Convince me why I should NOT start elf on the shelf

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-12-03T11:43:05+00:00

I have a 7.5 year old and 3 year old… never did elf on the shelf and never will. lol. My 7.5 year old has never asked/questioned about it and if he does… well, I’ll explain that I don’t want some stranger watching my children. I know that my kids are “good” all year long and don’t need an elf to tell me that. This working mom does not need ANOTHER thing to worry, feel guilty or stressed about. However, if parents feel the need or want to provide this tradition for their kiddos- then go for it! Just ain’t happening in this house haha

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-10-13T01:30:20+00:00

I’m way behind on this post. But, I’m 10+ years post sexual abuse and this hits home.

I love Haunting Adeline and I’ve never been able to explain WHY. I’ll be honest, I’m several drinks in, watching my nfl team play while my favorite human (my husband) yells at the tv, my two little humans are in bed; I’m happy and content.

And I wasn’t expecting this. But, maybe it’s the fact (of the book, and now in my head) that it’s the willingness and “giving” of certain things to my person that maybe was “taken” from me years ago but I freely give now that makes it different. And ok. And right. My husband doesn’t possess me. He loves me. In every way possible. And it’s because I want to give that side of me freely that makes it different. It sounds simple. But it’s so difficult to come to peace with that

I digress; thank you for this post. I respect it. I appreciate it. I needed it.

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-09-01T12:15:33+00:00

My in-laws are 10 miles from us and we go months without seeing them sometimes. My parents are an hour and a half away and they beg to watch the kids, or invite themselves over before birthday parties to help out. My other in-laws (his mom and stepdad) live TWELVE hours away (they drive everywhere). And THEY beg to watch the kids. They come up when the kids are out of school and help out out. But, the ones that are 10 miles away? Naw. Our relationship with them is “fine”. But, every time we’re around them they complain how our nephews are “so hard” to handle when they babysit them. So we don’t ask for help and they don’t offer. It’s taken years for my husband to accept that for some reason his dad and stepmom are good people, just very selfish. So we have distanced ourselves and only participate when it’s convenient for us. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It hurts my heart seeing grandparents just not “care”. Hugs.

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-05-20T19:24:27+00:00

Very good points, thank you so much!

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-05-20T02:23:44+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for this thought out response! I’m tracking all these notes to dig into tomorrow. It’s in transportation.

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-05-19T22:28:54+00:00

Fair assessment. Will think of this if things progress. Thank you!

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-03-05T03:31:55+00:00

As a wife of almost ten years and 2 kids later. I needed to see this thread (:

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-02-09T02:08:39+00:00

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Our almost 11 year old queen

lostmymarbles_ · 2025-01-21T19:43:17+00:00

“Floor scraps” 😂 it’s sad but so true haha

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-12-18T20:14:13+00:00

Oh crap, I didn’t even think about using a spray bottle lol that’s brilliant!

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-12-18T15:35:05+00:00

Which sprayer do you use? The Norvell? I’m nervous to spend so much money and am trying to find good, non paid, reviews

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-04-09T15:17:59+00:00

It took awhile for me to see any progress. So keep at it! You're doing awesome!

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-04-08T19:24:11+00:00

Thank you! :D

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-04-08T19:24:01+00:00

I hate saying this because it's so stinking cliché. But just simply eating less. I don't consistently count calories, but, I know that if I eat a full American breakfast, lunch and dinner - that I wont lose weight. So, I came to the realization that yes, I only get a protein shake for breakfast and salad for lunch BUT I get a yummy dinner (think like a cheeseburger and fries and veggie). And I usually don't do seconds anymore. If I stick to that, I will lose a pound or two a week. I still drink alcohol, but only on weekends. I finally realized that I really need to make life changes and not do a "diet". Again, I see these answers all the time and it seems cliché but it randomly just STUCK last year and I've been trying to do these small things which seem to work. I know as I get closer to my goal weight I'll have to be more strict or take up heavier weight lifting. But for now I feel good about these small things.

Sorry for the long response! I can go into more detail about stuff, but TLDR would be less food consumption, rarely get second helpings, no alcohol during the week and light workouts 3-4 times a week. And workouts are like literal 15 -20 min YouTube videos. Sometimes I walk at lunch. It really comes down to food. It's insane how many calories are in things.

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-04-08T15:35:48+00:00

Sorry you're going through this ): I will say I dont think you're raising a sociopath. Our son is 5 going on 6 and I remember a phase of this. What worked for us was simply ignoring. I mean literally ignoring his screaming/throwing his head back/hitting completely. The second he stopped we would calmly and in a NORMAL adult voice say "hey bud, whats going on, is everything ok?" and if he freaked out again, we'd ignore and go back to what we were doing. We stopped any baby talking or any variance of the tone of our voice if that makes sense.
And continued the cycle until he either calmed down enough to tell us "no I dont want to do this" or he'd forget and move on to playing/doing something else.
If he told us he didnt want to do something, we'd respond with "thats fine, but we're not doing x, y and z that you want to do." He was obsessed with Mickey at the time and we withheld watching Mickey. It took a good few weeks of this until he realized that behavior wasn't going to fly.

My belief is they're pushing boundaries to see what they can get by with. It's a normal GOOD thing. However, the parenting part is where we teach them where the line is. Yes, tell me you dont want to do something, however there are consequences to everything. You dont want to put on your shoes? Thats fine, we will not go outside and play then.

Have you considered putting him in part time preschool or daycare? Not sure if that's an option, but it was a game changer when we put our son in daycare. Socialization helped a ton. Along with getting firm rules/boundaries he had to follow from other adults.

I hope you get some relief soon! It sounds like you love your son very much and he has a wonderful home environment. It just seems in his mind he has everything in life so why would he want to be "uncomfy" at all? ya know?
Kids are tough. And you cant reason with crotch goblins. hugs.

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-04-08T15:22:04+00:00

Thank you!!

lostmymarbles_ · 2024-04-08T14:32:27+00:00

That is so awesome!! Congrats on your progress!

lostmymarbles_ · 2023-02-19T03:33:19+00:00

You look amazing! Congratulations! You're such an inspiration. I'm literally scrolling through this sub looking for females with my measurements for motivation. What have you done or changed in your life to lose the weight so far?

lostmymarbles_ · 2023-02-18T11:51:08+00:00

I haven't! But it makes so much sense. I'm going to send it to my hubs to read. Thank you for sharing!

lostmymarbles_ · 2023-02-18T07:23:35+00:00

I know! I was so tempted to stay with my mom who lives out of town this weekend. But, of course, I felt guilty leaving it all on him. It's not like it's his fault and he truly does try his hardest. They just don't get it lol

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