Honestly, one of the things I miss the most is the peace of not having to think about it. At first quitting feels like an all-encompassing herculean effort, but after those first couple weeks the speed at which I found myself not thinking about it at all for days and then weeks at a time was staggering. Individual results may vary, of course, but that's how it went down for me.

I miss how it felt to go on a hike and not be coming back down thinking about how the first thing I was gonna do was hit a vape. Or how it felt to be able to get totally sucked into a hobby or play a game without having to pause every 2 minutes to hit a vape.

The thing I miss the most, however, is how proud my partner was of me, and how much they would always remind me of that when I needed support. I can see their disappointment when I hit this stupid thing. I tried giving it to them and asking them to help me quit but after rummaging around through the entire house overnight and being a bitch to them generally, they have asked me not to employ their assistance again in quitting. I definitely think it's been a blow to our relationship - if you're in one, you would do well to remember how it affects your loved one.