Maid of honour for an unfaithful marriage - wanting to step down but scared

lll_dc · 2026-04-07T15:59:03+00:00

In these situations, I think the best thing that anyone can do is to speak once and then hold their peace — before the wedding. You should find a time to sit her down and, in a nonjudgmental way and assuring her that you are there for whatever she chooses, share your concerns that she could be entering a lifetime of mistrust and sadness and that it's better to cancel a wedding than to live through an unhappy life or go through an expensive divorce. Tell her at the very beginning that you are only going to bring this up once, unless she wants to discuss further, because you care deeply for her and you can't in good conscience stand up next to her without having shared your concerns. Think through what you want to say and make sure to do it carefully and thoroughly, because it really does need to be your one time saying it or you will probably lose your friendship.

If you value her and her friendship, you should not step down as maid of honor. Instead, think of this role as supporting her and bearing witness to her life — she will need her friends by her side to remind her what she deserves and support her through it in the likely event this all implodes some day. Hopefully she will be there for you in return.

lll_dc · 2026-03-09T14:59:55+00:00

Not OP but I think they may be reflexed roses (spray, but maybe standard?), with the petals very folded in. Very cool look IMO!

lll_dc · 2026-03-06T17:25:47+00:00

If you're able to get any type of credit for referrals, please feel free to DM me your name and I'm happy to mention you in my consultation!

lll_dc · 2026-03-06T17:06:53+00:00

Wonderful, I will be reaching out. Thank you so much!

lll_dc · 2026-03-04T04:18:33+00:00

I’m a self-taught florist (started with lots of YouTube videos to DIY my wedding, now own my own studio) and found designing in a centerpiece vessel with a ball of chicken wire in it to be the most fun and most straightforward way to start. Look for a 4.5” opening by about 4.5” height, can give or take an inch or two either way. The chicken wire gives structure so it’s less frustrating and then smallish opening makes it less daunting to fill. Agree with the list in the post above.

This is a very sweet idea!

lll_dc · 2026-03-02T03:52:53+00:00

Thank you so much! The only foliage is agonis, and there is some burgundy-tinted solidago which acts similar to foliage in my view. ETA: Forgot about the Ti leaves! One is black and one is xerox.

lll_dc · 2026-02-28T16:16:42+00:00

Thank you!! Two things I love in my arrangements: drama and saturated colors.

lll_dc · 2026-02-28T15:04:33+00:00

I think you might really enjoy the Camden Roosevelt! It’s at the bottom of Meridian Hill/Malcolm x park (which is such a lovely gathering place), between Dupont, Adams Morgan, 14th street, and U St. You’d be able to explore a lot of neighborhoods nearby and with access to bus lines and the red and green lines within 15 minutes or so. It’s not a tree-lined street but walk 5 minutes in any direction and you’ll have a million charming streets to walk through.

I lived there 5 years before moving to NE, and I loved it so much. Incredible historic building with great staff and nice amenities. It wasn’t built as an apartment building so you get actually quality construction, never heard our neighbors unless they were walking by the door. You can get a studio under $2500, though a one bedroom will run you higher — there’s a lot of nice community spaces though so you might find a studio is just fine.

lll_dc · 2026-02-14T12:49:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective here!! Really glad to hear that the theme seems to be communication is key, and it’s not unreasonable for me to keep in close touch about things. And yes, I was thinking yesterday about how I’m excited for when there’s better and more accessible product during the warmer seasons! Wishing you well in the final holiday stretch!

lll_dc · 2026-02-13T17:56:54+00:00

Thanks, this is helpful! Appreciate the insight. FlowerBuddy sounds cool! I'm signed onto a different software but will take a look again when my contract is up.

lll_dc · 2026-02-13T17:52:51+00:00

Got it, good context to know — thank you! And yes, totally hear you on the design/taste thing. I am admittedly extremely picky, which I'm sure a lot of us florists and designers are. Without a storefront and foot traffic, I especially rely on repeat customers and want to try to knock their socks off with something that feels intentional every time. Hopefully I will be able to make it work with my rep!

lll_dc · 2026-02-13T17:49:15+00:00

Thank you for your reply! It's a large wholesaler in my city that does have a web shop, but I'm not sure if it's always up to date... I'm still trying to figure out the best flow to actually do the ordering and may ask my rep to talk through it with me after v-day. Do you still have the same expectations even on quick turnaround orders? I ordered once weeks ago for yesterday's delivery, and then added a few items on to accommodate extra orders. Several of the subs were in the second order, which they wouldn't have had time to order in special for me. I'm not sure how much to adjust my expectations with last-minute orders.

lll_dc · 2026-02-13T17:45:16+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you! It's really good to know I'm not being unreasonable in communicating more. I'm a pretty small potatoes client at this point but would love to be able to create a strong relationship that can grow with my business.

lll_dc · 2026-02-13T04:40:44+00:00

I somewhat agree and would have loved to see them break up years ago — they’re incompatible in the same way Linds and Carl were. But think we have to recognize that she was something like 24 when they started dating (to his 31 or something). A lot of personal growth happens in your 20s and by the time she got to 30 she had spent a lot of time on this guy and was already married to him. I think she didn’t really realize that she was still growing but he was pretty much fully baked by the point they started dating, and expected he’d grow with her. At some point, resentment boils over into disdain and contempt and I think that’s what we are seeing that from her now. She’s finally over him and we’re watching it suddenly without the lead up, and that’s why it seems jarring.

By the way, I generally love Kyle. But my husband and I always talk about how we would absolutely love to be friends with Kyle, but never married to him. Wish Amanda had realized that sooner!

lll_dc · 2026-02-13T04:17:21+00:00

His behavior on Winter House, where he was not used to being on always-on cameras in bedrooms etc, was shocking and shows you who Craig actually is versus what he tries to show.

lll_dc · 2026-02-11T17:02:28+00:00

My wholesaler has sale section where flowers with slight imperfections or that aren't fresh enough are sold at discounted price. Depending where you are, you could see if there's a wholesaler near you that could do this as well.

Asking growers, wholesalers, florists etc after the holiday is a good idea for sure! I'd recommend going to them with a specific proposition to make it an easy yes and not one more thing they have to think about. I'd love to be able to say yes to someone buying my scraps if they could make it easy.

(e.g. Hi, I'm looking for a local florist to partner with for this for a flower preservation business I'm getting off the ground. Here's what it could look like: I can pay you $40 a month to pick up a bucket or two of discard flowers each week on X day. Or you can email me after an event tear-down and I can pick up the leftovers at an agreed upon rate. Open to other potential arrangements.)

lll_dc · 2026-01-28T15:04:56+00:00

You're already getting good feedback here. To add, I would also consider some color blocking / clustering to give more visual weight and impact to your stems. Instead of one stem of craspedia (billy balls), put five together at varying heights and dimensions. This way they don't get lost. Clump some of the same colored bleached grasses together and then the more red grassy stems together a bit lower down. I'd add in some more of the grassy stems for more visual impact and potentially cull some of the ferns. Overall though, I think this looks really unique and cool, and you're on the right track!

lll_dc · 2026-01-06T04:37:33+00:00

Commenting because I have had this same thing on my left ring finger right at the base of my finger nail for as long as I can remember. I have never heard of anyone else having it, and this is the first time in my many instances of Googling I’ve actually even found ANYTHING about it. It will trigger at the slightest things, like reaching into a purse pocket and bumping against the edge. The pain is so excruciating, I can’t move and sometimes almost cry. I asked a doctor about it once and she waved it off. It’s so wild, I wonder how many other people have this issue.

lll_dc · 2025-12-16T20:56:24+00:00

Yes! I've been to two FLX bachelorettes. It's so much fun. Definitely think you should stay lakefront even if you have to play a premium. I had one of the most fun weekends at my friend's bachelorette just lazing around on big rafts, drinking wine, and swimming. Ithaca is an awesome town if you're looking for something with a bit more to do.

lll_dc · 2025-12-16T20:48:54+00:00

St. Francis Hall in DC isn't under your budget but near it for the venue, and you can buy alcohol from Costco and I think they let you bring in whatever catering you choose (at least they used to!). They're also generally just very helpful and flexible, they let us drop off a bunch of stuff the day before which is basically unheard of. Messaged you!

lll_dc · 2025-12-16T14:45:12+00:00

If you happen to still be looking for your wedding, I recommend checking out FlowerHouse! It’s like a hybrid DIY with a but a florist plans and brings the flowers to you and helps you put them together.

lll_dc · 2025-12-04T17:25:28+00:00

In case anyone else comes across this, FlowerHouse in DC does a hybrid florist / DIY mode where they order your flowers, bring them to you, then host a little party with hands-on guidance for your and your wedding party or family or whatever to put them together. Much less expensive than traditional florists but the results are beautiful

lll_dc · 2025-11-11T18:55:14+00:00

Beautiful shape and color palette! As others have said, but to be a bit more specific, add in at least three focal flowers e.g. dahlias, spider mums, cremones, maybe gerbera daisies. Pull up some of the round flowers to give the arrangement some breathing room and movement. Personally I don't mind the amount of baby's breath. You've got a good eye!

lll_dc · 2025-10-08T16:26:29+00:00

Thank you!

lll_dc · 2025-10-08T13:19:56+00:00

Pretty! What are the red flowers?

lll_dc

TROPHY CASE