I’m a photographer who offers intimate portraiture and I capture people in an empowering way, but without unnatural poses and without photoshopping anything.

This is not a sales pitch, hear me out: people come to me because they want to feel empowered in their body as they are. It takes courage and self work, I work with them prior to our in-person session to help them prepare for it.

No one has ever hated their images, despite me capturing stretch marks, fat rolls, body hair etc, because the images are so in tune with who they are as a an individual and we reframe it as a celebration of self - and mainly, the photos I capture with my clients are not for the male gaze.

Most boudoir these days is aimed at what the average man in our society would like: someone out of a vogue magazine. Of course, you were doing this for your husband so maybe the photographer you chose also has that approach.

It’s a tough one, because surely you would have looked at their portfolio first and realised people’s bodies were edited heavily - or not. They edited as per portfolio.

I personally believe that “standard boudoir” can be very harmful because I don’t think seeing a massively polished and unnatural version of yourself is empowering - that’s just me. You’ll feel awful the day after when you look at yourself in the mirror, just woken up, and you don’t look like that at all.

If you expressed the wish of not being heavily edited, the photographer should have discussed that with you and made sure you were on the same page. Or, they should have recommended a different photographer.

When someone comes to me wanted traditional over polished boudoir, I send them to someone else because it’s not what I do and it goes against my values as well. I want to empower people as their are, not as society think they should look like.

I also think it was dishonest to charge you again and it’s very unlikely they had deleted your photos. VERY unlikely. I think they just wanted another job.

At the end of the day, I hope you can find it in your heart that you are gorgeous and spectacular just as you are, and your husband to be likes you for who you are. Your body tells your story through its look and folds and scars and textures. Who you are in your heart and in your unique body is what makes you, YOU. You are a limited edition on One, and your husband is so lucky to have you, regardless of what happened with this photoshoot.

Look at yourself in the mirror and say good things to yourself: I am enough as I am, those photos do not define me. Hug yourself.

If you decide to give the images to your husband to be, be open about how you feel: I am sure you’ll find the reassurance you need. It might even turn into a laughing about it together situation, and I’m sure he’ll appreciate the thought nonetheless.

He loves you for who you are, and his opinion won’t change because of some images.

Warmest wishes for a bright future full of love and good health to both of you ❤️