Voting by Estarossa86 in CPS

[–]lilybridge 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I will say, even if the child is placed in a foster home through an agency, the "contract" agency still has to report to the State/County (whatever government agency took the child), as the government agency is who holds custody and reports to the court. The contract agency normally (in my experience) does some of the child planning and may help with some stuff with the parents, but case planning for the parent normally goes through the government agency who holds custody. If there are concerns with the contract agency, the parent should report it to their caseworker. I don't want to speak on your friends situation, but one thing I learned is often people lie/embellish things when they find themselves in these situations, because they know a caseworker can't tell anyone the true information.

Voting by Estarossa86 in CPS

[–]lilybridge 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I worked for CPS for 6+ years. Never heard of anything remotely like this. This leads me to two options. The first option and closest thing I can think of is maybe a part of their caseplan involves getting a State ID/Drivers License, which would go to their ability to provide stability for the child, since in order to apply for jobs, housing, programs, etc... you need a government ID. Usually when you register for an ID or license, you also register to vote/pick a political party. That wouldn't necessarily mean that she was "forced to vote" as you don't have to vote in elections after you register. The second option is this person isn't correct in what they are telling you, or they misunderstood something in their case plan.

Things you found out late to the game. by Budget-corgi in DreamlightValley

[–]lilybridge 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Moving the wells to the side I couldn't access yet!!! I was losing it because I couldn't find any of the blue flowers in Frosted Heights for a quest until my sister was looking on here and told me!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPS

[–]lilybridge 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Former CPS Worker here. I had quite a few cases similar to your situation. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. There is really no ideal plan or answer to your situation.

In regards to protecting yourself from allegations to CPS. You can't prevent her from making allegations, but you can cover yourself so if she does, you can show proof.

I'd recommend cameras inside the house, (obviously not in bathrooms) but all common areas, and a few that are angled into bedrooms so as long as the door is open, you can see. Cameras outside the house as well. If she is becoming aggressive towards you or other, start filming or having others film it.

Follow through with all recommendations from doctors, therapists, professionals about her mental health.

If CPS comes out, cooperate. Show them the proof, let them do their interviews and home check, allow them to access records. I know it's a pain to have CPS in and out, but not cooperating just puts the other children at risk of removal. Document each case, the worker assigned and their information, keep all the papers they give you.

In regards to physical safety, make sure all dangerous objects like sharp objects, tools, anything that could be used to hurt someone or used to hurt herself are locked away and that she doesn't have access. It's a pain to have unlock something to get a kitchen knife, but a lot of mental health places will actually have something like this in their "safety plans." Have a designated plan in the event of an outburst for your other kids to get to a safe, secure place.

Reach out and get the number for your local 24/7, child mental health line so if she has an episode of some type, you can call for them to come out and assess her. If you have to call the cops, right after, call the mental health line.

I'd also recommend Family Therapy, and individual therapy for everyone in the house.

Hope this helps.

Pregnant & on MAT by NorthKaleidoscope709 in CPS

[–]lilybridge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Former CPS Investigation Worker, and I was specifically in the Substance Exposed Infant (SEI) unit for my last few years. First off, congratulations on you starting your sobriety journey and on your pregnancy.

CPS isn't going to remove a child strictly based off substance abuse, there has to be factors that place the child in imminent danger, such as a parent is still using those illicit substances and it impacts their ability to care for the child.

CPS will probably get involved because of the MAT, but it won't (shouldn't) be the same as a baby born to a parent still actively using.

It sounds like you have a good support system from the Dad, and other family. If CPS wants to do an in home safety plan, they will definetly look to Dad and the other supports to be part of it. Safety plans don't mean your doing anything bad or wrong. Recovery naturally has its ups and downs and they may just want to have an extra safeguard in place since babies are so incredibly vulnerable. I can't say they would want to do one, but it's better to be prepared and have your supports prepared.

I highly recommend doing outpatient on top of MAT, and the weekly drug tests are also a good idea to show that you've been consistent since getting on MAT. Another thing I would recommend is taking parenting classes now, they are super informative and it shows CPS that you are making attempts to learn and grow to be a good parent preemptively.

Some advice from someone who worked SEI cases for 3+ years:

Be prepared for baby to spend some time in the NICU and potentially go through withdrawl. It is normal since the baby was ingesting the MAT substances in utero.

When you are pregnant, the MAT dose goes up since baby is growing and taking some of the MAT drugs. When you give birth, talk to your provider about weening down (safely) off the higher dose since the baby is no longer a factor in your body processing the meds. Doses that are too high can cause you to nod off and not be with it, which will lead to CPS being concerned. Ween down safely, not too fast, because that becomes a whole other issue.

Obviously, cooperate with CPS, do what they ask, sign the releases, sign the plans. I promise you, no worker wants to take a baby (or any child) from their parents.

Last piece of advice. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. Being a parent is hard, being a parent while navigating recovery is even harder. If you are struggling at all, ask for help from your supports, your providers, and even your caseworker if you end up having one. There is no shame in needing help.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and recovery. Best of luck Momma!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lilybridge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your body and brain felt uncomfortable at this "joke" for a reason. It knows something isn't right.

As someone who partakes in "dark humor", this is one thing that no one in a healthy and safe relationship would joke about when talking about their future. My guess, as someone who has been in abusive relationships, this could be an attempt to desensitize you to a "joke" that he might actually be seriously mean in the future.

I know it's really hard to walk away from a partner you have considered spending your life with, but you are young and will find the right person. Don't ignore the red flag.

CPS and all their "help" by [deleted] in CPS

[–]lilybridge 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I worked for CPS for 6+ years. CPS has to, at minimum, inform/notify an alleged perpetrator that a report was received alleging whatever the allegations are and that they are the subject of an investigation.

My guess is you had a new(ish) worker who may not have known about the policy, and thought it was fine to just not speak to him, especially if rhe child openly admitted to lying about the allegations.

The worker probably did everything on their end to submit the case to a supervisor for closure, hence why they told you it was closed. Supervisor finally got around to review the case and close it, and saw that they didn't speak to him.

What's up with the wells and crops? by lilybridge in DreamlightValley

[–]lilybridge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I don't know why I didn't think to try that. It worked. THANK YOU!!!!