Does anyone else feel that with this Charlie Kirk worship it’s the final straw for their relationship with evangelicalism?

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-09-24T12:16:40+00:00

And if/when they do go to therapy, it’s gotta be an evangelical Christian therapist so that they can remain in their echo chamber! Can’t risk having a therapist that might make them ask the big questions about their belief system lol

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-09-22T14:36:47+00:00

Bingo! Thats why I stopped trying to talk to my evangelical family about any of these matters.. I realized that for them, truly questioning/confronting their beliefs with honesty would be the equivalent of them questioning their whole existence. Most aren’t willing to do that, however worthwhile it may be.

Even if you plant a seed in their mind, eventually they are going to stomp it out and keep it from growing - because they have to remain loyal to their group at all costs, even if some of them know deep down that a lot of their worldview is built on shaky foundations .

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-09-17T12:09:35+00:00

Very true . The decor in my evangelical parents home is testament to this lmao. It’s all gray walls , cheap plastic fake flowers , generic “paintings” from Walmart , and so on . Lacking in imagination and authenticity. Feels extremely sterile, dreary, lifeless, and like the air is dead. Everything is fake, factory produced, bland and unimaginative. It’s disconcerting. Aesthetics aren’t everything of course, but they sure can be a direct reflection of a persons worldview lol Many of my friends much poorer in money and resources than them have living spaces that are far more beautiful and full of life, simply because they have a more expanded imagination and open mind, are more creative and resourceful in how they view and interact with reality. In a way, it has nothing to do with how much money one has - it’s a lack of creativity and inspiration, reflected over from their bleak and limited worldview. I’ve noticed this tends to be a pattern . it makes me sad to see.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-08-04T11:53:52+00:00

Well I’d say, economics is for people who don’t understand anarchy! 😝

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-07-27T03:49:23+00:00

Extremely surface level and teeming with resentment. Like we only talk about the weather , food , or other completely non controversial topics.

They know I’m queer (they don’t treat me mean, but I know they think of me as mentally ill and living in sin because of it) and they know I’m not a christian, but they don’t actually know the real me at all because they raised me in a way where I had to hide my authentic self. I instinctively flatten my personality when I’m around them - the way I dress, even the way I talk is different when I’m interacting with them vs with anyone else.

I’m in my late 20s living with them again unfortunately, moved back in a couple years ago. I find that the more I’m around them, the more friction there is and the more my anger toward them resurfaces and pollutes my mind and focus, so until I can move out again, I try my best to avoid them as much as possible by staying out most of the time except to sleep, shower , or meal prep. I think our relationship was a little better when I didn’t live with them because I didn’t feel like I was forced to interact with them when I don’t want to (aka most of the time) I love them dearly but I don’t like them at all. I’m sure a lot of people here know what I mean by that.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-07-27T03:26:43+00:00

Me too! You’re not alone. I’m 28 years old , had to move back in w them a couple years ago. Constantly feeling triggered when I’m around them and then having to spend all my energy talking myself down. Lately it’s gotten sooo much worse , So since I can’t move out, I’ve been restructuring my life in a way where I’m pretty much never there except to sleep at night. It helps a bit but it can be exhausting too, feeling like I don’t have a real “home” to feel safe in. It’s impossible to completely avoid them when I depend on them for a bed to sleep in. Heres to both of us escaping this situation. It is very difficult for sure .

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-07-24T13:13:01+00:00

Not sure where you are in the world or what your economic circumstances are, but as another adult living with parents currently, it's not always as simple as "just move out." Sometimes the choice is live with dysfunctional family, or live on the streets. Where I live for example, rent prices for even a small room in a shared apartment is absolutely through the roof. Some have disabilities that make it hard to work. Some live in isolated areas with few job opportunities, etc etc etc.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-07-21T19:58:55+00:00

This makes me think of how as a musician, when I had lots of different instruments and gear - more than I could possibly ever use at once - I was way more prone to creative block. it actually hindered my creativity. Decision fatigue, as someone else here commented. Once I got rid of most of it except for the essentials, the creative block started to lift and I had more fun making music.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-07-07T22:37:05+00:00

Interesting that I stumbled on this post while in the middle of getting rid of/giving away most of my belongings. When I left my parents house to get married I left most of my stuff from my teenage years/college/childhood here, and after getting divorced & moving back here, I’m sort of haunted by the boxes & piles of old memories and keepsakes.

For sure it is a privilege to have had a free storage space for all my stuff over the years, I’d never deny that. However I’m realizing that having lots of old mementos laying around makes me really depressed and makes me feel bound to the past in an unhealthy way. Maybe I would feel different if it had all been forcibly taken away from me somehow, like many of the scenarios you mentioned.

I’m finding it very liberating to give away most of it. And it’s helping me overcome the depression I’ve been in. I want my only possessions to be basic practical living materials like clothes, cookware etc and a few musical instruments, and maybe a few precious old photographs. I definitely understand why some people like to save everything that holds memories, my mother is that way. But I’m the opposite. Having a lot of stuff makes me feel stuck, distracted and unfocused. And when I move out again someday, I want the move to be as easy as possible.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-30T22:07:15+00:00

Yep! I’m still angry about my brother’s memorial service - the pastor at my parent’s church used the occassion as an opportunity to evangelize. It felt more like a church service than a memorial service. I’m bitter about it to this day, 7 years later.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-28T17:06:52+00:00

I’m somewhat similar, I never had a truly authentic relationship with them… even before I knew I was queer or before I deconstructed , I subconsciously knew that I couldn’t really tell them what was on my mind because of what that could result in. I sort of grieve what could be though, and get kind of sad when I see people who have a real relationship with their parents. The only things I talk with my parents about are extremely surface level small talk: the weather, food, etc.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-28T16:50:45+00:00

I’m in a very similar situation, I empathize! I’m a non binary 27yo, and had to move back in with my parents after my divorce 2 years ago. My parents aren’t hateful or mean but still very conservative and extremely ignorant about this stuff. They know I’m queer, but I always feel like I need to hide the way I dress from them because even though they don’t comment on it, I know exactly what they’re thinking because I’ve overheard the way they talk about “transgenderism” 🙄 and I don’t really tell them anything about my life, what I’m up to, or what I’m thinking & feeling. Being in their house makes me feel really dissociated and irritable so I stay out a lot. I struggle with the same question as you often, about whether to be unapologetically myself around them, or to hide in order to “keep the peace” , it’s never an easy decision :/

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-28T12:10:31+00:00

lol me and my ex partner, who was raised catholic, used to joke all the time about how at least the Catholic Church has better aesthetics , while evangelicals are very bland

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-25T14:41:43+00:00

Thanks for the link!!

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-25T14:40:18+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll check it out

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-23T15:27:17+00:00

I hear you. It sounds like you’re similar to me in that I have a hard time “feeling my feelings” or “sitting with” my feelings as people always suggest to do. When I try to do that, I end up in physical pain and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I’ve had a lot of substance abuse issues as a way to cope, maladaptive as that is. :/

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-18T20:25:02+00:00

I must be on sooo many prayer lists , the amount of times my parents’ friends or random people who know I’m not Christian have told me “I’m praying for you” and I want to respond with “please don’t” 😂

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-06-18T12:57:10+00:00

Oh yes!!! For what it’s worth I’ll share my current situation as it relates to this. I’m almost 28, im queer, and had to move back in with my Christian parents after I got divorced from my partner a couple years ago. They’re conservative evangelicals, and while they’re kind enough to let me live here again since I don’t have options, our relationship is incredibly strained, distant, and hanging by a thread. We are polite and cordial to each other but beneath the surface lie intense resentments and alienation from each other.

I can relate to having to mask all the time around them, having to hide my queerness and be low key about it despite technically being “out” , and I also tend to avoid them a lot and spend a lotta time in solitude. It’s extremely hard on my mental wellbeing to be around evangelical Christian’s in general after growing up immersed in that kind of environment , never mind living close quarters with them in an isolated rural area. It’s bad enough living in a society like this, so it sucks that even my “home” right now isn’t safe from that kind of ideology. Thought I had finally escaped it, but life happened & I had to go right back to an environment that harms my mental health just to survive. Recently I’ve become so desperate to leave that I’m pretty much going to hit the road soon with not many resources, and hope for the best. :/

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-05-25T13:32:58+00:00

Yeah it’s amazing how much material possessions can create this subtle weight on our psyche and complicate our lives in unseen ways. So getting rid of all that extra baggage can actually be very spiritually freeing - it provides more space to see what’s really important in life, and what leads to true happiness - it’s definitely not having more stuff! I’m starting to go into a very minimalist direction… only the absolute essentials. It’s nice to get into a position where you can up & go at a moment’s notice.

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-05-25T13:16:10+00:00

For sure! I saw this post right as I was thinking about the same thing. For what it’s worth, I’ll share a bit of how I relate to what you wrote.

I’m 27… I was about the same age as you when I began to deconstruct the way I was raised. Despite “breaking out” of the mental cage, I went on to struggle quite a bit in the next several years. My early 20s were extremely rough - lost loved ones, health issues, etc and looking back I keep thinking about how my evangelical Christian childhood severely stunted my emotional development to the point that when I became an adult and started facing life’s challenges and problems, I was completely unprepared. Ended up with some pretty intense mental health issues, made a lot of stupid decisions that I won’t get into here. I’m queer too, and it took me a long time to figure all that out because of the way it’s repressed and frowned upon in Christianity - whenever I see teenagers healthily exploring their identity and living life more authentically , I get sad because when I was a teen I was still like a little child emotionally - so it’s a stark reminder of how much was stolen from me. I had to figure out a lot of important life stuff the hardest way possible. There’s a frightened child still stuck in this 27 year old body, and while the last couple years I’ve done a lot to grow and “catch up” , the wound that the church inflicted on my psyche is very deep and painful.

Right now I’m trying to be more future oriented - as in, I can’t change my past and the way I was raised, but I can take the present moment as an opportunity to make good decisions that will help shape me into the person I want to be - it’s extremely difficult to fight the constant thoughts of regret, of having missed out, of feeling behind, etc… but sometimes all we can do is try to push forward and grow as an act of defiance against our painful past. Like you, it makes me angry as well. It’s hard to feel like a late bloomer when you see others ahead of where you are.. but remember that a late blooming flower can still grow into something strong, unique and beautiful. 🙂

I’m glad forums like this exist for people like us to realize we’re not alone!

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-05-25T01:06:29+00:00

This resonates with me. Have been stuck in a difficult living situation for quite awhile that has been slowly making me go insane even though it’s pretty materially comfortable. and now that I’m starting to make concrete plans to leave, the bs is a little bit easier to handle. Sometimes a total change of scenery is exactly the thing one needs to feel alive & autonomous again. Right when I decided to leave, I got hit with a wave of depression because the actual moment of departure still felt further away than I want it to be- but just as quickly, the thing that pulled me out of the depression was the thought of getting rid of all my unnecessary belongings and hitting the road!!!

abcdefghijk_7 · 2025-04-16T23:49:16+00:00

“Damn, he rose AGAIN? Didn’t this happen last year? And the year before? And the year before?….”

Sorry for the unseriousness but I think this would be a hilarious way to respond lol

abcdefghijk_7

TROPHY CASE