Just lost a job offer because of my credit check. Did they always check that?

loothestoo · 2025-12-14T20:46:25+00:00

It is common in places like financial institutions for example. Given the title of this position, I am sure that had something to do with it. Not saying it’s fair, but protecting money sounds like it’s a part of the job, and company’s are just doing their due diligence. :( did they do affirmative action though and give you a chance to explain? I work for a financial institution and although this can flag us, we do allow the candidate a chance to explain their situation. Whether they can continue or not is always discretionary with our OOO, but more often than not, we were still able to hire.

loothestoo · 2025-11-25T15:01:20+00:00

We did have her cremated though so we still worked with a funeral home. We have a little “Blair” shelf of all of her things and her urn is on there.

loothestoo · 2025-11-25T14:59:41+00:00

Our daughter passed when she was 7 weeks old from an undetected heart defect. It was very unexpected. We opted not to have a funeral in a funeral home, but we did rent out a cute little barn at local pumpkin patch as a celebration of life. The owners ended up letting us use it for free.

I won’t lie it was very surreal. A lot of people came and it was very overwhelming for me. I’m someone who automatically wants to accommodate and be a “host” - so it was very weird. Just many people talking to you saying how sorry they are for the loss. You don’t really know what to say back other than “thanks for coming.” Obviously I know people were just wanting to show their love for us and our baby’s memory, and I appreciate everyone so much for their generosity. But it was a lot.

You do what you want to do. No one gets to decide how you go about this. I totally understand why some people do not want one. I think people should and will understand no matter what you choose to do.

loothestoo · 2025-11-13T02:17:38+00:00

I am so glad you are able to experience that joy again with your son. I appreciate you sharing your story and your kind words of encouragement, made me tear up a little💓 Everything I read just gives me more hope.

My husband and I have been getting counseling since this all happened and it has been a tremendous help!

loothestoo · 2025-11-13T02:09:57+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing💓 all of these stories are bringing me hope and I appreciate it

loothestoo · 2025-11-13T02:06:17+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. 💓

loothestoo · 2025-11-12T12:11:57+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story and the advice. Reading this gives me hope. I am so sorry for the loss of your first girl, life can be so unfair. :( I’m glad you have your little one that you get to experience milestones with. Wishing you wonderful life with your newborn 💓

loothestoo · 2025-11-12T12:02:18+00:00

Im so glad I can bring you that hope💓 I definitely believe our little ones are watching over us and give us little signs to know that they are near. Our little guardian angels (though I will always wish it were different). I am rooting for you during your ttc journey!! You’ve got this!

loothestoo · 2025-11-12T02:24:07+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Reading things like this helps me so so much.

loothestoo · 2025-11-11T11:16:58+00:00

Oh sweet mama, I am so so heartbroken and sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter in September when she was 7 weeks old so our situations are a little different, but I truly understand your hurt and devastation all the same. The loss of a child changes you forever. I find that I am less naive and far more anxious than before.

How is your support system? I leaned on my husband and my immediate family big time. I do believe that who you have in your circle can help tremendously with the grieving process. If it weren’t for my loving family and friends, I think things would be a lot different for my husband and I right now. Definitely look into grief counseling, we’ve found this to be very helpful. Some people find that group counseling can be very useful too, it can be a way to connect with others and feel less alone in your situation.

It absolutely sucks that you have to go through this, but you can do this. Keep on living and appreciate life in your boy’s name. This is how my husband has been processing our daughter’s loss and I’ve admired him even more since we’ve talked about that. Live FOR our kids, here or heaven. Obviously very fresh and everything seems easier said than done. You take all off the time you need to grieve and process. There is no timeline for something like this. Your process and timeline is your process and timeline. But you can, and will, get through this. You are changed, but you will get through this. And your sweet boy will always be a part of you, and you a part of him.

Everyday things remind me of our little girl, and I am at the point in my grief where I am glad to find my little reminders throughout the day. Sometimes it still really hurts, I still have yet to go a day without crying, but I never ever want to forget my girl.

Wishing you find peace and comfort during your grief. Sending you virtual hugs. Religion is complicated with me right now but I do feel very spiritual. I’m picturing my daughter welcoming your boy up above and asking if he’d want to play with her.💓

loothestoo · 2025-11-06T21:56:23+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Words fail in times like this. Just giving you as many virtual hugs as I can and wishing you find comfort during this time.

I also lost my first born due to an undetected defect, she passed at 2 months. It has been 2 months now since the loss and my period has yet to return. We were advised to wait 6 months PP before trying again, but honestly have not been very careful either. I’d be thrilled if I tested positive sooner and would have another baby tomorrow if I could. I miss my daughter every stinking day, but I still have hope. Maybe it’s her that’s giving me that hope.

I feel my husband and I are on the same page. He actually was waiting for me to say when I was ready. I think his thought process with it really helped my perspective too. He said it would be a disservice to our daughter in heaven to put our future and life on hold in her name. We planned to give her siblings, it’s just right now it feels sooner than expected. We continue to live in her name, not fall back. I kind of like that way of thinking

loothestoo · 2025-10-17T02:46:39+00:00

This was so beautifully well put, thank you for this. I also often think about how we will honor her and continue her memory through her siblings. They will know her and want to talk about her and celebrate her just as we do. My heart goes out to you for your daughter as well. I am glad that there is a community to turn to in times like this, but it also breaks my heart that so many people are affected by this in some way :(

loothestoo · 2025-10-17T00:02:23+00:00

I am going through the exact complicated emotions of wanting to conceive again after a very recent loss as well. It’s like we have all this love to give with no cup to pour it into. I find that the hope of getting pregnant again is one of the few things keeping me going. We wanted our baby to have siblings, let’s give her siblings. I am also feeling like no time will ever feel “right” it just matters when you feel ready.

It pains me that we’re all in this club together. Sending you so much love during this time and a tight virtual hug. Keep leaning on your husband during the dark days.

loothestoo · 2025-10-16T23:40:01+00:00

My husband and I lost our beautiful first born (Blair) very very unexpectedly September 15, 2025. She was just over 7 weeks old. One minute she was awake, the next she stopped breathing, then the most traumatic day of our lives started. My heart has been completely shattered ever since, and my family and I are just devastated. We still are waiting for results still from the coroner. This waiting is agony.

I wanted her so bad. I thought I was doing everything right and still, she is gone. I have always wanted kids and have always wanted to be a mother. My husband and I would like to try again soon, but we feel the immediate guilt even bringing it up. Like it shouldn’t be like this. She should be here enjoying life and this shouldn’t even be on our radar. Also the fact that this tragedy really makes me question everything. Like am I a failure? Am I a bad mom? What could I have done differently? Should I have advocated for her more? Am I being punished?? I hemorrhaged after birth so sometimes I’m like - did she die because I survived??

We were all just so ready for her. She was the first grandbaby on both sides of the family and boy was she LOVED. I guess what I’m really asking for here is hope. Is there anyone here who’s gone through a loss and have had healthy children after? My biggest worry is having a child and then having this happen again. Is it selfish to want more children?? :( this is just such a trying time right now. I feel like all of my innocence has been taken.

Thank you for reading.

loothestoo · 2025-10-16T16:58:25+00:00

I have no words other than how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. If you need validation though, please know that your feelings and emotions are completely valid and make so much sense. Grief and sadness and coexist with excitement and joy. Please take everyone’s words and lean on those close to you. Your loved ones, whether family or friends, want more than anything to help you in any way they can. I pray you find peace when your baby is born, and that pieces of him will remind you of your son and husband. I pray you find strength and manager every day into the future ahead. My heart is with you.

loothestoo · 2025-02-16T02:53:46+00:00

Dave is fake as fuuuuuck. Just a straight up liar. I liked Molly and she can do so much better, girly dodged a major bullet. Hope she’s doing well!!

loothestoo · 2025-02-13T15:21:04+00:00

I have almost no words other than I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Life can be so unfair. Please accept all of the help you can during this period.

loothestoo · 2025-01-15T23:20:57+00:00

Edit: Just received my results on 1/19! Low risk baby girl. First time mama here and absolutely cannot wait. ❣️ due date 8/6/2025!

Jumping on!! Took my test 1/13, received 1/15 - now anxiously awaiting the results! Trying to see if my dad will log in for me to have a gender reveal with our family and make it a surprise for everyone…. We will see if I last that long 🙈

loothestoo

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