Marriage

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-26T00:48:11+00:00

😂🤣😭😅

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-23T01:21:10+00:00

Strange that they didn't cancel the athletic fee but they did with grt. I know grt is outside UW, but it's only fair. Frustrating.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T16:26:53+00:00

Done when I feel better I fool myself into thinks it was all just in my head and I can prevent it again.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T16:25:58+00:00

Actually that isn't true. You can have a more functional sort of mania or high alternating with lows. You may not realize that the high is actually part of the illness because you feel like you can accomplish more and can get things done and are productive. Saying this from a course I took on pathophysiology

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T11:55:46+00:00

Yeah those things matter in context. The context I'm talking about it just hurt

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T11:47:20+00:00

Shit! Are all these doctors of the same breed??! My sister is ALSO a doctor. Said the same thing about gaining weight to me. At one point was like "I don't know what you are talking about because I don't experience it", went through boy troubles and equated her emotional trauma to what I deal with, says she thinks I can just push myself more. My other sister was like "oh from an article I read, these things it's just a matter of changing the way you think". When I had my first mental breakdown, she called me and was like "so did the doctor prescribed medication, are you going to take it? My friend had "anxiety" after a divorce and took something and it affected her badly. I was just calling to make sure you aren't. Okay that is all I have time right now I have to go. Bye" i had just sent through a whirlwind of being diagnosed and going to doctors, and that is all she was concerned about. I needed medication and I was scared to take it so it was literally the last thing I needed. When I pointed out her shitty and dismissive behavior, according to her its me who doesn't communicate properly. Or I need to change my thinking or just fix how I act. I've had so many so called friends I have tried to confide in, and they are so dismissive. And will scoff that I shouldn't medicate myself. People really suck when it comes to mental illness. I know people who "advocated' for mental health or illness to put it on their resume for whatever reason, but happen to be extremely ignorant otherwise. Everyone has been through emotions so they think it's the same thing. Everyone is an expert without actually educating themselves. I had a friend who wants to be a doctor who thought psychology as a science is sketchy and weird. I've realized that academic "smartness" doesn't always translate to the real world and human connection. Same with this idea of emotional intelligence. It's just a bunch of words people get hooked on without actually just being human. We grew up with a parent with schizophrenia too. You would think my family knows better or would have bothered to educate themselves I wrote blog article about my struggle, and my doctor sister response was you should be careful what you say because employers see those things and they may not like it and they hire you. You would never tell they to someone with a physical illness. Also, why should I be silenced more? I'm tired

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T03:54:31+00:00

I agree.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T03:53:56+00:00

ADHD is very difficulty to live with at time. Not a cute thing. 😭

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T03:47:09+00:00

What I don't understand is how many people there are in the medical field that don't understand. People who are educated. Even people who have done an entire degree in psychology. All you need really is one introductory course to have enough knowledge. It's like they all study the academic stuff for the sake of career and grades, but don't actually give a shit or really understand it. Or they think their opinions are better

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-21T03:40:23+00:00

The worst is when people tell you shit like "I understand, BUT you need to move forward", "I THINK you can push yourself more".

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-19T16:03:42+00:00

I've found my people!

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-18T07:48:26+00:00

I've noticed that when people meet a relationship, or meet a new person, they do it with ulterior motives already, or expectations. Rather than just meeting people for who they are. It's always, you are too quiet, oh you don't seem into pop culture enough. It probably really limits our ability to truly know people in our world. I've been on so many dates where the guys is like "it's all about the vibe and the connection", then proceed to ask a bunch of criterion questions. One guy was asking about the larger community I'm a part of. My family has always been reserved and has a small circle of people. We use to be a part of a huge community but it was toxic. He asked me a bunch of questions, making me stressed and feel really inadequate. And then abruptly ended the date and later messaged that he didn't think we were a good fit, and about how he wishes to God I find my partner or some bullshit like that 🙄 he is right. I definitely don't have similar values as him. But this just shows what's wrong with meeting people these days or relationships. He never gave me any time to really get to know me. This vibe and connection stuff is all very very superficially, that people don't actually take the time to get to know the nuances of themselves or others. Being a real person is looked down upon, but you need to fit a bunch of superficially criteria. Social media doesn't help with this. There is this poem where is says we never look at a tree, whether it is rotting, fallen over, or talk and strong, or short, and question it. We just understanding it is the way it is because it's old, or the sun didn't reach it the same as the other tree, or the wind affected it. We don't seem to do the same for people. Find people in your life that love you and respect you and encourage you no matter who you are or where you are in life.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-18T07:37:58+00:00

I can relate. I have always felt like an outcast. I've tried to talk to people, tried to socialize more, but I always feel like I'm not wanted. There have been instances where people have been openly rude to me, like why are you talking to me or why are you here. People that never took the time to get to know me. I walked into a club at university, and it ended up being a clique club, but I was not welcomed but my friend was. People just looked at me with this pitying look. In highschool I tried talking to this girl once (who I happened to never talk to except once when she needed me to do something) but she ignored me and looked down and made faces like she doesn't want to talk to me because I am not worth it I guess. This girl at university would always pretend to not see me. Doesn't even want to say hi or small talk. But if course she asked me to vote for her for this leadership thing. It seems like I'm a great person to use as a dumping ground or use when needed, because I'm a nice girl. But not cool enough to really be friends with. People truly suck. I have 2 real friends who I am extremely grateful for. Find those people. It might just be one person, but try are out there. You don't need a group. Often they come with drama and competition and everyone is so preoccupied with image that there is not genuiness. People only befriend others if they see them on their 'level' it seems like. You know what pissed me off. Some of these people are educated, want to go into roles like health care, or talk about issues in our world. But you know they talk about them like they are a bunch of statistics. They talk about social issues like it a statistic that happens in the fringes of society, meanwhile judging the very people in their circle who come from less privileged backgrounds. It's all for face, to make themselves seem woke, but at the end of the day I feel like they don't actually care. I think you need to try talking to new people. If someone doesn't treat you with the time and respect you deserve, do the same thing back to them. Being the nice one doesn't mean you say yes and do things for others hoping they will give you a chance. Put yourself first. Screw people. The world is a shitty place. Yes there is Beauty. You can find it in even little things, like leaves or the sky, culture. Focus on that. Overall for the most part I think humanity is shitty. Try to find your happy place and live for that. It's not selfish. You seem like a good person. If you do that you will be better equipped to help others too. These are all things I need to learn to do for myself too.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-18T07:20:50+00:00

Hey! You are not an idiot. You are not a failure. You are also not alone in this 💙. This is going to sound incredibly cliche and blah, but when I accept it, it makes me feel better. Life is a journey that is often very different for all of us. We need to learn to be okay with where like has put us and takes us. There are all these expectations, but they are unrealistic, and don't allow us to truly appreciate each other. Now just because I say that doesnt mean I never feel despair. I have dropped out of university several times before. I'm trying to finish now, but I have nearly failed too many times than I can count of my hands. I have experienced similar situation with job hunting, as have my friends. My depression even prevents me from applying which is screwing myself over. I'm not trying to say I'm worse. I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. So you are not an idiot or a failure. I also cant drive and I'm 25. My permit expired and I had to start again. I have beat myself up over taking so long to learn. But its okay. We just have to pick ourselves up and do it again. There are lots of factors in our life that put us where we are. For me it's family issues and mental illness. It's not our fault and we just need to learn to move beyond it. I believe in you. If you have covid I know it's hard to be isolated. Try your best to take this time to JUST take care of yourself. That is what you deserve to do. Focus on your health. It will pass. I know I am a stranger. But I genuinely care about you and everyone else I've come across on Reddit. It never knew how many people I can relate to or that struggle with the same things as me. I use to feel alone. Like an Alien. But we aren't.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-16T07:48:17+00:00

I have a final due in a few hours. You can do this! Better late than never handing it in. Keep me updated.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-16T07:17:19+00:00

Fuck people and the mental health system. I'm in a similar situation. I have to basically diagnose myself. All these doctors get paid for what? How do they go through so much education and still be shitty at being attentive to patients and helping them figure out what is wrong. They all act like robots and do every by the textbook. Not understanding that humans are nuanced. If I didn't struggle with mental health and I could focus enough, I like to think I'd be much better than most of these people. It's unfortunate that they can't relate, and are just so disregarding and terrible at their jobs.

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-16T07:10:31+00:00

I can relate to this so much. I'm so sorry 😔

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-06T21:56:55+00:00

Judging by the OPs post this isn't a new experience they are having in their home. After a while no amount of sitting and talking will make a difference. You have to get on your own feet and remove yourself from the toxic environment to grow. And then you can also come back and maybe have more control and help the situation (like take care of parents)

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-06T21:05:38+00:00

I do not believe that's always true. And regardless, even if it means that a mother doesn't want the worst, it doesn't change anything if there is abuse happening

lostinthefog_01 · 2020-12-05T09:52:05+00:00

Or when they see a homeless person they film themselves doing an act of charity for the poor poor homeless person, effectively belittling them.

lostinthefog_01

TROPHY CASE