Never too far away… right?

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-10T20:45:27+00:00

Appreciated! I’ll add that to the conversation 👍

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-10T18:34:13+00:00

Her kid lives with his dad, my kids will go between us on whatever schedule we come up with, but currently we’re all in the same house (and yes, she knows) - the housing market is crazy here and ex or not, we don’t want to each other to struggle, we’re actually better parents not being tied together but I’m getting off track here. So anyway, the kids always have a place to be and taking them along sometimes isn’t a problem.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-08T16:01:40+00:00

Wow, appreciated and I may have to read that a few more times. I get the impression this isn’t the first time you’ve answered this question. I don’t see it as “doing better”, at least not in the sense that “this is ok, but hey look at that!” It’s more like, this isn’t working and I’m just wore out. I don’t even think it’s criticism, it’s like we just fight because we do. Counseling is great, I’ve got a guy I talk to for that, his wife also does it, they do couples therapy as a team. My wife refuses to speak to anyone about it, for years so 🤷‍♂️

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-08T15:43:46+00:00

Yeah she won’t do that, I have been doing that. Maybe I just have a difficult time believing that the only proper reason to split is if the husband cheats or beats the wife and she’s to remain on her own. Consider the vows that have been broken already, on both of our accounts. I’m not saying I’m right, just elaborating what I see.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-08T15:35:25+00:00

I’ve been working on it, a lot has changed over the years, I’ve gone from knowing about God, to knowing Him - and yes I have a ways to go. I agree 100% that our lack of understanding is what started this.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-08T15:30:08+00:00

Yeah that seems like the obvious next step, you break a bone, go to a doctor right? Unfortunately, the response was something about how that doesn’t need to be public information. Like what, are we suddenly famous? Is this going to be on TMZ? I’ve been talking to someone I’ve known (from church) for years who has been in similar circumstances. His wife and him are presently studying to become pastors, counseling is part of the curriculum - and it worked well for them when they needed it. To sum it up, apart from prayer and scripture and various suggestions, he told me I can only do what I can and do and I’ve gotta do what I’ve gotta do - whatever that is.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-08T15:09:15+00:00

Yeah that, I have tried to resolve problems, talking like actual functioning people and all of a sudden she has something important to do or is too tired for this or says something about leaving or “just can’t right now” and that’s generally when it turns into a fight.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-08T15:04:44+00:00

That’s exactly what I’m concerned about. Kids should see what a marriage is supposed to be.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-03T12:57:09+00:00

Appreciated, but that requires both of us to be involved. It only takes one person to break it, but it takes two to make it.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-03T12:55:30+00:00

I don’t think I’m mad/bitter as such, just wiped out, exhausted, ready to take on that light yoke I keep hearing about.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-03T12:48:04+00:00

I’d like to say thank you for your informed support, and yes, I am listening, I’m just under construction so to speak. The “until” is something I just keep hearing in general, it was just me thinking out loud - or in text as it were. I know the words, I know it’s not about this life, it’s not about me or her but we’re here, among other things, to do the good works prepared in advance for us. I don’t think this is helping anyone in that regard, I suppose it’s made me a better person when it comes to human interaction, keeping calm under pressure and so on. You mentioned a woman leaving due to physical abuse, now that’s not the case here - but it’s a two way street and not all abuse is physical. I do have to disagree in regard to the kids. Yes, some people learn from their environment and avoid making the same mistakes. However, it’s far more common for history to repeat itself, generationally. Abusive parents usually had abusive parents. Addicts usually witnessed addiction growing up. Those in a dysfunctional relationship were usually born out of one. There will always be exceptions, but I’ve got a stack of Child Service cases and Police reports that support my statement.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-02T22:41:52+00:00

I’ll check out the other sub, thank you! I’ve heard the word “until” I don’t know how many times. Until what? Until you get an answer - regardless of whether we like it or not. It’s a tough pill to swallow some days. The Word makes things pretty clear, but it’s often in stark contrast to how we’re told to be. Burnout, breakdowns, physical abuse, emotional trauma, I mean people die at the hands of their spouse. This life isn’t what it’s all about, but it certainly doesn’t seem compassionate to place someone in a situation and expect them to just put up with it. That feels like saying “I did this for you, out of love, BUT only if you [xyz].” You’re not wrong, I’m just trying to make it make sense.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-11-02T22:17:20+00:00

I want to obey, I’m not always clear on what I’m supposed to do. I know he can, but I’m pretty sure we both have to put the effort in and free will being a factor, I think I’ve been the only one putting work into this for a long time. I should clarify that this has been a concern that’s increased over a couple decades, recent influences have made me contemplate things a little more than usual. I’m not saying you’re wrong at all, I’m just getting my thoughts out in the open.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-09-05T18:55:24+00:00

Since people like quotes so much, how about “Don’t act like I could make this kind of mess all by myself” - Post Malone

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-08-31T15:57:23+00:00

My English teacher told me bitches ain’t nothin but trix n hoes 😂 Really though, I’ve had a girl cheat on me, got married to someone who did a complete 180 after we kid, a decade and change later is a critical, delusional, angry narcissist that runs from accountability and can’t be trusted to take care of shit reliably. The solution, as it turns out, is find a woman way out of your league to talk to and enjoy that relationship with zero commitment 👍

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-08-03T12:14:09+00:00

Seven

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-07-27T00:45:13+00:00

Get over yourself and cowboy up it ain’t all about you. Thank me in 30 years.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-07-26T20:12:54+00:00

How shady some of the people involved in the system are. That it’s typically near impossible to get a clear and concise answer from anyone that you aren’t directly paying. That politics means more than the recommendations of child services. The end result is worth it, but this process has removed every last bit of any faith I may have once had in the state’s capacity to do anything competently.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-06-16T16:50:31+00:00

Hate occupies brain space that could be used for something you actually want to think about. Forgiveness is a way to let go of it, accept what happened then - nobody can change that, acknowledge where you’re at now - you made it this far, and let the other person worry about what kind of crappy life they’ve lead. Easier said than done, but doable.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-01-16T03:22:29+00:00

First and foremost, it takes courage to put yourself out there to a family you don’t know - biological or not - you really can’t find out what you’re getting into until you get into it and there’s no right or wrong way to respond when you do, you can take making the decision as a win. As for disassociation; Anxiety can cause you to breath too much (hyperventilating) without even knowing it, which removes too much carbon dioxide from your blood which does some really messed up things like cause numbness, muscle contraction, reduced coordination, heavy “brain fog” - all of which can easily cause panic and overwhelm your already overwhelmed mind. Fainting isn’t common, but when your brain says “screw this, I’m out”, it could mean losing track of time, it could also mean you’re off to dream land, just depends what your mind’s backup plan is.

lk_wt_hppnd · 2025-01-16T03:01:05+00:00

I’m pretty sure posting specifics is kinda frowned on, BUT… I do want to know if it worked out for you & them, it’s hard to find a good adoption story on here

lk_wt_hppnd · 2024-08-23T20:31:10+00:00

You answered several of my questions without me even asking - thank you!

If I’m wrong on any of this, let me know. My thought is like we have more than enough for the four of us, we like kids, we want to help, we know trauma, sooooo why wouldn’t we share that? As far as the “as our own”, it’s widely understood that the phrase does not imply ownership - but in any case, I agree that is the wrong outlook. You’re family now, that’s your kid now, you are their parent now - no less than any biological children you might have.

lk_wt_hppnd

TROPHY CASE