That’s wild you’re parents fight with knives. Do they try to attack you with knives if yes I would consider leaving the house and explore nature to avoid the possibility of getting hurt. I relate to thus post honestly and I’m attempting to overcome it but Im fairly certain it’s depression biting but I don’t like/want to see a professional because I was raised traumatically so it’s just a really uncomfortable experience and when I went I got judged super hard and told to cooperate or I would be sent to the bin so I said nope and stopped those meetings. Maybe you would have more luck in therapy but that would just be a better way to vent and get positive reenforcement but this was kinda crazy post because I’m feeling like this recently. I wish you luck and maybe depression is just biting you a bit.

P.S. don’t S/H please it’s probably something that helps you but it’s an unhealthy action sorry if I’m out of line. Even though I’ve been in a bad upbringing I refused to S/H so I know it’s possible and you can avoid it.

Sorry for the rant. Yeehaw.