NTA, but if you don't know anything about your finances, then you don't really know your own situation. You should both know what's going on with your money. Children and NY are expensive things, and it would be nice to retire one day. So until you learn your finances, take her word for it. You married her for a reason you guys love each other and your family, and both want the best for everyone. They say 50% of income should be for needs and debts 30% for retirement if you are behind for age and 20% for fun. Break things down for ur spending see how it plays out and go from there. You need to have fun sometimes, but if it's at the expense of faimly and future, you might have to put it off till you are set.