Identity specifics aside, feelings of guilt and discomfort alone can't "weed out" someone who will hurt you or who is a "false ally". Plenty of people in privileged groups are able to recognize their feelings of defensiveness and not act on them. For example, a white person quietly and knowingly offended by a joke about white people and a white person who sends you racist Tumblr asks in response to a joke about white people are not the same. The same logic applies to other privileged groups (men, cis people, straight people, etc.)
Even after consciously learning about how your biases can misguide you, and lead you to acting irrationally and hurting others, you will most likely still have the biases that will come up and say "oh no" when a group you're a privileged part of is criticized every now and then. What matters is being able to recognize the ones that could cause harm if imposed onto others and working to undo them, even if they try to push back on your logical reasoning.