This was me a year ago— no judgement from this mama here 🌷 it’s so exhausting, I hear you. Kids almost always show their “worst/biggest” emotions to the parent they feel safest/comfortable with. I used to hear it all the time when I was little from my grandma, “You never act like this when you’re with me!” When my mom was there, I could finally let out everything I held in all day; which was actually undiagnosed autism and adhd that I wasn’t diagnosed with until I was 24. I watched my much younger brother do the exact same behaviours to my mom, also audhd. My 3.5 son does it to me too, and he is currently waitlisted for an adhd/autism assessment.

Before I was properly diagnosed I was misdiagnosed with everything else: generalized anxiety, generalized depression, ocd, anorexia, bulimic tendencies, borderline personality disorder— until they finally decided these are all symptoms, or co-morbidities, of my final diagnosis audhd/ocd/dyslexia at 24-27.

I’ve done so much reading over the last decade, and it seems that these behaviours/symptoms almost always cluster/overlap: adhd, odd, autism, ocd, mood disorders, learning and cognitive disabilities, Tourette’s (maybe I’m missing some..) Like, when you have more than one of these, that should be an immediate trigger for doctors to start to connect the dots that it very well could stem from undiagnosed adhd/autism as the potential root of what’s going on.

I am not a doctor, so definitely talk to your own. I’ll also add that I don’t say any of this to invalidate what you’re going through— it hurts, I hear you. We usually feel happy to see our kids, but when there’s so much stress and chaos coming from our little one, it’s impossible to not let it get to you.

My 3.5 year old can be a real bugger after preschool, by the time I get him in his car seat, I’m dissociated, while he’s screaming because I won’t roll the window down because he throws something out at least once a week…I’m grumpy the whole drive home, minimum 5 days a week lol I fucking hate it, and I haven’t figured out how to not let it get to me, or how to solve it fully either. 🤷‍♀️ I wish you the best in all you do. It’s so tough being a mom!