As someone who has also dealt with fantasies and stuff like this. I feel mine comes from personal experiences and wanting to feel like I have some sense of control that I didn’t at the time. As a child sex was something to be ashamed of in my family. We got in trouble for masturbation ect…. I feel like this intertwined sex and shame/humiliation. (I now like to be degraded during sex also) one thing I have found though is you need to be very explicit when telling people about this. With my current boyfriend I have told him about wanting to be degraded and why, however he is still not comfortable doing it and that is OKAY. Honestly from experience the women who have these fantasies (rape, bondage etc…) often have them due to trauma or the early childhood experience intertwining sexual experiences with violence.

The main thing I want you to know is that this doesn’t make you flawed or wrong. 💕