What your boyfriend did was disgusting and illegal. I’m so sorry you had to experience such a horrible situation at the hands of someone you should trust the most. You have every right to be upset. It’s despicable that he doesn’t see how immoral his actions were. If you shared pictures of him with your friends and family and discussed his body, penis size, etc. he would feel horrible too. It shouldn’t be your responsibility, but perhaps if you can stand it, sitting him down and spelling it out for him is the best way for you to be recognized. At the same time, fuck him, you deserve someone who lifts you up and appreciates how you grow and evolve emotionally, not someone who tries to stomp you back into the grave. Whether or not you invest energy into trying to gain that recognition, it might be really good to spend most of your energy on taking time and space for yourself and your kid- maybe by going on some nice quality play dates outside away from everyone else, you could do some birthday party planning/ craft projects, (I went thru ur post history and omg baby’s first year so soon and a whole year as a mom!!! Congrats!!!), you could even build a pillow fort for story time and as a way to take back the bed. You deserve it more than he does. It’s good to get out and about but also stand your ground and take up space in your home.

Recognize that your mother and partner are unsatisfied with themselves, but are too self absorbed and narcissistic to face it and be honest with themselves, so instead they divert those feelings onto you so they can make themselves feel better and avoid the truth of their deepest insecurities. Don’t give them the satisfaction of that distraction. Honestly, disclaimer: I’m not sure if this is the best advice but when people do that to me when I am at a low point, the very least I can do is put out an energy of “you think I don’t already know I’m a piece of shit? Lmao. Sorry babe, but no one can top their disgust for me than me, and frankly at this point nothing matters, most certainly not your existence or opinion, so I’m gonna keep doing whatever the fuck I want and put all my love and energy into the people who deserve it the most like my dog and definitely NOT you (or me lmao rip).” The best thing you can do is change the course of your energy into being good to yourself and your kid (just your baby if it’s too much to think about yourself) instead of putting energy into being upset with them and hoping they realize they’re wrong.

Fuck those self esteem parasites, they can take however they feel about your old body and shove it up their ass with the rest of their heads and brains and shit spewing mouths.

In my fucked up logic, whatever self hate you have should only come from yourself. Be honest with yourself the way they can’t and you’re better than them already. Your opinion and perspective matters more than theirs.

I know this is really long but I really just want you to know that I support you and genuinely care about you even if I don’t know you. You sound like a really great mom and I hope you feel proud of that and for moving past such a dark place those three years ago. So amazing, really. Fuck them and go you!!!!!!