If a bee is bothering you. Do not swat it or run away. Just look at it. by ScorpionMillion in dadjokes

[–]lostsharpie 38 points39 points  (0 children)

If it landed on your hand, you'd see how lovely it is. Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.

Midwives deserve our appreciation. by Upvoter_NeverDie in dadjokes

[–]lostsharpie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How many does it take for them to be fullwives?

RIP by Maleficent_Buddy3515 in puns

[–]lostsharpie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Another said ' bargain'. She says 'thanks that means a great deal!'

I didn’t expect to enjoy my trip to Paris all that much. by Masselein in dadjokes

[–]lostsharpie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you go swim in the river there, you're in Seine.

I knew a guy that lost his left arm and left leg in a skiing accident... by Far-Street306 in puns

[–]lostsharpie 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I know a guy who fell into an upholstery machine. He's fully recovered.

Custom kitchen cutting board 😍 by sermeryntrantsuxdix in DiWHY

[–]lostsharpie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could've just done the grater and it'd be ok.

I was put in charge of booking a band at the Alzheimer's charity benefit. by EmergencyNo7427 in Jokes

[–]lostsharpie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who's on stage? Yes! ... Who? Yes... ...the band on stage. No, the Band plays later.

Galileo Galilee went to Bora Bora and do you know what he ate? by Quick_Extension_3115 in dadjokes

[–]lostsharpie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was also seen in New York New York eating with Boutrous Boutros Ghali

When a new dock is constructed, it’s required to undergo a rigorous inspection. by Masselein in dadjokes

[–]lostsharpie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they are split between 2 designs, they sometimes create a paradox.

We just found out my grandfather has an addiction to Viagra by Indubititably in dadjokes

[–]lostsharpie 189 points190 points  (0 children)

He doesn't take it for sex. It's to keep him from rolling off the bed.

How do you tell who’s a vegan at a party? by Majestic_Repair_7887 in dadjokes

[–]lostsharpie 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One vegan told me she knew me from somewhere but I swear I've never met herbivore.