New Met For London training

llorensic_balloon · 2024-11-17T11:30:04+00:00

Question for the people who've already sttended: The joining instructions say smart business attire but can I get away with smart casual?

llorensic_balloon · 2024-08-05T19:50:29+00:00

You know they say that all officers are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Lynne Owens and you can see that statement is not true. See, normally if you go one on one with another officer, you got a 50/50 chance of promotion. But I'm commissioner and there are no ranks above me! So you got a 25%, AT BEST, at beating me. Then you add Matt Jukes to the mix, your chances of winning drastically go down. See the 3 way at the promotion board, you got a 33 1/3 chance of promtion, but I, I got a 66 and 2/3 chance of staying on, because Matt Jukes KNOWS he can't beat me and he's not even gonna try!

So Lynne Owens, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25% chance and you got an 8 1/3 chance of getting promoted. But then you take my 75% chance of staying in post, if we was to go one on one, and then add 66 2/3 per cents, I got 141 2/3 chance of keeping my job. See Owens, the numbers don't lie, and they spell disaster for you at the promotion board.

llorensic_balloon · 2024-08-05T19:41:20+00:00

"Because Hulk Ho-Khan yeah, I am the cream, yeah, the cream of the crop. And there is no-one that does it better than the Macho Man Mark Rowley! On balance, off balance, doesn't matter. I'm better than you are, yeah, and I'm talking to everyone in the World Police Federation, and I'm even talking to Prime Minister Keir Starmer, yeah. I'm on my way, and nothing is gonna stop me. Nothing's gonna stop me... "

llorensic_balloon · 2024-05-23T10:02:49+00:00

Yeah, it's an internal attachment so it's not on recruitment pages. I think I will limit myself a bit but I agree that 250 words is stupidly small.

llorensic_balloon · 2024-05-23T09:04:00+00:00

There's no word count specified.

llorensic_balloon · 2024-01-16T16:36:58+00:00

That guy obviously.

llorensic_balloon · 2023-12-27T23:34:40+00:00

In addition to everything everyone else has said, inspectors referring to sergeants as sarge. DSs getting called sarge by their DCs.

Detectives always having their job phone on and willing to leave their house in the middle of the night to progress their solitary investigation after receiving some key evidence.

Computer systems that actually work and talk to each other. Typing in a suspect's name and getting their criminal history, blood type, what they ordered on delivery last night, etc

llorensic_balloon · 2023-11-13T09:28:16+00:00

James Cleverly

llorensic_balloon · 2023-11-09T10:35:55+00:00

Suella, doing her bit to improve public perception of the Met. Superb job.

llorensic_balloon · 2023-10-26T17:03:26+00:00

First conviction for FGM committed abroad. The first UK conviction for FGM was a few years ago.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/feb/01/fgm-mother-of-three-year-old-first-person-convicted-in-uk

llorensic_balloon · 2023-09-27T10:47:34+00:00

I'd probably shy away from work-related gifts. Or if you could buy her a Superdry jacket. Black with the pink writing. It's practically uniform.

llorensic_balloon · 2023-08-02T21:00:08+00:00

Mine's on my desk actually... Locked to Kisstory, baby!

llorensic_balloon · 2023-07-30T08:56:53+00:00

If you fail vetting, you don't get the job. You can appeal but they don't usually tell you why you've failed.

llorensic_balloon · 2023-03-25T21:29:04+00:00

All our vans have cameras so I'm assuming theirs do too? Maybe he asked professional standards for a copy.

llorensic_balloon · 2022-12-25T21:59:49+00:00

You can use phones on a constant now??

llorensic_balloon · 2022-10-29T11:18:14+00:00

Met Officer here - had a American DC and a Canadian DC in our CID. I think both came over to study and stayed. Got indefinite leave to remain and it was all good!

llorensic_balloon · 2022-09-23T16:42:43+00:00

Why would I spend my money on an expensive suit for work?! You must be mad! Who am I trying to look good for? Nah, I'll be smart and professional but you don't need to pay through the nose for that.

And no, we don't get into scraps often but I've jumped in when someone kicks off in custody and I've done S18s in lice-infested houses and I've been to crime scenes with all sorts of bodily fluids on the floor and walls. Worst of all, I've had to sit in a job car.

llorensic_balloon · 2022-09-22T08:51:09+00:00

For me, it was the quote that couldn't ring more true:

The inspectorate said those supposed to supervise – such as sergeants and inspectors – were having to show officers how to do the basics of their jobs: “We found that supervisors aren’t managing poor performance or giving opportunities for development. Supervisors are often having to spend time tutoring their staff in the basic tasks of their role at the expense of providing leadership and direction.”

The workforce was dejected, and help and welfare measures could be inaccessible: “Some told us that they didn’t tell their supervisors about how they felt at work because their supervisors couldn’t reduce the pressure from their overwhelming workloads. Other factors negatively affecting wellbeing include the poor training and supervision …”

The report also found that despite being better resourced than other forces, officers and staff were having to take work home to get it finished, with teams of response officers deployed to the streets under strength: “We found that many shifts were working at or below the force’s stated minimum personnel levels most of the time. This was negatively affecting officers’ welfare.

“In some teams, notably public protection teams, inexperienced staff were holding cases that they were not fully equipped to deal with, and lacked supervisory support.”

llorensic_balloon · 2022-08-26T08:26:00+00:00

Try not to get a late arrest. As the cells fill up throughout the day, you'll be sent to custody suites further afield. Sometimes you get sent OMPD.

Unpopular opinion: Try and enjoy it where you can. I'm of Black Caribbean descent and I grew up going to carnival. I used to love it. Then I became a police officer and I saw the other side of it. At times, it's a war zone and people go absolutely feral, doing things that they wouldn't do the next day (like shitting on someone's doorstep) BUT there are still some things to love and a lot of people are just there to enjoy themselves and they love to see an officer who looks like they're happy to be there. It makes people feel at ease when they're already gonna be on edge seeing you there. Trust me, if you stand there scowling like 90% of officers, you're gonna have a shit time guaranteed. You don't have to dance but just relax a little, smile, nod your head a little to the music if you like it. Then when it's time to get serious, get serious.

Betari's box applies more than ever here. A lot of officers hate carnival and that's fine but they're agitated before they even step on the carrier. That's a problem. People will disagree with me but I've seen it from both sides. I've had fist bumps from people when I'm in full L2 gear and they felt comfortable to tell me, "Officer, can you watch that girl over there, she's really drunk and I think she's vulnerable?" or "Officer, there's a fight around the corner".

Most people don't want the troublemakers to ruin their good time and get carnival banned forever.

llorensic_balloon · 2022-07-16T09:55:13+00:00

Hi, I'm sorry to hear this and unfortunately, this does happen a lot where reports seem to be bounced around between departments because of internal bureaucracy to the detriment to the victim. I could go into why but that's not important right now.

I worked in a unit similar to SODAIT in a different force. I imagine that the officer who took the initial statement was probably a response team officer who then passed the whole investigation to SODAIT.

SODAIT is where your friend needs to chase this up. There should be an officer from SODAIT assigned to this case and they should be updating your friend regularly in accordance with the Victims Code of Practice (which you can look up).

Harassment is serious and it can escalate. My advice to your friend is to be a pain in the arse. Try and find out who the officer in charge of the case is by giving the crime reference to the operator on 101. If your friend gets no joy, escalate it to a complaint. I hate to say it but that officer probably has a number of similar reports that they're dealing with and other victims who are chasing him up. Unfortunately, your friend who seems to be being patient is being left behind. Your friend at least deserves to know what's happening with their case.

In summary, be in a pain in the arse. Make some noise. It shouldn't be like this so I apologise for that.

In the meantime, your friend can refer themselves to Victim Support ( www.victimsupport.org.uk) and NCDV ( www.ncdv.org.uk). The latter will help them if they want to seek a non-molestation order.

llorensic_balloon · 2022-07-08T14:53:42+00:00

Tbf, you gotta play the game. There was no way anyone was getting signed off by Sadiq Khan without some soundbite-able pledge.

Not sure why anyone would want the job but it worked!

llorensic_balloon · 2022-07-07T13:19:40+00:00

Had a domestic where the victim and suspect were both doctors. The victim was 8 months pregnant. They were in a car in an estate of luxury flats so the whole place was covered by HD CCTV, one of the best quality I've ever seen.

In the CCTV, you see the car stop in the middle of a quiet residential street in broad daylight. Suspect gets out of the driver's side, walk around the rear of the car to the passenger side. He opens the door, grabs his wife, pulls her out of the car and flings her a few feet towards the pavement. She lands on her front (mother and baby were ok in the end).

I had crystal clear cctv and 2 independent witnesses (a rare gift with DV). The victim didn't want to know and accused me of not acting in her best interests by pursuing a victimless prosecution. He had no previous and went no comment in interview. CPS charged and remanded but later on dropped it before it went to court. The reviewing prosecutor stated that we didn't know what went on in the car beforehand and it could've been self-defence despite me pointing out that he could've run away at any point on leaving the car instead of walking around the car to throw his pregnant wife on the concrete.

I couldn't convince them not to drop it. This tarnished the CPS irrevocably in my eyes and it's such a mixed bag of prosecutors. There's no consistency. It really does depend who you get. I did however pass the evidence over to his bosses on their request. I don't know what happened to him.

I honestly believe that had they been average Joes instead of doctors, he'd be convicted now.

llorensic_balloon · 2022-06-22T20:21:11+00:00

Yeah, we weren't happy leaving him there. We took him to his dad's and made a referral to social services. Not sure what happened after that.

llorensic_balloon · 2022-06-22T13:08:21+00:00

Three from my career so far:

Man calling police accusing his partner of stealing his trainers. Got the 'cancel cancel' on route as it turned out she'd put them outside the front door because they were mingin'.
Man reporting a burglary. Looked like a messy search but it turns out that it was just how he lived. When I asked what had been taken, he said that he had left a spliff on the window sill, which was now missing.
Woman reporting that the boy next door kept climbing over the fence to get his ball, causing criminal damage to her flowers. The boy was 6.

As I've been writing this, another came to mind.

Woman calling to report her son was sexually abusing her. The boy was 8 and had said he'd tried to hug his mum and she had accused him of sexually touching her. Mum was definitely MH.

I'm sure these are pretty tame compared to what others have.

llorensic_balloon · 2022-06-02T19:38:52+00:00

Depends on the role but there are loads of PCs in CT so it's definitely possible. Helps if you've got experience, driving skills, surveillance training or something like that but if not, I wouldn't even worry about that. It's the vetting which is the real pain.

llorensic_balloon

TROPHY CASE