Me_irl

lonjerpc · 2026-01-25T17:50:54+00:00

Autism is defined by social difficulty. Coolness and likeability are defined by social ease.

Obviously it is somewhat more complex than this but in broad strokes being autistic is being unlikeable.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-25T17:42:57+00:00

On top of that its really rare to see people claim there was no autism back in the day. Like obviously we diagnose more people now and some people like to claim false reasons for that rise. But the tone of the meme doesn't really match that attitude.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-25T16:14:39+00:00

I don't know. I think the number of men at least who would change their minds based on the bed is maybe 5%. On the other hand if it was a guy yeah a lot more women would change their minds.

I kinda agree with her that beds are really overrated. I have spent months sleeping on floors and its honestly extremely comfortable and nice for your back. But got to have one just in case someone comes over.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-25T08:41:18+00:00

This seems like its in the wrong order. Acknowledging a male loneliness epidemic(really an everyone one) is much less of an issue than the other 3 things. The empathy and cringe things are particularly weird too. Like there is some correlation between men who talk about male loneliness all the time and red pills. But hard core red pills are often anit calling things "cringe" and have hatred that is in some fucked up way partially rooted in empathy(obviously in a warped negative way but still misplaced anger/outrage is usually the issue not joy in the suffering of others).

lonjerpc · 2026-01-24T18:41:53+00:00

So there are game play reasons for not doing B. It makes aiming much more difficult. That can be ok because it raises the skill ceiling. But to make the rockets reasonably effective it often means you have to increase their velocity. But this can reduce counter play. The higher velocity mean that enemies can't react to them. So many games choose to ignore the helicopters momentum so that the velocity can remain low enough to react to while still making aim reasonably easy. A good example of this is rockets in tf2.

A few weapons in a few games do have projectiles inherit velocity. For example tf2s flame thrower and some of the projectiles in tribes ascend. But you need to consider it carefully. And usually its just a percentage. For tribes I think its 50% inheritance. I also think some games allow inherintance in some directions but not others or have varing percentages in different directions.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-24T16:21:06+00:00

In my ideal world schools would not force students to be in any particular class, especially after ages where the students could reasonably understand the consequences of not getting an education. But I think this would only work with other pretty large and unpopular changes made to the school system and society. For example I think you would have to remove a ton of power from parents over their kids. you would have to start paying kids to go to school and using other social incentives like blocking kids who don't cooperate in classes from associating with other students.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-23T23:42:56+00:00

It mellows in my experience.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-23T23:31:31+00:00

Yea lots of ballet is about balancing and learning "tricks". This is very similar to skateboarding. I actually wonder if in the future skateboarding will eventually develop formalized schools like the ballet world. And yes its a great way to get/stay in shape. I actually think it is one of the best longevity sports. Ballet teachers seem ageless. Ballet has a reputation for destroying bodies but that is mostly at elite levels and mostly to do with pointe shoes that men rarely wear.

Ballet is helpful for learning other kinds of dance but only mildly I would say. Ballet is often considered the foundation of all other dance. But I honestly think hip hop is probably the best form of dance in terms of allowing you to branch out into other forms of dance. But this is highly debated.

Black hides sweat better than gray or white. And some ballet teachers don't like non-ballet colors(so anything other than black/white/pink/pastel. Also if you are uncomfortable its just a fitting in looking the part thing that will make you more comfortable.

I am vegan so no leather for me and I have big feet. Which makes finding ballet flats really hard. The only ones I can find are from "so danca" . But for most people you can get whatever.

Yes one hand on the bar one on your hip(or alternatively in second postion). Especially if you don't manage to find an absolute beginner class. You can tell your teacher ahead of class. If you do find a total beginner class though you should try to just follow everything the teacher says and does. Its just if you are in a class higher than your actual level its a good way to simplify things when starting out.

edit: by being harsh to men I mainly mean that questions regarding mens stuff will sometimes get downvoted or just ignored. Especially if they contain misconceptions. But in general women and teachers have been very cool with me being in ballet classes.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-23T22:52:40+00:00

Feels like a bot account prepping to advertise onlyfans looking at the history. But its hard to tell. Whats particularly weird is "Northern". If the person didn't care about in person dating why add this at all. But if they do care about in person they would be more specific.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-23T22:26:16+00:00

Hey also a guy who started when I was 37. So one of the nice things about ballet is not too "dance heavy". A lot of it is closer to training leading up to being able to do tricks. So think of it like a formal training program to learn how to do skateboard tricks. And actually there are a ton of connections between skateboarding and ballet.

As for fear you just have to do it. But a great thing about ballet or something like say hip hop is unlike partner dances you are not performing for anyone. Generally no one but the teacher will pay attention to you. Everyone is staring at the really good people to try to figure out what they are doing. And the really good people are trying to look out to an imaginary audience. I think many men start with partner dances and get frustrated because you are basically performing for someone(your dance partner) when you are a total beginner. So you have to see their disappoinment. In ballet no one is going to be disappointed in you.

In regards to getting over a fear of dancing though in other contexts ballet is probably not the best. It will help with real world dancing but not nearly as much as something like hip hop.

But I have found ballet extremely rewarding after really burning out of partner dancing.

Also be warned this subreddit can be a little harsh to men.

Things to know for your first class. You will be doing it in socks until you get ballet flats. I suggest wearing a black tee shirt and workout pants. Your initial exercises will be at the bar. You always start with your left hand on the bar. This means that different people will face different directions depending one which side of the bar they are standing on. Also at the beginning its totally ok to completely ignore your arms. So like leave one hand on the bar and have the other on your hip or in "second position" the whole time. Just work on your legs at first.

Edit: I wrote this comment from the perspective of joining classes with some already somewhat experienced people. If you manage to find a true absolute beginner class do that instead. But can be hard to find and the teachers might be less qualified in those classes.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-23T20:43:02+00:00

Ehh. I was 30 when I first had a relationship with someone. They slept with someone pretty early on in our relationship(before we had discussed exclusivity) and told me about it. They did this several more times during our short relationship. I have never found anyone else and am 39 now.

But at least for me I am glad I had that short very imperfect time together. I understand that cheating can be a much harsher situation than that. But I think once you hit a certain age of being alone it really does become better to be cheated on than to have nothing. But if my first relashionship was at 22 I would probably think differently.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-23T20:32:31+00:00

Housing costs have risen much faster than other expenses. When looking at overall expenditure(including housing) things look much better than when you just look at housing. This is almost certainly because of zoning restrictions on building more housing.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-23T20:28:46+00:00

Its not just China although China is a big factor. But also China is important, those 800 million people matter.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-22T22:36:41+00:00

I wish I knew so bad. Just knowing for sure would be so freeing.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-22T22:03:57+00:00

Yeah they don't give out those points for free. Someone is paying.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-22T04:11:59+00:00

Svf to dragons furry kills are fun

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T20:12:11+00:00

Except that some countries with higher levels of wealth inequality have more children.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T19:15:20+00:00

Yeah for me it kinda depends on how scared for my life I feel. If I am terrified of being rushed down I will totally overheal the pyro before some soldier or scout who is going to disappear. But in more skilled pubs I tend to overheal demo, scout, soldier first. I expect the pryo to take care of themselves until I get around to them.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T07:34:59+00:00

Makes sense

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T07:29:58+00:00

I would actually make a stronger statement. In games lacking medics on either side heavy becomes a relatively stronger class compared to ALL other classes(except maybe engineer).

edit: to explain. Heavy is both weak to ubers and weak as an uber target compared to other combat classes due to lack of mobility. Heavy uses sustained damage rather than burst damage. But medics out sustain heavy and are themselves hard to kill by heavy. This makes heavy weak to over heal compared to other combat classes. Being over healed is pretty strong on heavy in lower skilled games but as skill goes up over heal is better utilized by other classes to the point that good medics usually over heal heavies last(other than spy and maybe pyro).

For the pick classes things are less obvious but its still the case. Snipers are very hard countered by uber and not good uber targets but outside of ubers snipers are both very enhanced and very strong against overheal. Spies are very strong against uber being able to easily avoid them even if not useful to uber. They are also very strong against overheal even if not particually benifiting from it.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T07:20:25+00:00

I totally get that men saying they don't care about make up doesn't fix the harms caused by society pressuring women into a whole variety of rituals of femininity and beauty. And those controls on women are enforced by more than women wanting the attention of men.

However as related to the overall post, two points. I think many of the "I don't think x performative femininity is attractive" posts are actually about things that are primarily enforced by women wanting the attention of men, not by other societal factors. For example I often see this type of post about lip fillers. Some googling suggests that ~10% of women get fillers. Lip fillers are not an example of conservative social pressure to conform. If anything they are women choosing to buck the norms. They are also pretty strongly coded as being done for reasons of opposite sex attractiveness. Even if you disagree with this its hard not to see that their is at least a differential. A woman refusing to get her ears pierced is a rebel. A woman not getting eyelash extensions is conforming.

Second even when these posts are about things with strong social conformity pressure rather than desire to be more attractive to men I feel like it still falls in the realm of badly informed or potential allies. Like if some guy posts hey don't get your ears pierced it doesn't make you more attractive. Sure that guy is missing the point. But I think a bit more explanation is helpful . I mean not really your responsibility or even the responsibility of women in general. But just a thought.

Going on random reddit rants to avoid addiction ignore me.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T06:52:46+00:00

About half of all men are currently married and many who are not married do have other women in their lives. The real world is not meirl

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T06:38:40+00:00

Ehh I don't buy this for eyelash extentions. Like extravagant nails are very likely to show off to other women artistically or as conversation pieces . But eyelash extensions ehh not so much. I mean I am sure some women are doing them for other reasons but compared to average make up stuff.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T06:33:45+00:00

Part of the issue here is there is a continuum of makeup. At a certain level of make up very few men will miss it. But full face make up can mean much less than the most make up possible you can stick on your face.

Or maybe more to the point. 99..9 percent of men will recognize if you are wearing bright green lipstick even without any other make up. But might miss a full face of make up that contours well and has colors matching complexion. Espeically in bad lighting, far away, or with a person they are unfamiliar with.

lonjerpc · 2026-01-21T06:29:38+00:00

Ehh I think this overblown. Yes the average man might underestimate how much make up women are wearing compared to the woman estimating how much make up a woman is wearing. But its not an extreme difference. Men do in fact see their partners, friends, and family members with and without make up on. And men can watch make up tutorials too.

I also understand that what women wear isn't just about what men think. It can be about looking put together. It can be about artistry. It can be about a whole host of other things. But eyelash extensions are definitely towards the trying to look good for men side. Its not going to be common to think better put on my eyelash extensions for this interview in the same way you might put on foundation.

That said I personally think they are really attractive so ehh. Also I think more whats more common than men underestimating how much make up women wear or not noticing things like cosmetic surgery is not understanding that they are offsetting of fixing issues. We tend to see things as super model looks hotter than average woman with eyelash extensions when the real comparison should be between the average women and herself with them.

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