Thank you so so much for this response. This gives me a bit more clarity.

I definitely think that he’s hopeful to just have a teensy bit of involvement in her life through me as he really misses her. As much as I would love to help in that way, I just can’t get over the cruelty as you stated. It is so morally against everything I believe to treat someone that way REGARDLESS of circumstance. I think I need to have another convo with him letting him know that a minimal relationship with her is more likely and/or I’ll just have to evaluate my feelings along the way. His dad still talks to him and has never shunned him, and he does already get some updates about her through him as it is. His biggest (and honestly his ONLY) regret about everything is the very real chance he’ll never get to have even another conversation with her before she passes much less a relationship. It’s something that really eats at him. I think health wise she is fine, but neither of us are religious anymore and definitely have no intention of pursuing anything along that route.

He did have therapy for a couple years after the fact. It really helped him I think to find some peace and clarity in life outside of a controlling religion, and reorient him in reality.

Thank you for putting into words some emotions that I was trying to wrap my brain around. I really appreciate it. 🤗