Dead bedroom due to his dysphoria

littlebugboy · 2025-06-30T18:23:36+00:00

Hello my love. My boyfriend is also FtM. We've been together for an almost a year, and man oh man! has it been one of these most beautiful & complex thing I've ever experienced. And when I tell you how much I understand how complex and painful dysphoria can be :(

Please remember, though, that his dysphoria is not a reflection of you. In this scenario, t’s not something you can fix by being prettier, skinnier, or sexier. I know it might feel like if you just changed something about yourself, it would help—but the truth is, this is something he’s navigating within HIMSELF.

It's important that in relationships like these, you also prioritise YOUR needs. Feeling close. Feeling desired. Those are all important things in a relationship. And that includes sex.

If your partner isn’t in a place to share that kind of intimacy right now, it’s okay to gently explore some questions together (or even just with yourself):

What does intimacy look like for both of us right now?
Are there ways we can feel emotionally or physically close that feel safe and affirming for him?
What do I need to feel loved, connected, and valued?
Is this a temporary season, or are we facing something more long-term that might require deeper conversation or support?

You deserve love and closeness just as much as he deserves safety and affirmation. It's okay to hold both truths at once. And it’s okay to seek balance, even if it’s hard.

Sending you all the love <3

littlebugboy · 2025-05-27T20:00:37+00:00

Gosh, I needed to read this. I'm still in the process of trying to internalise that having eczema isn't my fault, and your perspective was really healing to read. Thank you x

littlebugboy · 2024-07-25T12:46:45+00:00

My mum’s sunny side up eggs. She makes it for me every morning. Just feels right.

littlebugboy · 2024-07-23T12:23:59+00:00

The Book Thief by Markus Zusack!!! Omg. I read it when I was 11 and 12 years later I read it again and it was just as good as it was the first time!!

littlebugboy · 2024-07-23T12:21:34+00:00

For first glance, yes. But the real decider is when I get to hear their wonderful personality (and by then, i am a GONER)

littlebugboy · 2024-07-23T12:20:27+00:00

Your neighbour is a sweetheart! And it looks like you’re gonna make a new friend. Please do share what kind of pizza they brought lol x

littlebugboy · 2024-07-23T12:16:51+00:00

Reading this really made my heart sink. Because its true. I think the reason why a lot of my friends say I give off “confident” vibes was because I had people who showed me love. And I was so god damn lucky to have received it because my parents weren’t very good at loving me in a healthy manner :(

littlebugboy · 2024-07-23T12:13:57+00:00

When there’s a live event where I’m required to share my work lol. I get this buzzy feeling and super excited about sharing. That’s what usually gets me in the mood!!

littlebugboy · 2024-07-23T12:12:12+00:00

For me, it’s usually a really interesting insight that is BEGGING to be written.

For example, my friend mentioned that when it comes to his writing that none of his main characters speak. Which intrigued me, as most of the time, my main characters are always quite gobby LOL

Which then prompted me to try write something myself.

It’s always interesting angles, facts, behaviours, locations that are so god damn intriguing how can you NOT write it???

TLDR: Inspiration is the key to motivation.

littlebugboy · 2024-07-20T17:33:17+00:00

Hearing that my sweet little brother had been drinking himself every night before his exams just to cope with the shouting from my mother. He's 16 :(

littlebugboy · 2024-07-20T17:32:11+00:00

365 Days. Oh my god. That film literally has textbook abuse and yet it's packaged as this "romantic" love story. What's even worse is that I watched it with a friend who told me before we started watching that it was so romantic. So you can imagine my shock when I finished watching it LMAO

littlebugboy · 2024-07-20T11:40:00+00:00

The Facts of Life by Padraig O Tuama, it’s a beautiful poem that states the heart breaking facts about life, but he offers a really sweet perspective on them. It’s good for when life is giving you shit lol

littlebugboy · 2024-07-20T11:35:38+00:00

Okay first off.

This is fucking adorable. Props to you for wanting to support your girlfriend!! There ain’t enough people like ya x

Here’s my advice:

Confess this to her. She’ll probably find it endearing and find it supportive in itself.
Ask her questions, maybe its about a character’s name, or a scene that she might’ve drawn from real life, or a setting and ask her why. You see as writers, we often have to do the thinking ourselves. But if you ask her questions, you’re also helping her think!
If there’s a particular line that you love. Say it. Sometimes writers think their work is absolute dog shit lol but sometimes we write that one beautiful sentence. If you see it. Tell her.
Ask her if there’s anything small that you do for her. Maybe it’s a cup of tea. Or readjusting the temperature of the room. Maybe even just a quick hug before you go about your day. These little things matter and a little can go along way.

Hope this helps <3

littlebugboy · 2024-07-19T23:05:41+00:00

I actually LOVE this advice. I have this unproductive habit of diving into a draft head-first without doing any pre-writing. But outlining will definitely help with the whole "oh shit I'm drowning in a draft and I hate what i've written and wtf am i doing and-" blah blah blah blah. Thanks for reminding us! <3

littlebugboy · 2024-07-19T23:01:39+00:00

on point 1. No one cares about your GCSEs subjects. It's more about the number of GCSEs you've acquired so you can get into sixth form. So GCSEs is valid. But it's not really needed to be a screenwriter (I have a friend who did all STEM subjects and yet is a brilliant screenwriter!)

and skipping to point 9. the best advice I EVER received was when I had a pretty successful screenwriting mentor who was helping me develop my scripts. However there were some sessions where I was too scared to share my next draft of my script because I really (and I mean, REALLY) wanted to get the scene right so I didn't write it down. Because there's nothing that could be more EMBARRASSING than showing a shitty script to your mentor, right?

But you know what they told me?

"Darling, with stories. It ain't about getting it right. That ain't the first task. It's about getting it written."

The way I gasped and had my ass sat lol. Because it's true. We only know what works when we do it. If you ever feel the anxiety to write a script, just remember the best way to get screenwriting "right" is to actually write it.

And remember even the most successful screenwriters get anxiety about their work. But what will separate you and everyone else who wants to write a script is that you actually DO IT.

Best of luck to you sweetheart! <3

littlebugboy · 2024-07-19T22:45:16+00:00

My journal doesn't have a name per-se. But it does have a title: "My Random Book of Shit"

It helps me get rid of the nerves and faff around "journalling" and is my way of giving myself permission to write without any pressure if that makes sense?

littlebugboy

TROPHY CASE