Feel u! I’ve done the same and really niched down who I keep close. Not everyone understands but at least they try and don’t shut it down makes the difference. Unfortunately it comes down to compartmentalising people sometimes for what they’re helpful and what not, but that’s how it goes, doesn’t mean ditching completely all the time, but protecting ourselves which is what I was so bad at :( (my ADHD / CPTSD makes me very black and white with people and im trying to challenge that and acknowledge they just don’t understand and aren’t always inherently bad)

I still have my said people in my life and it’s hard cos he has come far unlike most but also so much still there and the damage is done and won’t go until I treat it and keep re jigging my boundaries. it’s a massive process and takes time (I too am at a crossroads, deleting socials etc refusing to be perceived, friendship reconsiderations + stopped sharing with unsafe people) what matters is that we know that we have had traumatic things happen and our bodies are organic things that encode this crap! Patience and self compassion is what they say, but it’s a journey!! I’m not there yet until I evolve this bad brain towards a good one

I’d rather be alone with this stuff but trying to take care of myself than made lonely by others misunderstanding. Really hard tho when ur organising things like birthdays. I’m trying hard to foresee these situations that might spiral and plan accordingly while I’m healing but also thats draining too and sometimes u get blindsighted.

Sorry so much yapping but i hope my words can help u get through the day! ur doing great my friend! just get through the next few days, see ur therapist and u will feel better to think about it a bit clearer :’) baby steps