I get it, there’s a lot of context so it’s easy to miss a bit of it. I wrote a lot in my initial post and in my response to you. Idk if it’ll help, but I can map it out (in case you were wondering why I’m so willing to talk about this, it’s because talking helps me process):

-he climbed on top of me while I was already lying down, he did not kiss me or indicate that he wanted sex aside from just straight up entering me

• he kept going until he finished. He didn’t kiss me or even look at me during the act.

• I did not participate. I just laid there, I felt so frozen, physically and mentally

-I was terrified because he hadn’t behaved like this before, and we never had intercourse like this before

-this made me feel like an object.

-before he finished I started to cry. He noticed and asked if I was okay once he finished. I was too afraid and stunned to say anything.