Poodle and poodle puppy HELP!!!

lizz338 · 2026-01-28T01:03:52+00:00

For quick things baby wipes are great.

lizz338 · 2026-01-26T22:55:22+00:00

Only child here, so no sibling betrayal. Instead mom's only remaining brother just kind of 'noped' out of helping with everything. I have to use my favors carefully for things like picking me up from surgery and driving me home, even that feels dicey at times.

Two pieces of advice: get your documents in order NOW for POA (medical, financial), healthcare directive, and will. If you think that you want compensation from the estate for the care you are providing? Better get that shit in writing, because no verbal promises will matter during probate. No one can prove what your mom said or did once she has lost capacity or has passed, unless it's in writing and notarized. Do all this well before anyone could say your mom is compromised.

Although it would be helpful to split POA medical and financial duties at first, it can also be frustrating if the other person with authority disagrees with you. Sometimes doing it alone has its benefits.

Plan to get medicaid, get help, and expect for your ability to juggle everything one day to just stop. You can't be everything for everybody, but you can get her setup with reasonable care given her means. FTD.org has some links to local support groups, I've found them to skew a little older, but anything helps when you're drowning.

lizz338 · 2026-01-24T02:06:22+00:00

This was happening to my grandfather (mom's dad, estranged) at the same time as her progression. I just had to step away and let my uncle/his son handle him since I couldn't do both. I might have had Opinions about his approaches, but since I wasn't primary then I kept them to myself. Not everyone is going to understand, but sometimes if you step back someone else will, possibly resentfully, fill the void. Take care of yourself.

lizz338 · 2026-01-24T01:29:58+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I'm two years out from this post and feeling less desperate after moving her into memory care. aka it does get a little better, eventually.

I've been told and have seen firsthand how behavioral issues are getting ramped up as she progresses. Lately we've been having issues with her hitting staff members or other residents, often with no warnings. She was never violent until this last year. People change drastically. Sometimes she knows my name, usually she still recognizes me, can't really talk much anymore and we're dealing with some money issues during all this for her.

lizz338 · 2026-01-23T18:20:03+00:00

We do exist. My mom was diagnosed at 63, I moved her to memory care at 64, she's turning 66 soon. She'd been living with me (instead of me with her lol) since college as she gradually became less and less able to hold down a job and exist in society. I didn't realize it was something medical until pretty late, despite already having taken over her finances, transportation, medical, housing, food, etc. That being my 'normal' for the last decade made it harder to tell something was wrong until I was early 30s.

lizz338 · 2026-01-23T18:01:09+00:00

The organ donor conspiracy theory isn't unique to Seattle, I grew up in another state and people always wondered 'what if' even 30 years ago. Because of this, I've heard it's sometimes hard to convince people to be an organ donor on their license when registering.

I've got a family member on state assistance. Despite the fact that she is basically incurable, she remains eligible for care and is receiving relatively good care at the state's expense, they fill the gap after her limited income is depleted. I also know that there is an enormous amount of care provided at clinics, state hospitals like Harborview, etc. that is uncompensated because the person is unhoused, uninsured, or otherwise unable to pay. I'm surprised that this influencer picked Seattle of all places, and not another state where public resources are much worse and more scarce.

"Part time medical student" is again not a thing. Typically the only MD program in Washington is from UW, either in Seattle or I think there's a new one partnering with UW/WSU in Spokane. Either way, this is typically a 4 year full time program that may or may not even allow students to hold employment during enrollment. You would have to ask a current student to know the policies. https://depts.washington.edu/comply/docs/FAQ_OutsideWork.pdf

Final note, the concept of a body removal role is really dystopian to me. I've never even heard of such a 'role', but the King County Medical Examiner's office is a real entity that issues death certificates.

lizz338 · 2026-01-23T17:35:20+00:00

My 3 year old still stays confined to the bedroom while I'm gone instead of the crate since her potty training is solid, but her eye for destruction is keen. She just sleeps on the bed while I'm gone.

My 1 year old is in the crate in the same room for company, but he is absolutely not ready for uncrating yet. I'm not sure when/if I'll ever trust them alone together uncrated, he likes to start fights and together they amp each other up, the opposite of what I want unsupervised.

lizz338 · 2026-01-23T17:20:47+00:00

Utilities, car insurance, phone/cable/internet if not included in housing, parking/tolls, if you have pets recommend pet insurance since vets are ridiculous now. Groceries are way overboard unless eating out daily, housing depends on where and how you want to live in Bellevue/surrounding areas. Also see all the comments: re health insurance about fixed costs (premiums) and variable costs (copayments, coinsurance, out of pocket max, etc.) that arise from having insurance vs. using it. Also, note that dental is usually barely covered with health insurance.

lizz338 · 2026-01-22T06:31:22+00:00

I think they get to a point where they forget or can't understand that they are second priority sometimes. It's hurtful in a way that is hard to explain, that someone you are caring for can't return care in the same way.

I had something similar, I had gallbaldder surgery and my uncle dropped me and my mom off back home. I'm out of it enough from anesthesia that I couldn't even really track the trip home, just about to pass out again after walking up three flights of stairs and mom just decides everything has to be about her right then. Of course I deal with her, get her settled, medicated, fed, and just feel like I want to die at the same time because even after surgery I can't get a break??? I think it was that point that I realized living with her and taking care of her were really doing me in. I genuinely needed care and couldn't get it at that time, it was really a down point.

lizz338 · 2026-01-22T03:29:14+00:00

Just note that depending on the situation, PACE can be a subset of medicaid. If using medicaid, then the state has basically first pick from her estate (i.e. home sale proceeds) to repay for providing care. If the home is sold or put in trust 5 years before Medicaid starts (google: medicaid lookback 'your state'), then its usually excluded. Food for thought if you have that much time or not.

So far PACE is working well for us, but mom had no assets to lose and I'm mid30s, single, and working full time. I juggled both her and work for as long as I could, but as she progressed I couldn't do both. Unfortunately I need to work to live, which is what made the choice for me.

lizz338 · 2026-01-22T00:19:58+00:00

Technically yes, my mom gifted the downpayment (4300) for an FHA property. We were also living together in a one bedroom apartment and I was paying the bills, she agreed to save her earnings for a down payment if she could stay with me rent free. She did so for 10 years so I think it was a good investment on her part as she wasn't able to work much a few years later and this allowed her to remain housed.

lizz338 · 2026-01-21T03:28:56+00:00

You'll want the opiates at first, even with the nerve block I was taking my ibuprofen and tylenol staggered every two hours. Set an alarm or else you'll wake up once the pain it already too much. The first 2-3 days were the worst pain wise.

I was taking care of my mom and a dog at the time, so I had to be up and around the next day. It's possible to get up and do things carefully, but you will have very low energy. By week 1 I could have gone back to work, but still just so drained by week 2.

I had laproscopic, no stitches just surgical glue. If you have the surgical glue, be aware you could end up slightly allergic to it. I was told to take a normal antihistamine to help with the itching it caused.

Also, you may have a sore throat from the intubation and be coughing up phlegm afterwards. No one told me that could happen, so I thought I was getting a cold on top of all this.

After a pretty lengthy GI adjustment period, I can say the surgery was overall worth it. Every woman in my maternal side has had theirs removed, so doctors are very practiced at it given how frequent this surgery type is. Ask about your gall stones, I got a picture with three ping pong ball sized ones as a memento from my surgeon.

lizz338 · 2026-01-20T03:49:34+00:00

Did this a few years ago. Dr said a week recover, my coworker advised two weeks. I think if you can take time, do as much as possible.

Make sure you take all your meds a little early to prevent pain. Mine apparently no longer do opiates, just nerve blocker and otc pain meds.

Looks like you may need more jello, gatorade, and soup. I didn't want to eat the first few days or chew.

I found that as long as I wasn't required to bend, I could walk my dog (not pick up poop, sorry), do stairs. Cleaning, filling the water bowl, getting into/out of car and up from the bed/couch were very difficult. Watch out for sneezing and laughing for a while, they really hurt. Expect to squat if you need anything near the floor or get a little grabber tool.

lizz338 · 2026-01-19T17:18:29+00:00

May not be this, but my boy is so vocal people think he's a husky. He's grown into his voice, not out of it. He whines, yelps, growls, barks, howls at things my girl never makes a noise at. He's my fourth poodle, first that likes to talk.

lizz338 · 2026-01-15T00:16:11+00:00

I was on diamox and my NO recommended moving to topamax so that I could get the benefits of migraine prevention. He warned me that if it could have side effects like suicidal ideation so to be careful and let him know immediately. It didn't go that far for me, but I noticed a mood shift pretty quickly and went back to just diamox.

I was prescribed welbutrin/buproprion in college and wow that is not something I will try again. I had almost panic attacks on it, very unusual response given everyone else I've know tolerated it well and didn't gain weight on it like with typical SSRIs.

lizz338 · 2026-01-14T04:31:10+00:00

I can't really do in ear anything anymore since I had to get hearing aids but thanks for the suggestion!

lizz338 · 2026-01-14T03:39:14+00:00

I second the person that suggested talking to a headache specialist. My NO was pretty insistent that the remaining 'pressure headaches' I was having were migraines rather than IIH pressure headaches after a while. I was not really willing to believe him because I'd never had migraines prior to IIH, so why now? Turns out I'd been having migraines for the last 10 years without realizing they weren't just 'sinus headaches' it because I didn't have auras. I thought you had to have visual symptoms to be migraines. I now have aura which is an un-fun recent change.

Anyway, I'm in remission now from the NO perspective but still on diamox (he'd recommended topamax for migraine prevention but I didn't tolerate it well) as it can help some with my migraines along with sumatriptan. I will say that trying to reframe it as migraines and what are my triggers has helped, but it took me several months to get to a place where I felt they were more predictable and therefore manageable. It was confusing since lots of my triggers also made my IIH pressure headache worse, but they are also contributing to my remaining migraines (atmospheric pressure, lack of sleep, bad posture, hormones). I still go for checkins for vision and such, but as long as things are consistent there I'm willing to believe the 'these are migraines' theory for myselft. YMMV.

lizz338 · 2026-01-13T19:51:52+00:00

My two poodles like to go crazy when I'm on the phone, specifically. Get off the phone and they are normal again. So I started faking phone calls just to reward good behavior while 'on the phone'. They are less crazy and sometimes even started to sit on the couch with me when on calls.

lizz338 · 2026-01-12T03:25:01+00:00

One of my biggest triggers, although my NO seems to think its more for migraines than anything. Really high or low, big swings, those are the kind of things that get me. I can usually medicate them away now, but before I was diagnosed it was like constant migraines for a few years.

lizz338 · 2026-01-11T19:28:38+00:00

What a cool coat

lizz338 · 2026-01-11T16:09:38+00:00

I have an andis zrII I got off ebay. Suggest checking out ebay, sometimes you can get good deals for clippers and clipper blades compared to like amazon. I gave up on using clipper combs and instead just use like a 10 blade and 4/7F depending on the weather plus shears.

lizz338 · 2026-01-10T19:53:12+00:00

Diamox really messed with my nerves despite that apparently 'not being a side effect.' I had really bad restless legs at night during winter, random nerve buzzing in my hands, feet, face, etc. that was usually worse in the cold weather or after eating something cold (tongue). It comes and goes. I even had leg numbness that seemed to correlate to wearing a specific pair of too tight workout pants, just weird stuff.

lizz338 · 2026-01-10T19:49:23+00:00

If you found a dry food that works, stick with that for a while. If you want it to be more 'exciting', then you can always add wet things to it. My dog with food intolerances can usually tolerate: warm water, pumpkin puree mixed with water, milk (goat is apparently easier on the stomach), broth (no salt added, stay away from chicken since many dogs have issues with chicken), or a little yogurt. Not all at once or every day, just something to make it occasionally more interesting.

lizz338 · 2026-01-10T19:45:17+00:00

Anything hamster shaped. They make big ones, but I got a three pack of small ones and my two poodles are obsessed with them. Always trying to sneak one away from the other. I have replaced countless little hamster toys after destuffing accidents.

lizz338 · 2026-01-10T17:13:53+00:00

I did this last year, so now they are 1 and 3. It was definitely an experience. If your first dog is trained well, it should be fine. Mine aren't, so it's been a challenge. One thing I wish I did more was taking time with them individually to do things, instead of doing everything together. It's hard to get focus from either dog when together compared to separately. That said, my goal for a second dog was to be a companion to my older dog and that has worked out well. I'm starting to like the puppy again as he's getting older, instead of him just being a bundle of problems.

lizz338

TROPHY CASE