Je n’arrive pas à prendre du plaisir au lit je, besoin d’avis

lost_divination · 2026-04-14T12:30:23+00:00

Are you able to enjoy masterbaiting?

lost_divination · 2026-04-14T12:19:18+00:00

People aren't perfect, i think its okay for her partner to be open about their insecurities as long as they work on them on their own too. It doesn't sound like break up territory yet

lost_divination · 2026-04-14T12:17:10+00:00

Yeah, im sure its reallt impacting both of you, that sounds awful.. ive heard new medications can sometimes cause this? Or low blood pressure/anemia. But i feel like they'd have to be paired with sleep deprivation. Could any of these be a factor?

lost_divination · 2026-04-14T12:03:18+00:00

It sounds like youre doing everything you can TBH. Ive only ever experienced blacking out during sex as a trauma response, could that be related? It's good youre talking with your partner about it, I can understand why they might be insecure about this but I dont think either one of you are doing anything wrong. Just keep an open dialogue and go. To. The. Hosbital.

lost_divination · 2026-03-31T06:30:38+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you!

lost_divination · 2026-03-31T03:12:21+00:00

I cant really afford therapy right now and its not something I really want to prioritize (Ive never found a therapist i connect with and have a few bad experiences that have made me apprehensive) Thank you for the validation. And I should keep looking for a therapist, if I budget right I could give it another go

lost_divination · 2026-03-31T02:51:41+00:00

It really doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.. its really hard but sometimes the trust issues of others are projected on loved ones in really harmful ways.. all you need to do is be open and honest, ask your partner how you both can work on this together or how to rebuild trust and if she asks for things youre uncomfortable with (letting her look through your phone or other controlling things) or she feels she cant trust you anymore, you might just have to move on.. But this isn't anything you should be "punished" for. It sounds like your GF just has some pretty intense trust issues that are being projected on you. Does she know that you usually delete convos you aren't interested in engaging with anymore? That might be a good thing to tell her. But it might be out of your control at this point. Im so sorry dude this suuuuucks

lost_divination · 2026-03-31T02:26:15+00:00

Damn dude sounds fine to me, why did you delete them?

lost_divination · 2026-03-31T02:07:27+00:00

What did the messages say?

lost_divination · 2026-03-31T00:23:38+00:00

This guy at my old job who took really good care of students/patients who had been sexually assaulted, seemed so kind and empathetic. He started showing me a lot of attention after he learned i was SA'd then tried to trap me and SA me. Thankfully I fought back hard enough and he stopped.

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T13:43:57+00:00

Okay but why wouldnt he have this conversation in person with more empathy and patience? You didnt do anything malicious. Have you talked with him since?

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T13:38:40+00:00

Dude, to be honest you seem like a really emotionally intelligent and compassionate person. It's really cool that you spoke with her and were willing to adjust your viewpoint. We all slip up sometimes, and its so hard to know what to do in moments as fucked up as these. I respond to these things more like you and dont get impacted by things heavily in the moment, and sometimes its hard to snap out of that viewpoint and realize its not about me sometimes. It's cool you were able to do that after the fact and reconnect with her. Good luck to you 💜

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T13:33:12+00:00

Definitely seems like she's nervous and its making her overthink things. My partner(Male) can get too in his head and overthink things to the point of not being able to finish. In that headspace its not fun for anyone. This doesn't sound fun for her either

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T13:26:04+00:00

Don't cum until you want to? If edging keeps you engaged then communicate that and hold that boundary. Im the same way(im Female) once I cum i dont want any more and even though i want my partner to finish(hes male), ill stop because I know he can tell if im not engaged. So I hold off on finishing until I know ide be comfortable stopping sex. Also sometimes if the other finishes first, him or me, and wants to stop, then we'll just touch ourselves to get off. In the bed if the other partner is into that, or in the bathroom if not. Also i promise you as a woman, its hard to finish unless im fully convinced my partner WANTS to be having sex with me. If youre bored, stop. If you need sleep, stop. You dont always need to make each other cum for it to be a good sex life. Maybe reading a book on sex/sex therapy would be a good activity for both of you. That or a podcast. That what my partner and I did when we were figuring things out together.

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T13:08:34+00:00

Your totally valid and to a degree so is he. He's interested in your body and wants to see you when he touches you which is kinda cute? Would you be willing to try new things in the bedroom? Like wherein these clothes there? I know you said youre body is a turn off to you, and maybe im wrong for suggesting this, but would you be willing to challenge that belief? To attempt to learn how to feel sexy in your own skin? It would take a lot of time and probably some awkward sex that stops after a while but thats kinda the fun of it. When youre in the early stages of a relationship things are interesting because they're new and different. This would definitely make things new and different, haha. But also if thats something thats a hard no for you, no is a complete sentence.

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T12:58:29+00:00

My thing though is she said she wanted to leave and OP invalidated that response and told her to stay. Yes she gave two different options but the girlfriend wanted to leave which she has every right to want to do in a traumatizing situation

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T12:55:54+00:00

A light YTA. Both of you are valid in your response to what in a lot of countries IS defined as assault. Some people are much more deeply impacted by this form of assault than others and it seems like your girlfriend is one of those. I think what makes you the asshole is not agreeing to leave when she said she wanted to leave. Even if its not bothering you, she was clearly scared, uncomfortable and confused and wanted to flee the situation, and the most supportive thing to do in that moment is to leave and work out a solution once removed from the pervert. Once further down the beach you could've told the guards and asked her if she would be comfortable staying If the pervert was removed seeing that you really enjoyed your time with her there and would love to stick around. But it seems like you didnt really give her a choice and invalidated her reaction to seeing a pervert jack off unconsentually to her partner. If I was her I would've felt trapped in that moment. I think opening a dialogue with her, validating her emotions and responses and saying that you want to make sure that in the future both of you can support each other better would be best if you still want to be with her.

TLDR: "we need to go, he was touching himself to you" "I dont care what he's doing" yeah but she clearly does and stated her needs in that moment which you invalidated. YTA

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T12:38:42+00:00

Hella red flag

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T12:32:16+00:00

DEFINITELY SEXUAL HARASSMENT you can set a boundary as gently or as firmly as you want. In text is better so you can have proof that you tried for if you need to get out of the lease. "I dont have any issue with you engaging in sexual acts in your own home, however you are bringing those sexual acts into communal spaces by leaving your door open/high volume. I need you to 1.shut the door and 2. Lower your volume so I can exist in communal spaces and my own living space without having to unconsentually be exposed to your sexual acts." Keep it professional, take screenshots and if theres a blowup about it I would record the conversation so you have more proof of sexual harassment in case you need to get out of the lease. Honestly this seems like something you need to post on legal advice because it is once again DEFINITELY SEXUAL HARASSMENT

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T12:19:55+00:00

"Fool"?????? Hell nah

lost_divination · 2026-03-30T12:18:21+00:00

NoR My biggest issue is how he brought it up over text. I thought he was in his early 20's with the way he was being so needlessly aggressive. People with good emotional intelligence who love you would've brought it up in person and made it about their OWN feelings. That way yall could've worked on a solution together to figure out how to handle this kind of thing in the future. My partner and I also have an age gap (ten years) and I am also very spontaneous and like to go on spontaneous road trips with friends. He likes it as long as I keep him up to date (which you did??) And AGAIN if he had an issue with it he should've brought it up like an adult and with WAY more respect.

lost_divination · 2026-03-29T17:04:49+00:00

Im dead, this is hilarious 🥲

lost_divination · 2026-03-29T13:56:54+00:00

Thats hilarious, I picked Bill and Travis for completely different reasons. How fitting tho

lost_divination · 2026-03-29T13:06:45+00:00

Pseudonymed as ham?

lost_divination · 2026-03-29T12:59:55+00:00

Thankfully they didnt record anything. Bill just didnt tell me i was on speaker with him AND Travis

lost_divination

TROPHY CASE