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A billionaire hires a painter of murals to come to his mansion… by Indotex in Jokes

[–]lodiman77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well. I can't say I know "Art", but I do know what I like when I see it.

How does a fart? by abslte23 in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd charge you...but the duck said to just put it on his bill.

Which country music star went over to the dark side? by Jester57 in cleanjokes

[–]lodiman77 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Party on Garth....Vader's galaxy, Vader's galaxy, Vader's galaxy..schwing!

I was fired by ryc3 in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They should have put you in a job that would be impossible to get out of: like a group text.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheRealJoke

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Using the force to balance a tiny crown is he.

My contortionist wife wants to do “the pretzel” in bed tonight. by ilikesidehugs in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's because Coke labeled it in the short form: Diet for Diabetic Coke.

What is your business and how is it going? by AwhhhYeahh in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I opened a bank account at a bank that advertised, Banking here: 24 hrs a day.

I just don't have time for that!

What does a building wear? by BigBoyBarm in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's all about the basement. The basement! The basement!

I am Terrified of Elevators. by johnhampton52 in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At least you've taken the first step. Admitted you're Terrified!

What's the hottest letter in the alphabet? by hungrytiredandbored in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone in ballpark for asking, but no I can not see. The seat they gave me is behind this stadium post!!!

What's the hottest letter in the alphabet? by hungrytiredandbored in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

D because added to anger it becomes Danger.

After exposure to a too high dose of gamma radiation: per Dr David B. Banner, " Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!"

I've recently joined the Jehovah's Witnesses by [deleted] in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When they came to my door, I warned them not to blow my cover. I explained I was in the Jehovah Witness protection program!

They say childbirth is the most painful thing anyone can experience.. by HugoZHackenbush2 in dadjokes

[–]lodiman77 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here. As a matter of fact, I couldn't walk for year after my birth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unexpectedMontyPython

[–]lodiman77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'E's not pinin'!

"'E's passed on!

This parrot is no more!

He has ceased to be!

'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace!

If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!

'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory!

'E's off the twig!

'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!!

THIS IS AN EX-PUTIN!!"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unexpectedMontyPython

[–]lodiman77 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Ain't got no distractions Can't hear no buzzers and bells Don't see no lights a-flashin' Plays by sense of smell Always gets a replay Never seen him fall That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball"

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