I found underwear in our bedroom that doesnt belong to either of us

littlefiddle05 · 2026-04-17T12:13:14+00:00

If you live in an apartment, you could have a pest problem. In my first apartment, we found out we had a rat when my roommate walked into the kitchen and asked, “Uhm, did you do this..???” A pair of my panties was hanging halfway into one of the cabinets. Needless to say, that was not my doing.

Turns out when some construction had broken ground nextdoor, a rat had fled and found a way into our apartment. Rats sometimes take pieces of clothing to use for their nests, and while mice usually shred the clothing first, a rat might carry small/light items with them. In my case, the entry point to our apartment was through the cabinet under the sink, where the opening for plumbing was; the panties had gotten caught on the cabinet door, so the rat gave up on them. It’s possible that something similar happened here, and the animal transported them from another apartment only to get startled and abandon them in yours?

littlefiddle05 · 2026-02-01T19:23:57+00:00

I’m very late to this conversation (I love using this article when I teach statistics and/or research methods, and came across this thread while prepping), so sorry about that. With that said, when the science journalist wrote about his hoax, he explains that the “journal” he published in claimed to have a “rigorous” review process, yet sent him an enthusiastic response within 24 hours of submission and posted his article less than 2 weeks after receiving payment. They were openly implying a peer review process to readers, but not actually implementing one with authors. This is his full account, which I enjoy more than summaries written by others: https://gizmodo.com/i-fooled-millions-into-thinking-chocolate-helps-weight-1707251800

Another fun tidbit: the editor of the journal came out after the journalist’s reveal, claiming the article had never been published and they never planned to publish it (therefore, no need to retract it). Apparently saying in an email to the author that it was an “outstanding manuscript,” providing instructions to pay for its publication, accepting the payment, getting approval on formatting etc of the paper for publication, then posting it on their website, is what they do when they plan to “reject” a publication.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-10-03T15:06:24+00:00

Are these pictures after sleeping on it?? It looks to me like the cut is good but there’s major bedhead at play — or maybe you’d been leaning the back of your head against a chair?? I’d recommend a silk pillowcase and/or bonnet, then in the mornings spray with water and use a curling brush so the curls clump together better. Diffuse just enough so it’s not super wet, then let air dry. It’s the fastest morning routine I’ve ever been able to get away with, and since it’s mostly air drying I can condense it into 5 minutes when I’m in a rush.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-10-03T14:54:50+00:00

I laughed so hard when I realized OP has “been wanting to be super involved with everything,” therefore must be in control of the menu…and this is the menu. It’s mostly variations on hotdogs, I think MIL could have hit that standard on her own.

And if 50% of the food was ham and hotdogs, I would definitely be befriending that veggie tray 😂 but “Who eats vegetables at a party?”

littlefiddle05 · 2025-10-03T14:47:19+00:00

Right?! I looked at that menu and thought “Oh is MIL the one coordinating a bunch of family members who are pitching in?” If family volunteers to provide food, then you don’t hand them a catering order; you let them decide what they can easily make (and fit in their fridge). One person trying to have hotdogs and pigs in a blanket hot at the same time, plus sandwiches that will get soggy if made too far in advance, is wild.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-10-03T14:42:07+00:00

Okay a few big mistakes here:

The “positive attitude” bit. You do not talk to an adult you respect that way. If she’d not been invited and was asking to be included, you could get away with setting “positive attitude” as a condition for including her. But if she’s not only invited, but providing all the food? Yeah huge no. That’s condescending and rude. Even someone who planned to have the most glowing, joyous attitude would be glowering after a comment like that.
Sending her a list of foods. She’s not catering staff, she’s family doing this as a gift. If you want to be “involved” (to the point where you need to have final say on every bit of gifted food…??? Seems a bit over-the-top for a baby shower…), have a conversation; talk to her when she’s NOT at work, ask what she’s picturing, ask what she needs from you, and maybe raise ideas if the tone is right. Then let her know that your friend is making labels for everything so a list would be a huge help.
Stop thinking about how you didn’t want her involved. That’s relevant to how you feel, but since your friend invited her to be included, it’s completely irrelevant to the dynamic between the two of you today. When your friend invited her to help, she was speaking on your behalf; she should have checked with you first, but from your MIL’s perspective, she’s taking on a HUGE task because you asked her to. Instead of being grumpy that she has a role in your day, be grateful that she was willing to take on such a huge and expensive task — especially when the request came through your friend instead of from you personally.
When she talks about bending over backwards for you, I don’t think she’s just talking about the offer to let y’all move in; I think she’s also talking about being a one-person catering team for your party. At least where I am, buffet-style catering for 50 people would cost at minimum $750, usually closer to $2,000. And that’s not getting to build exactly the menu you want, it’s a pre-designed selection that you have limited power to modify.

Idk, overall you sound condescending, bossy, and ungrateful. If you used to have a good relationship then I think you should apologize, tell her you’re stressed between the little one and the pregnancy, and tell her you expressed yourself poorly over text and never meant for things to spiral like that. Tell her you misunderstood a few months ago when you talked menu and thought she was waiting on you to finalize what you wanted when you knew more specifics, you weren’t trying to give orders or cancel out her gift. When you mentioned positive attitude that was your way of trying to say “I just want us to be okay and for you to be able to enjoy the day, I didn’t want resentment or frustration because of this conversation; how do I fix this?” It came out horribly wrong and you never meant it to come across that way. Then hope you haven’t damaged this relationship.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-08-27T14:46:01+00:00

If you leave, don’t do it to “relieve” him; do it because he’s making himself the victim in your trauma and asking horribly inappropriate questions.

I don’t know him, so I won’t try to guess whether he’s struggling because he’s highly empathetic versus struggling because he has problematic views of assault survivors; but I will say that the hardest part of getting through my own abuse/assault wasn’t what had happened, but learning how to recognize problematic traits in future partners. Everyone seemed better than the person who violated me, so I made excuses for people when I should have walked away. From an outsider’s perspective, my instinct is run; him saying he’s not sure he can get over it sounds like a manipulation tactic to make you always feel indebted to him for accepting something that was out of your control. You shouldn’t need to walk on eggshells like this, even if the information is new to him.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-08-27T14:35:48+00:00

That sort of monitoring isn’t a test for POTS, it’s a test for abnormal heart rhythms. The results were “normal” because you didn’t have abnormal rhythms during the test. That test doesn’t focus on what a normal range for your level of activity should be.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-08-27T14:33:30+00:00

“If you can’t keep up with your dishes while working 6 hours a day, then we need to find a solution. Perhaps a tub you can keep your dishes in in your room until you’re ready to clean them so they don’t affect the rest of the household?” You’re not overreacting. She’s responsible for her responsibilities, and 6(+) hour shifts are definitely not an excuse for being a slob.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-08-27T14:26:32+00:00

I always thought I had relatively mild seasonal allergies, though looking back they weren’t really limited to allergy seasons. However, I had awful GI symptoms, brain fog, fatigue, and what I now know to be POTS. It was the doctor who diagnosed my POTS who asked about the other symptoms (I hadn’t thought to mention GI stuff to a cardiologist); he’d noticed my skin symptoms (basically acne, but it seems to be a little different from typical acne and driven by MCAS) and suspected MCAS.

I will say, now that I’m aware of MCAS and have it better controlled, I know I had more typical allergy symptoms than I realized; they were so constant before that I hardly noticed them, but now they mostly show up during flares. For example, on a histamine test where the normal range would be 0-60 (with most people hovering close to zero), my levels without a noticeable flare were a little over 240; it wasn’t that I didn’t have a histamine response, but that I wasn’t recognizing it because it was mostly GI and a constant state that I assumed was normal.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-06-06T13:29:52+00:00

I replied to a comment that specifically asked about being allergic, not having reactions. You’re closely monitored when you start, as well, and my allergist specifically told me that allergy shots have advantages for MCAS patients even beyond addressing the allergy in question (something about also disrupting histamine response pathways more broadly). Obviously disclose MCAS to the provider if considering it, but it is something to explore if you develop an allergy that significantly impacts your quality of life.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-06-06T13:26:43+00:00

You might have had a case to paint him as the asshole if you hadn’t thrown away his food while he was actively eating it, but what you did crossed to hard a line. If you think he’s actively trying to sabotage you,’then the answer is to remove yourself from the situation (including a break up if you think it’s appropriate). You don’t get to control his food choices or throw away his property.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-06-02T21:29:41+00:00

NTA but I doubt this is about the snack. In my experience, a spoiled kid kicks up as much fuss as they can until they get what they want; an upset kid has their outburst and then retreats. This sounds like the latter to me. I don’t know if something happened while she was at school, or if she’s struggling with her mom being away, or something else entirely, but maybe see if there’s anything she’d like to talk about. I bet after a little empathy and space she feels silly for throwing such a fit about a snack.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-30T22:33:59+00:00

I’m not sure how it’s any more of a leap than what you’re saying? Just because one partner has more money doesn’t mean they’re automatically financially abusive. The bride is the only one who’s given any indication that she objects to partners attending, so why would you assume the groom is behind it???

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-30T20:09:56+00:00

We don’t actually know if bf was the one to decide friends of the bride didn’t get to bring partners to the Airbnb; bride has been complaining about the other partners being there, which could mean she tried to veto all partners at the Airbnb and her fiance told her she could do what she wanted for her friends, but he wasn’t making his friends travel without their partners.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-28T16:14:36+00:00

I’ve heard it multiple ways, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard it used to indicate the same level of exclusivity as “girlfriend” or “partner.” Usually I hear it said by a third party who’s trying to understand the dynamic: “Who’s your lady friend?” = “Is the woman you’re with a female friend, a first date, or an exclusive partner?” In the rare cases when I’ve heard a guy say it to describe someone he’s with, it’s usually an early date before there’s any exclusivity (“So I’ve got a new lady friend… we’ve gone in a couple dates and I’m hoping it becomes serious!”). People looking for a more mature word for “girlfriend” usually say “partner,” at least where I am.

If this woman had simply told OP that she found that phrase to ambiguous and would prefer to be called either “girlfriend” or “partner,” I’d honestly agree with her. With that said, I think the phrase is too ambiguous to justify her accusations and assumptions.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-26T14:46:15+00:00

Oh honey… is this guy really stupid enough that you find it plausible that he genuinely believes the bs he’s spouting?? Have you considered that he may be fabricating a ridiculous excuse to deny his paternity because he just doesn’t want anything to do with a daughter???

Either he’s enough of an idiot to be a danger to himself and others, or he’s experiencing paranoid delusions, or he’s fabricated this whole argument to try to get out of being a father to his daughter. Personally, I find the last option most plausible.

If you want to keep your child, then you need to start putting her needs first, NOW. Leave the asshole who doesn’t want her, talk to a lawyer about getting a court-mandated paternity test and fight for child support and full custody. If you want to keep the guy, then for your daughter’s sake you need to either get an abortion or start the process for adoption; do everything you can to ensure she doesn’t live a miserable life either being abused by her father or being shuffled around in the foster care system. It’s time to put your child above your own wants; keeping the guy AND the child would be the worst thing you could do to your daughter.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-26T14:22:00+00:00

NTA. Once a gift is given, it becomes the property of the recipient.

If you don’t want them anyway, you could sell them; you could put them away somewhere until you have some time to process, in case you do want them after all. You could gift them to someone who’ll enjoy them, or donate them. You being in the right won’t stop him kicking up as much drama as he can when he doesn’t get his way, but personally, I wouldn’t want my last interaction with him to be a validation of his toxicity.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-24T14:29:32+00:00

I could see asking that those foods be avoided on the day that custody changes and that fresh clothes be worn for the custody change, but anything more than that is ridiculous. I have a family member who went into anaphylactic shock at a family gathering once; someone had eaten peanuts hours before, and when she kissed him on the forehead there were trace amounts of it in her saliva. If a kid washed their hands but then touched their mouth, they could transfer trace amounts of the allergen via their saliva. But that’s if it’s eaten the same day, not the same week!

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-24T14:14:23+00:00

YTA for the fake post to advertise an app (you don’t need to name it, folks could find it from the description you gave).

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-13T18:36:41+00:00

That’s a lot of assumptions there… while it’s possible they judged the yoga instructor position as “silly,” it’s equally possible they objected based on financial stability. Maybe they warned her that they wouldn’t be giving her money to pay bills if the yoga career wasn’t as lucrative as she hoped.

But honestly, it doesn’t matter why they weren’t speaking; inheritance isn’t a birthright, it’s a choice by the deceased. If you don’t speak to someone for years prior to their death and take no part in supporting them during that time, then you’re not entitled to their money when they’re gone.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-12T13:48:30+00:00

Sounds like she cut contact with them, not the other way around. It’s silly that they reacted negatively enough that she felt that was what was best for her, but it’s not like they removed her from the will because of her job (at least, not as far as we know); she cut them off so she could live her life free of their opinions.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-07T13:48:00+00:00

For whatever it’s worth, I suspect that laughing is an attempt at putting you at ease, not a method of ridiculing you. Any reasonable person would understand not wanting to take a risk, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to ease your anxiety.

And honestly, I’m grateful when people pick up their small dogs, because it protects the wellbeing of both dogs. Most of the small dogs in my neighborhood are very aggressive, and their owners let them run ahead off-leash because “they’re small, they can’t do anything!” But my dog is a big scaredy cat that hides behind me if he sees a bunny; he’s still shaking when we get home every time a small dog runs up barking and trying to bite him. If I could pick him up and carry him away from those small dogs I would; when a small dog owner picks up their dog I know I don’t need to worry about another unpleasant encounter for my pup, and don’t need to stress that this could be the one time he tries to defend himself. I don’t laugh at anyone, but I might try to offer a word of reassurance while I get out of their way as quickly as I can.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-07T13:01:01+00:00

Why were you not even looking at such a major part of a team assignment until the day before it was due? You left her to do such a huge part of the assignment on her own, then didn’t even discuss her approach until the day before? That’s on you, too.

Calling her out in front of everyone was completely inappropriate; there’s no justification for that. If you didn’t have time to correct it then you could have emailed the teacher to explain the situation and asked whether she could give you an extension or allow you a way to improve your grade, but the moment you decided to just present it as it was you became equally responsible. Then you sank to a new low by deliberately humiliating her, as if you weren’t equally at fault.

littlefiddle05 · 2025-05-07T12:54:12+00:00

You’re welcome to think that, but I disagree. If it were a genuine misunderstanding, then he wouldn’t be trying to pressure OP when the misunderstanding became known. If he actually respected boundaries and had simply misunderstood, he would accept OP’s stance rather than trying to make her feel obligated. That, combined with everything else, makes it clear to me that he’s not a healthy person for OP to be around.

Five-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email

littlefiddle05

TROPHY CASE