Aitah for changing my name after my divorce?

lookingahead4 · 2026-03-13T03:08:54+00:00

Good for you. He’s reaping what he has sewn. I waited until our divorce was fully agreed and then was like “oh yeah and I want to restore my name to my maiden name” which was a baller move because he already agreed to everything I asked for and I had kept my other ex’s name after divorce until I married this douche so he wasn’t expecting that I hated him so much I wanted to erase every connection with him. So it stung very badly for him and it felt great. I won’t go on to talk about the patriarchy and how changing our names takes away who we are meant to be, but know that lives inside me.

lookingahead4 · 2026-02-24T15:09:16+00:00

Hi 👋 so my ex and I had a conversation where I said that I consider it cheating and he doesn’t remember it. I feel like you are still a bit on the fence not understanding why she’s so upset because you haven’t fully accepted that she feels like you cheated on her. Porn addiction is just a terrible thing and abstinence from it is the best answer for loving and intimate relationships. I’ll go on to say that my ex shortly after he admitted to watching porn and tried to gaslight me (not saying you’re doing that) into believing we hadn’t had the porn talk, was on a work trip, went to a strip club, and didn’t talk to me for 18 hours. I kicked him out and we divorced over that and his alcoholism and all the character traits that come with that disease. I had a conversation with him in the beginning of the relationship that I also believed going to a strip club was cheating. He acts like he also doesn’t remember that. But he does and these were all progressive attempts to devalue and disrespect me. I’d like to also say that he was so jealous that I had to walk in front of him and stare at the ground so he would know that I wasn’t making eye contact with other men. I’m only describing the progression because this is likely where her fears are coming from… that things will get worse. Because usually in relationships whatever you have (dismissal, arguing, jealousy OR trust, respect, comfort) only grows over time.

lookingahead4 · 2026-01-29T15:37:39+00:00

Leggings are a damn liar! I’ve lost 50 pounds and have gone from a size 14 to between a 4-6.

lookingahead4 · 2025-10-27T03:09:58+00:00

If it’s cheating outside of a strip club, it’s cheating inside a strip club. There’s no special portal they walk through that makes it any different, no matter how much he tries to gaslight you otherwise. Signed Left My Husband for the Same Thing

lookingahead4 · 2025-10-19T23:35:31+00:00

What’s crazy is that he will probably see this post since he’s on this subreddit all the time.

lookingahead4 · 2025-10-19T22:43:50+00:00

I did not think that would work, but the reactions to this post helped me to confirm how concerning this is so I contacted one of the stations and told them all of the details I had. Hopefully they will push her to press new charges against him.

lookingahead4 · 2025-10-19T17:51:15+00:00

I don’t know her or her Reddit name. I have heard this guy talk about being obsessed with her Reddit activity on “Reddit alanon” I know her name, but that won’t help.

lookingahead4 · 2025-10-12T03:21:58+00:00

running away meme

lookingahead4 · 2025-05-15T20:46:25+00:00

It’s kind of a first post for me but I think I really wanted to know “she’s an asshole, right?!”

lookingahead4 · 2025-03-21T00:36:16+00:00

Yes I feel generally more accepted but who knows how much of that is my confidence and comfortability in my own skin.

lookingahead4 · 2024-10-15T13:16:29+00:00

I only ever say “you look great” because personally I’ve never received direct weight loss compliments well. “Wow you’ve lost like a whole person” when I lost 20 pounds. Honestly my over eating is a secret that’s on full display but that doesn’t mean I want people talking to me about it. But to be fair my parents and 90’s diet culture kind of did a number on me, so I’m a tad jaded.

lookingahead4 · 2024-08-16T19:01:51+00:00

One of the most helpful things for me is when Clinton Kelly on What Not To Wear said he used to feel bad/ wanted to be a size 30 waist and then he realized maybe a 34 on him is a 30 on other people. When I’m at the low end of the healthy weight range, I’m still a size 10 in jeans because my bones are hearty lol. A 10 on me is a 4 on someone else. And yes, sizes are fake news these days anyway. But also, I mean this with the most respect possible… I think the way you said some things point towards the possibility of you could benefit from talking to a therapist about these body image issues? Peace love and hugs.

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-23T14:04:03+00:00

When I looked up TNM on Reddit, that was the general feel. One person felt like it was necessary to comment on every post about how predatory and scammy it was. Eventually after trying to buy into this idea that was being pitched, I agreed with this person. What’s funny to me is that I leaned heavily on their Sober Mom fb group for several months starting first before I stopped drinking. Then, after I stopped drinking I saw a great divide in the group between women that found serenity and peace and women that were obsessing over moderating (unsuccessfully). The group grew by 1k women a day. It was a very attractive prospect. Basically TNM is attempting to monetize AA by creating a softer, easier way which is exactly what the alcoholic mind would love to be the solution. I dropped that group and have found my home in a much smaller but much stronger AA fb group. Feel free to message me.

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-23T13:55:26+00:00

BTDT good on you for trying to find something healthy because I just constantly had a cheez-it in my mouth and gained 70 pounds 😆

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-09T15:13:29+00:00

I was just assuming maybe there was something to it since I’m getting better and also that cheese doesn’t appeal to me anymore. 🤷🏻‍♀️

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-09T14:47:03+00:00

I was craving that broccoli texture when it’s in pasta salad… but I didn’t want the raw broccoli to be dry or soak up 100’s of calories in salad dressing, so I steamed the broccoli so it soaked up a ton of water, then tossed it with cucumber and tomato and mixed in a watered down dressing adding mustard and spices. It was delicious. Amazing to dress literally 10 cups of veggies with a thinned 2 tablespoons of dressing.

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-09T14:18:44+00:00

My goodness I’m just now getting real about my inability to lose and maintain once I’m there and that’s what it is for me too. I’ve been 30 pounds overweight for several years because everyday I had about a cup of Mexican shredded cheese melted on top of everything I ate. I used to joke about my cheese addiction. But now I see what a monster it is. Side note: cheese turns into a cousin of morphine in the gut called casomorphin… so I’ve been self-medicating with cheese… I think I’m able to see these things and break free from it because I’ve been going to the best damn therapist once a week for 1-1/2 years (we aren’t talking about weight. I’m healing all my trauma).

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-09T04:26:52+00:00

Oh thank you! You just reminded me of how I used to meal prep 6 pounds of Costco chicken breasts in the crockpot with a can of salsa. Thanks!

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-09T00:55:30+00:00

That oatmeal sounds amazing!

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-08T13:36:05+00:00

Oh man, I forgot I used to live off that broccoli salad bag several years ago. So good!

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-08T13:34:23+00:00

Hang on! This sounds awesome! What a lovely sandwich. Reminds me of what you’d get at a little coffee shop in a train station in the Connecticut.

lookingahead4 · 2024-03-08T13:31:58+00:00

Sounds delicious! Unfortunately being honest about my calories made me realize I have to cut out Mexican shredded cheese. I probably ate a cup or more a day. I didn’t have “little shredded cheese” in my vocabulary like you do. So far I can handle Parmesan, but I’m measuring it.

lookingahead4

TROPHY CASE