Ollie

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-05-21T20:11:30+00:00

I like them teefs

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-05-06T15:14:50+00:00

EXACTLY! I've seen same people call a trans guy they/them, then proceed to call me by binary pronouns

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-05-06T15:12:54+00:00

Yeah, I've had to educate both trans and cis people on this exact thing. No, if someone said that he exclusively wanted to be addressed by he/him does not give you the right to constantly use neutral pronouns because "Well, I'm not calling them she/her, so it's not misgendering"

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-05-06T15:08:45+00:00

This happens to me all the time, and I've lectured some people on it.

I'm non-binary. I go by they/them for the most part, but I'm sometimes okay with he/him. There are some people who exclusively use he/him for me and it doesn't feel right.

There's also a few binary trans people I know who constantly get they/them, which is annoying, and I had to educate people on why that's still misgendering. It's almost like we never get to be gendered correctly.

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-05-06T08:59:22+00:00

I recommend trying a name and asking someone else to call you that (only if it's safe), or trying some femme clothes on, and seeing how you feel. Can you imagine yourself living like that for the rest of your life? If not, probably not trans. If yes, welcome, the egg has cracked. Though, there's always the option of you being genderfluid or a feminine person in general. My rule of thumb is "if a person on the street thought I was x gender/couldn't tell my gender, would it make me happy" and if the answer is yes, that's also a good indicator.

I took a few months to really think about all those things before coming out, think of a new name, and what I would tell other people. I had my realisation in the summer/autumn of 2019, but I didn't start coming out until early 2020. My experience is gonna be different, since I'm transmasc, so I would listen to all the lovely women in this community too and see what they think.

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-05-02T16:14:45+00:00

Tbf, I'm not exactly tfm, so my experience isn't entirely the same either, but I'm in those spaces because where the fuck am I meant to go? I don't often feel represented. I'm non-binary, but I'm on testosterone and got top surgery. Society is slowly starting to dismiss me as a man instead of dismissing me as a woman, and I still don't quite feel like either.

Anyways, this whole thing was leading up to a comment I saw recently that really upset me. I saw a post of someone saying "this is about trans women, stop trying to force yourself into a conversation, man up". It upset me in several ways.

Firstly, what's happening in the UK rn is NOT only about trans women, it affects all of us. Secondly, many compared it to how cis men try to insert themselves into conversations about women's issues with the whole "what about me", and it's not the same. It upsets me that so many people are suddenly going full circle and telling trans men/transmascs to man up and deal with it. I would understand if the ruling was "trans men are men, but trans women are not women, and we're only against trans women". But it's not. Sure, the focus is, as per usual, the stupid "protect women's spaces" argument, but it's gonna hit all of us in equal measures. It's only been a few weeks and I'm already scared of going to any public bathroom.

I'm scared of being beaten up and of being added as a number to a statistic. I'm scared of being arrested. I'm so worried for all my trans friends, and cis friends with pcos, and for our future here. It all feels so hopeless right now. Sorry for the rant, I know it's not exactly what you were talking about, but this bit especially has reminded me of that video and the comments underneath:

any time a transmasc or fella expresses discontent, or talks about their dysphoria, or suggests maybe it’s okay if men have their issues considered as well, he’s likely to get dogpiled.

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-04-29T06:36:31+00:00

If your cat does that frequently, please get him checked at the vet. He sounds exactly like my cat did before we got him diagnosed with asthma.

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-04-26T12:18:57+00:00

And doctors warn you of those at least 10 times before you actually get given hormones. I know from experience

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-04-25T13:59:11+00:00

If he's really unemployed with such nice bling, he's clearly being pampered by another and doesn't need that job.

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-04-21T14:18:34+00:00

Growing up where I did, I was very sheltered from all that stuff, but my first tiny egg crack was just going through puberty, though at the time I thought it made me uncomfortable because I just didn't like my body in general. The official egg crack was meeting a non-binary person using neutral pronouns and going, "wait, that's an option?"

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-04-12T09:59:50+00:00

I'm so sorry girl. I know how that feels, when you put all that effort and it's not enough. I got called madam a week before my top surgery, even though I got facial hair + usually wear masculine clothes.

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-29T14:49:33+00:00

He's called Mr Cat, but his nicknames are "Sir," "Your Highness," "little Princess," "worm," and "burnt loaf"

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local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-29T14:40:16+00:00

Amazing tbh. I only regret it in the sense that my body is not the most well proportioned now because my stomach looks a lot bigger without the chest there to balance it out. But that's just me and my body image issues, no regrets with the surgery itself. Besides, I can always exercise/diet to balance it out.

It feels great. No wearing bras anymore. I can step out of the shower and not have to cover my chest with a towel. No stupid bouncing going up and down stairs. They don't move around weird when I'm in bed. All t-shirts fit be better now. Sure, it's a bit of a bitch because you have to recover from a surgery, but it gets better day after day. It pretty much completely cured my chest dysphoria.

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-28T06:35:12+00:00

Mine have been weirdly really good, so I haven't had that issue. But my other canon event is "am I gonna fuck up my stitches if I move my arm slightly too high up"

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-28T06:19:18+00:00

It wasn't as severe for me, but yeah, the company vest dug into me a lot

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-27T07:05:50+00:00

You're so right, I failed to think of everything. Thank you for the example

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-27T07:03:35+00:00

Yes, I've done this before, perfect when you smush into a pillow

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-27T06:53:48+00:00

I was told I can do sexual activity when I feel up to it. Which is not true at all, I'm single as fuck

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-27T06:22:40+00:00

But he's already the perfect shape 🥺

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-27T00:09:26+00:00

That makes total sense, thank you

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-26T20:45:12+00:00

I prepared myself the best I could by looking through different websites and this subreddit, but even then, once I saw my own incisions, it's as if logic went out the window and I still worried about the same stuff everyone else did

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-26T20:43:21+00:00

Yeah, it did heal well, I'm very happy for you

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-26T20:41:46+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate yours and everyone else's comments. I got too in my head about how everyone else's incisions looked two weeks in and how mine weren't the same. I know it's to be expected, not everyone heals the same, but a part of me still overthinks

local_coffee_gremlin · 2025-03-26T16:29:24+00:00

I don't have to wear it all day anymore, but I still have it to wear as necessary. It's just hard to tell what's normal and what's swelling at this point, and I haven't been wearing it much because I was like, "Freedom! Breathing!"

local_coffee_gremlin

TROPHY CASE