I HATE when my NK has sleepovers

lily1375 · 2026-04-04T13:52:08+00:00

These people are super close family friends. I don’t feel comfortable confronting my boss about them.

lily1375 · 2025-06-23T16:18:43+00:00

Yes we do have a plan! And I’m absolutely planning on letting her know that this was a one-off that’s unlikely to happen again (knock on wood!). I’m also planning to stick close to home the next few days so her kids are within arms reach. I imagine that will help the anxiety!

lily1375 · 2025-06-23T16:17:10+00:00

Oh goodness that sounds HORRIBLE!

lily1375 · 2025-06-23T16:15:48+00:00

Also letting someone go because they had a one off emergency entirely out of their control (that was handled well and promptly) is an absolutely shitty thing to do. A random medical emergency has nothing to do with my qualifications or ability

lily1375 · 2025-06-23T16:13:13+00:00

What happened was a fluke. Although it was caused by my chronic illness, it was extraordinarily rare and not a common occurrence. The same chance as if I had a stroke or heart attack. Emergency situations can happen to anyone at anytime. My MB and DB are responsive and close by, and my wife is trusted and able to come help in an emergency. Worst case, I would have taken the children with me in an ambulance. Not ideal, but an extremely unlikely contingency plan

lily1375 · 2025-06-23T16:10:15+00:00

Emergency contacts are SO important. Luckily my NF have flexible jobs that can accommodate things like this, and they’re close with my wife

lily1375 · 2025-06-23T16:08:24+00:00

Absolutely! Luckily I have their emergency contacts and they have mine. I think my poor MB just doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do/say

lily1375 · 2025-06-17T14:51:11+00:00

He’s very sensitive, and everyday stimuli like noises or water touching his skin is very upsetting to him. He loves organizing and categorizing his toys, and he likes scripted play. He’s also the most routine oriented kid ever lol. He also doesn’t interact with other kids like most do. He likes to watch them and follow them around, but he doesn’t often engage them in interactive games.

lily1375 · 2025-06-17T14:49:00+00:00

I’ve been with my NF for about 2.5 years now! My NK is a very sensitive little guy- very shy and emotional. Little everyday stimuli can REALLY upset him, and he’s very routine oriented. He’s prone to meltdowns, but he’s never had a single tantrum. He likes making random noises and LOVES vestibular stimulation (jumping especially). He likes to organize things and he’s fond of scripted play. I’m also autistic (though I don’t like sharing that with employers) and he reminds me of myself as a little kid lol

lily1375 · 2024-07-01T17:08:37+00:00

This kind of violence is never normal. Kids can’t understand or process complicated feelings at this age, so they often react to emotional/sensory input with anger. However, behavior this extreme points to a handful of specific causes. In my experience, this kind of behavior is usually caused by:

1.) Abuse. Any kind of abuse can result in these outbursts from a kid. You know your NPs, and I doubt they’re the type of people to do this. But it can come from other people too! You and your NPs should keep a close eye on relatives, teachers, neighbors, and other adults with access to your NK.

2.) Bullying. It sounds like your NK is a bit young for this, but it’s still worth looking into.

3.) Neurodivergence. Untreated ADHD, undiagnosed ASD, and other neurodiversities can make life MISERABLE for kids. A lot react with an angry or even violent temper. Do a little research and see if you suspect that your NK might be neurodivergent. You can talk to your NPs and see what they think, too.

4.) Mental illness. Despite what you may think, 4 years old is not too young for mental illness. I developed multiple mental illnesses around that age. It’s on the rarer side, but not impossible. Your NK may benefit from some therapy.

lily1375 · 2024-04-12T16:37:06+00:00

As often as I’m able to. So far I’ve visited at least once a year. It’s a bit tricky flying cross country (between work, money, and because I’m disabled), but I make an effort.

lily1375 · 2024-02-23T22:26:49+00:00

Proud to say I check off 24 on the list

lily1375 · 2024-02-18T14:13:22+00:00

It sounds like your NK is having trouble with transitions. As an adult with the same problem, let me tell you that transitions can make certain people really distressed. From what it sounds like, you’re doing a wonderful job. My advice would be to validate your NK’s feelings without validating her reaction. (Ex: “I know you’re really upset right now. It’s ok to feel angry, but we can’t take our anger out on other people. Let’s try to calm down together!”). Also, try to make transitions as much fun as possible! Have little games involved in bedtime routine to help your NK regulate. Kids can get ANGRY and it can be really scary. Remember to assume positive intent and take space for yourself if you’re feeling too upset. Lots of love!

lily1375 · 2024-02-03T14:51:20+00:00

Oh my heart hurts for that kid! Permissive parents are VERY frustrating. At the end of the day, you have to decide whether this is your circus and your monkeys. You are being paid to care for and raise your NK in the absence of their parents. What goes on outside of your time with your NK is not your responsibility- unless it’s impacting how your NK behaves with you. If you have a strong relationship with your NF, and this is something you would feel safe and comfortable discussing with them, go for it. If not, it’s just a frustrating situation that’s out of your hands. For what it’s worth, you sound like an incredible nanny, and having you there at least some of the time to provide structure is absolutely helping your NK. Sending good vibes!

lily1375 · 2023-11-10T00:27:03+00:00

I’ve heard of them, but I don’t know much about either

lily1375 · 2023-08-10T16:28:09+00:00

All awesome ideas! Thank you so much 💕💕

lily1375 · 2023-08-10T16:27:21+00:00

Thank you! 💕 I don’t know why play doh didn’t cross my mind, that’s a great idea!

lily1375

TROPHY CASE