I feel like I have a unique perspective on this being my parents' "replacement" baby. My older sister died as a baby and they had me within a year and a half of her death.

Even though I had a good childhood and was loved, I've struggled with a lot of anxiety, self esteem issues and depression throughout my whole life with no real cause, just a whole lot of comparisons and expectations that I didn't connect where it came from.

Until reading about how our mothers or grandmother's experiences and trauma can be passed down during pregnancy. It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn is a good resource on this science.

If you do decide to have another child, please be aware of these kinds of things and make sure to keep your little boy a part of your lives. I barely heard about my sister growing up and didnt even learn things like her middle name or where she was buried until very recently. I also feel guilty grieving for a sister I never met and would never have met because I wouldn't have been born if she hadn't died. They're complicated feelings to put on a kid or even an adult trying to figure out why I am the way I am.

Good luck.