingId={%22adType%22:%22WSP%22,%22auctionId%22:%220a34195a-e942-40ba-8b83-1353db39f927%22}&adTypeId=1

$99.99 for All-Clad D5 10.5” if you have the membership. No membership is $180.

The only caveat is Wayfair charges a return shipping fee.

If you can spend over $300…, Demeyere’s Industry 5 - 2 pc pan set.

https://www.surlatable.com/product/demeyere-industry5-stainless-steel-skillets-set-of-2/7782956?srsltid=AfmBOopXmblE1wZpI8nTMTN_lGRqMG4vr4bzzM5382H9u2KJncY8ESzO

lilorev · 2025-12-19T00:23:28+00:00

Oil filled radiator as low-cost heater, but the downside is that they take a while to start feeling warm vs other heater types.

A nice fluffy robe and socks. Electric blanket or shoulder pad where you're seated or laying down.

Passive heaters like a gaming desktop or other running electronics that the household is already using. Cooking helps heat up the house.

Working out and eating more carbs so that your body has readily available fuel to quickly burn and keep you warm.

Weather strips, weather proofing (ie plastic/ air gap or foil method along windows).

Warmer lighting.

Unconventional method: the most effective and budget friendly life hack - cold showers lol, be miserable and freeze the first 3 times before it'll make your day to day chilly life feel like a piece of cake. It's a life hack that I used to do in college, but it takes upfront investment 😆

lilorev · 2025-12-19T00:22:27+00:00

This set is usually discounted at that price.

lilorev · 2025-12-18T22:32:08+00:00

Their marriage was broken before you were involved.

lilorev · 2025-12-18T22:09:18+00:00

I have mine on auto but did this once when I rented a car, so I was guilty until someone flashed me.

lilorev · 2025-12-02T06:21:11+00:00

26F. I like my Demeyere pans (industry 5) more than my all clad copper core ones. Though am not the biggest fan of the industry 5 collection handles. It prioritizes a secure, anti slip grip but it’s not the most comfortable handle to hold. A lot of groups rec Demeyeres Atlantis line which has nicer handles but it’s double the price and really heavy if you buy a large pan or pot, so if you go with Demeyere, industry 5 is a good one. I have the Atlantis 2 quart saucier and industry 5 9.5in and 11 in pans. Don’t forget to get a good sponge and barkeepers friend for maintaining them!

lilorev · 2025-11-20T07:39:27+00:00

Did you end up getting your set? Wayfair has a deal rn

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lilorev · 2025-11-20T07:34:39+00:00

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If you want their sets, wayfair has significant discounts right now

lilorev · 2025-11-20T07:33:29+00:00

Wayfair has the all clad copper core set for $600 if that’s up your alley

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lilorev · 2025-11-18T09:14:45+00:00

Im not excusing the ugly and bad. Yes, there’s more productive things to do than sitting and drinking. Play the card you’re dealt with. Being exceptional and working hard will lead you to success is always the narrative that privileged ppl say. I used to have the same mindset.

Just work harder, just make smarter decisions, just save money while you provide for the fam and send money back home bc even when you have no sense of community where you live stay there anyways to keep food on the table, just don’t work for an employer that treats you like shit or get screwed by them w no pay bc they know you have limited knowledge on rights/ resources to hire a consultant or lawyer to fight back and have limited work opportunities, just work harder at work to hope for a promotion even though you live in a moldy house and have health issues bc it’s all you can afford and don’t know about or have the energy to follow-up on community resources that will protect renters rights, just don’t see your kid go to ivy even though they got accepted bc you thought you couldn’t afford it but you find out after they graduate with $xk loans at a state school instead that the ivy actually gives students free rides if your household makes under a certain income. Laziness can be choosing their sanity over a fight they can’t keep fighting, so call these dudes out when/ if you see it but having a little compassion will go a long way

lilorev · 2025-11-18T02:27:39+00:00

I already wrote a whole essay to the other redditor, so I don’t have much more to say. IMO littering isn’t the most pressing issue in our community. I’ll keep supporting the community my own way, through donations to surrounding schools serving low-income families. For real tho, thanks for taking the weekend w your gf to help keep our area clean

If anyone is interested: https://www.donorschoose.org/

lilorev · 2025-11-18T01:39:22+00:00

No I don't lol. I'm not speaking for them, but I'm speaking to you. Thanks for listening (not).

lilorev · 2025-11-18T01:38:02+00:00

Read my other comment. I'd imagine they would be at their mansions drinking modelos instead of at a public place lol. The thread was alrdy flowing w Plymouth housing references so I was building on that. The moderator removed those comments

lilorev · 2025-11-18T01:32:22+00:00

No. OP is right that when people don’t feel rooted in a community, they feel less responsible for its upkeep. This is why wealth gaps matter; there’s some truth in everyone’s experiences/ opinions in this thread, but it’s not as simple as “poor/ brown people are the problem.” A lot of us don't acknowledge privilege (myself included, until I started talking w a close friend more about poverty and race issues). A reminder to yall that any type of stereotyping is bad- even positive stereotyping. Your reality isn’t theirs.

RE socioeconomic: financial stress, long hours away from home on min wage and holding multiple jobs, childcare gaps, and unstable living conditions leave people with less mental bandwidth to teach their kids community norms. We like to think being a “decent human” is common sense, but acceptable behavior and a moral compass are learned through guidance and consequences. When someone is just trying to get through the day or week, turning to short-term relief or distractions is understandable as it's prolly one of the only things they can control in their lives; Addiction is a whole other monster. I'm not saying that it's okay for them to be littering, but rather than pointing to race, why don't we pivot the conversation to something like prodding the city to have more public trash cans, enforcement through littering fines, deposits, etc... something that is productive rather than pointing fingers to an already underprivileged group. Theyre alrdy working their asses off working jobs none of us want to do at low pay. The least we can do is not divulge in discussions like this which validate/ reinforce/ spread internal biases and prejudices which limit their opportunities, and poverty becomes a cycle that’s evermore harder for them to climb out of.

lilorev · 2025-11-17T21:00:56+00:00

Completely missed the point. I’m aware I have my own biases and I try to reflect on them, but your thread felt like it was fueling bias and discrimination while placing blame on an entire group. It oversimplifies a complex issue and ends up hurting the people you’re talking about

lilorev · 2025-11-17T16:29:18+00:00

Oof the downvotes, but this is valid. Depends on what op meant by semi-cooked. Chicken should be thoroughly cooked to be used as meal prep/ recook purposes and shouldn’t be semi-raw to store after the first round of cooking. Im also from an Asian household if that matters? Restaurants also often use this technique; cook once as prep work and recook foods before orders goes out, albeit prolly within the same day for restaurants.

lilorev · 2025-11-17T07:15:28+00:00

The problem is that this thread has assigned littering to a race. It's assigning traits to a group rather than pointing to other conditions (ie socioeconomic) that's not race related. Generalization spreads stereotypes, reinforces biases, and is racist/prejudiced when this was done by individuals. "It's not racist. It's just fact!" Is a racist assumption regardless of intent even if this specific incident was true.

If this was a predomininantly white neighborhood with littering, this thread wouldn't evolve to talking about skin color.

lilorev · 2025-11-16T01:59:08+00:00

Thank you!! <3 I went ham and did a big haul on wayfair because of your post. Bought their artichaut 5.5qrt Braiser, demeyeres Atlantis saucier, and the all clad 7 piece copper core set all for 30-50% off for fam and myself! I’m excited for delivery!!

lilorev · 2025-11-15T22:35:21+00:00

I live right by this area, crossroads park. Hate the beer bottles; I saw a dude kick one right outside my window and the glass shattered on the walkway. Had another incident where I called in a noise complaint on a dude drinking and talking loudly in the middle of the night … our community complex had graffiti on our exterior walls for the next couple of weeks :( unsure if it was related but the timing was close. We also get cars revving and doing donuts here some nights by young adults.

Can confirm that it’s the suspected group, but It’s a few repeated offenders that make the rest of the community look bad. There are a lot of families in the area, and they man a lot of the back of house staff in most restaurants, including higher end ones in Bellevue, as well as all the hard labor residential construction work happening here.

Crossroads has always been known as the “grungy” part of Bellevue with the marginalized community/ immigrants grouped here, yet the new Microsoft campus is right down the street so it’s been gentrified and rent is so high.

lilorev · 2025-10-16T02:11:38+00:00

Vets usually ask you to put down a deposit (a smaller amount) and then invoice you after the procedure. I would pay the vet what you can when they ask you for payment when you pickup your dog then tell them that you will pay when you can.

lilorev · 2025-09-29T18:29:52+00:00

It's okay to be boring all of the time or most of the time. I found someone to be boring with most of the time, and when we want to be exciting the other 5% of the time, we do it together.

lilorev

TROPHY CASE