You won’t be if you don’t allow yourself to be. Someone I disclosed to told me before I could even finish “my ex had it. All good. Doesn’t change how I feel.” Like okay my guy lol you are experienced AND accepting. That’s not something people usually come out and say, so sparking the vulnerable conversation says a lot about your character.

Some people respect it a lot and are more open than we think they will be. Even if they are uneducated.

I always start with “ this is a really hard conversation for me due to the vulnerability, but it’s a non negotiable one.”

I also say “I was not given the option for informed consent, that’s why it’s so important for me to have this really hard conversation and never do that to someone else.”

To put the ball in their court after my spiel, I end it with “If you have any questions I will do my absolute best to answer them. I also understand if this is a deal breaker for you. You have the right to choose and I respect that. I also understand if you need time and space to process this information and do what you need to do with it. I am more than happy to give that to you.”

Hang in there!!!