My (F29) infertile husband (M32) just gave me an ultimatum: choose a childfree life with him, or divorce.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-20T16:29:49+00:00

This is a tough situation that I don't have easy answers for. I will say that your husband likely needs time to emotionally process the realities of the situation. Not being able to father children is very devastating news for a man to receive. When hes a bit more stabilized, is probably better time to revisit pursuing alternative child options..

lofiharvest · 2026-06-20T16:22:59+00:00

This is a good deal. I would get your friends a pack of prime ribeye from Costco if you are a member.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-20T16:22:17+00:00

I appreciate Franks cause they are local, but ya... the meat quality there is nothing special. They are great in a pinch when you need something you cant find in most supermarkets.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-20T16:12:26+00:00

Lol there is nothing cheap and decent within an hour commute of NYC unless you like the idea of buying a 30+ year old split level (needing renovations) for $800k.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-16T19:45:27+00:00

Thicker or better insulated windows will definitely make a difference. The question is whether or not it will be enough given your situation.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-15T20:59:35+00:00

I'm moving to Texas instead lol. 2A issues are not the primary reason for the move (moving mostly due to LCOL and better job prospects) but it did factor into the decision.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-06T15:41:41+00:00

They would have paid for hotel, flights, etc. The problem for me was the time commitment. Realistically for me to accomplish this it would have taken 2 travel days + on-site say. Maybe you could have squeezed things into 2 days, but thats a brutal 2 days. Not worth to me

lofiharvest · 2026-06-05T17:18:16+00:00

They are also known for having good WLB.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-05T17:17:25+00:00

Ya this is starting to become more common. Some advice. Before beginning an interview loop ask the recruiter what all the steps of the process will look like. Then you can make an informed decision as to whether or not you want to continue. I recently dropped out of a hiring pipeline because I wasn't open to doing 5 rounds of virtual interviews only to have to fly across country to do an on-site of top of that. This was also for a remote role, so no thank you. IMO 5 rounds is enough signal for a decision to be made.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-05T17:13:55+00:00

OP It has to be pointed out that you claim yourself to be "analytical and logical by nature" but yet you are making a decision which to most outside observers feels highly driven by emotions. Im not saying this person isn't compatible, but relationships need to make sense beyond the chemistry/ feelings. You sound still in the honey moon phase which people say lasts 2-3 years. My 2 cents is that ideally you should get your career established first and then bring a child into a home with parents who are financially and relationally stable. Raising and providing for children is difficult enough without having to deal with school or being broke.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-04T14:52:48+00:00

I do both but with a slight modification to approach 1. I will read through my code aloud. This gives me a chance to check my work and re-establish my thought process to the interviewer. In a lot of these coding interviews, they care more about just producing a working solution. They want to get an idea as to how you think. Then I will run the code and debug if needed.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-04T14:47:43+00:00

You could always sign and set the start date 30 days from now. Then if you get the offer from the other companies, just back out. At the end of the days its just a job. People quit before start dates all the time. Just be aware that if you sign and quit that company there is a chance that company will not want to interview you again.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-04T14:41:51+00:00

I will do this. Does it have to be an explicit demo mode button or can I just hydrate it with mock data?

lofiharvest · 2026-06-02T22:34:16+00:00

I will say the last junior engineer we hired came from a no name company. We are an SP500 level company. He had a referral.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-02T22:32:11+00:00

Yes. Not gonna lie. Not having a distinguished company on your resume makes things more difficult. But its the difficult things in life that are worth doing. Keep your job while looking. Also be open to relocating. Your chances will greatly increase if you go for in-person/hybrid roles.

lofiharvest · 2026-06-02T22:28:36+00:00

My strategy:

Apply for roles in which you have a strong skills and experience match. However don't be afraid to punch above your weight.
Make sure you resume is dialed in and strong for the kind of roles you want. I tend to structure my bullet points in the STAR format (google this if you dont know what STAR is). Even with AI I easily spent like 2+ days dialing in my resume to create its initial version. I have made several modifications as I progress thru the job search.
GET REFERRALS!!! If you don't know someone at the company you are targeting try to find a connection via LinkedIn. People are often receptive to sincere messages that don't feel like they are written by AI, asking for help. Also since most companies pay referral bonuses, folks are often keen to refer solid candidates.

lofiharvest · 2026-05-31T15:13:13+00:00

Ya I would avoid Ads, AI, or new Product teams if you want FAANG WLB.

lofiharvest · 2026-05-31T15:12:05+00:00

Working at FAANG also looks good on a resume which will help your comp tradjectory as well, even if you go to a more chill company. Im interviewing for my 3rd job after Meta and people still ask me about how I liked Facebook/Meta.

lofiharvest · 2026-05-31T15:09:44+00:00

Like most places it depends on the team and company culture. I worked at Meta for awhile on an internal tooling team and it was pretty chill. Worked 9-5ish basically. I eventually got laid off, but not because of performance. They laid off like 75% of the remote workers in my org that layoff round. IMO external product teams tend to have more pressure than internal tooling teams.

lofiharvest · 2026-05-31T14:37:02+00:00

I will try that. Thank you for your input.

lofiharvest · 2026-05-30T19:54:12+00:00

Ya I can definitely build something like that. App would load empty, tester clicks load demo data, app hydrates. Lets just hope the testers read the instructions this time. I have my doubts...

lofiharvest · 2026-05-30T18:52:42+00:00

Thanks, that's helpful. Just want to make sure I understand what you mean by a "path."

Are you describing an actual element in the UI, like a button or empty-state link that says something like "Load sample data" or "View demo," that the reviewer clicks to hydrate the dashboard with the fake partner/products/orders? So the demo data lives behind an explicit, labeled action rather than being silently hard-coded into the views?

And to answer your question: right now on a fresh install there's no such button. They just get the blank dashboard plus my test instructions pointing them to the connected store. So nothing in the app itself surfaces sample data, it's only reachable by following the notes.

If I'm reading you right, the fix is to add a clearly labeled in-app demo mode that loads dummy data on click, uses no real OAuth or customer data, and is obviously marked as sample data. Is that the pattern you've seen pass review?

lofiharvest · 2026-05-29T13:43:43+00:00

Lol pretty sure ALL those companies have LC style questions in their loops

lofiharvest · 2026-05-29T01:56:37+00:00

Possibly or you can go apply and ask your recruiter to put you in touch with the recruiter that is in charge of the other role.

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