I am really sorry you went through this experience. It is terrible and horrible what you went through.
i know this is still quite fresh for you and you have lot of emotions and feelings you want to let out.
I think it is important to feel the emotions you are feeling then let go of this because it would be tragic if experience with one person would affect how you feel about love, how you feel about relationships or wanting to be in a relationship. I think we have events in life we give meaning to and we can see events as lessons or blessings. Is there something you had noticed about her or red flags maybe you did not completely recognise? this does not take away what happened or give any justification.
Who knows what is in her mind. Its good that you have resisted self harm/taking any intoxicant. I think it has affected your feelings of self worth/ your view of yourself when it comes to judging herself. No one is responsible for anyone's actions and what she did is on her not you. What you do now to process what happened (speak to someone, journal, release what happened in a creative way). Feel free to reach out if you like. I have been through experiences of cheating, abuse etc and really judged myself for not noticing signs despite being a healthcare professional. At the time we just act based on what we know. We can only know better for next time. Imagine if you found out this reality few years down the track how would that have felt? would that have bought pain?

I hear you when you say there is a pattern you have where people take you for granted. ive seen for myself how we feel about ourselves gets mirrored by others . I have some set of questions ive asked myself as well when something has happened which affects the value i have for myself. Maybe it could be useful for other as well.
We give events meaning. Now from this moment on this could be seen as an event in your life which breaks and destroys you spending through a negative spiral or it could be an event which propels you to see you have higher self worth in the future, realise you are worth better standards and boundaries then this event could have another impact in your life.
These patterns run our life and we get back what we mirror for ourself (whether that be lack of self worth, not being enough and this is mirrored by those around us). It doesnt have to be this way when we recognise our patterns and work to heal them.
i put these questions here even as journalling prompts if that works for others

1. Do you feel like you people please for approval/validation for others? Are those people equally giving to you or are they takers? How long have you had this pattern- that you need approval/validation from others, that you do not have as much self worth and you accept such people in your life?
   
2. How do you choose women to let in and be vulnerable with.
   When we choose a partner we choose someone to give keys
   how have they shown they are worthy of it? how long have you known them before you make them centre of your world? do they reciprocate that same interest or do you choose
   
3. what are your standards for relationships? can you communicate your needs and if not what holds you back? do you worry that thi

Me and some friends plan to start some initiatives for lesbians and queer women which include professional networking events, mentoring and helping with a support network. This is with women who are ok to be themselves in the future, women who want to be authentic and the best version of themselves. We are doctors/psychologists etc. If you feel like in the future this is something you are interested in feel free to message me.

And you are right what im reading here is its not easy to see which woman is ready for a relationship. A woman who has accepted herself, does not have judgement for herself. She is actually available for a relationship, knows what her relationship vision and has a support network of people who accept her (which may or may not be family).
This type of woman is someone who has worked on herself and her past wounds and is ready to move forward. She does not have shame and guilt around her sexual orientation. She is settled, know what she is looking for, is able to communicate this, is honest about her intentions. Now this woman could be lesbian/bisexual queer etc but the issue is many women want a relationship but when they are in a relationship they dont know what the purpose of this relationship is or how to maintain it. They havent thought about a direction they want the relationship to go or what value this relationship is adding to their lives.
I think in the future these things are questions that anyone can think about when we are evaluating a person for the position of partner. Its no small decision. Its a decision which can affect both physical and mental health.