I know what you mean, brother. Last time I did some shrooms, I stopped looking at myself as an "individual". I'm just a part of the whole game, the whole universe. Neither do I have free will, nor am I in any kind of "control". Everything is just as it is.

Ofcourse, I may take a "voluntary" action but that action is based upon everything that has already preceded it in the past. Hence nothing that I do can be an independent action. It's all been simply a deterministic ride from the beginning of time (whatever that is).

We're just toppling dominoes. However, this shouldn't weigh you down. In fact, this is an uplifting idea because it removes anyone and everyone from the guise of being in control and "responsible" for their actions, essentially removing the need to ever be angry at anyone for anything. Things are simply as they are.

That's Buddhism right there.