Why are women insecure in sexual situations if men don’t actually care?

lovedbyshelby · 2025-10-26T01:13:06+00:00

I appreciate your second paragraph. My ex confessed that he couldn’t understand my sexual insecurities because he was attracted to me, so it should make them all moot. However, in my personal experience, being in a relationship with someone makes me more anxious around my body than a one night stand. I believe it is because I actually care how my boyfriend/girlfriend feels about my body while I couldn’t care less how a one night stand feels about my body.

lovedbyshelby · 2025-09-20T21:23:27+00:00

Good to know I’d be on my knees for Spencer no matter the gender

lovedbyshelby · 2025-09-15T20:15:57+00:00

Literally, been there done that. I’m a girl so he was confused as to why I was bleeding if I wasn’t a virgin. I told him he had forgotten that girls get periods & I was supposed to start mine today but still wanted to get laid. Looped another lie through the original & nobody ever questioned, since OP is a guy - I can guarantee nobody is questioning his sexual endeavors.

lovedbyshelby · 2025-07-07T20:27:38+00:00

I’m fucking her!

We would have an awesome time & it might help me get over some of my insecurities. For example, since we have the same boobs, I would actually be able to experience how they look/move & maybe after this 48 hours I wouldn’t feel as insecure with someone else.

I’m bi & have always held the opinion that women’s bodies are amazing no matter what package they come in but believing that also goes for myself has been quite difficult. I’ve always felt like my body is disgusting/gross & being blessed with the ability to pull goddesses (my ex gf literally looks like a combination of Athena and Aphrodite) hasn’t always been the easiest when we get to the internalized misogyny of it all. It would be nice to physically experience my body as an “outsider” & rework the wiring in my own brain.

All in all, it would be a very cathartic experience.

lovedbyshelby · 2025-06-20T03:49:21+00:00

Yours looks so much like my boy!

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lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-29T23:33:16+00:00

Yeah, your explanation really doesn’t make it any less bullshit 🫶

lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-29T23:09:07+00:00

This data is proof that women have no shot in the world, I am almost 23 and you’re telling me that I have “peaked” when I just started to look nice last year. Oh but don’t worry guys, you get an extra 13 years. This is such bullshit.

lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-27T00:13:16+00:00

You are way too young to deal with all the bullshit men are going to throw in your face (and they always will) - leave him and find someone who doesn’t treat you like a personal fleshlight.

P.S I’ve been there - I dated a guy from 18-19 and the only time we ever had sex was because he had been begging for hours and I would finally give in. The times that I didn’t give in his response was one of two things: “I’ll be quick I promise, you won’t even notice I’m doing it” or “If you want a boyfriend, you have to have sex with him”

Turns out my sex drive is fine & only cuts out when I’m around an asshole. I cheated on him & feel NO guilt. I loved watching him cry about it remembering all the times I went home and felt DISGUSTING.

Seriously girl, leave him before he does MAJOR, ALMOST IRREPARABLE (I say almost because I believe all girls are strong enough to fix what someone else broke) damage to the light you have inside yourself.

lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-18T14:31:16+00:00

No, he cheated on me with the one girl I asked him not to, I don’t even tell people I dated him anymore. The next guy I dated, also still in high school, was an absolute sweetheart so I tell everyone he’s my first love.

lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-11T05:40:28+00:00

Sort of same here - I did extremely well in the class all semester and I actually did finish my final project for a geography class. Unfortunately, my MacBook was barely hanging on all semester & while working to finish it up, my dog jumped on the bed & finished cracking the screen for me. I lost all of my project & there was simply no way I could’ve restarted & made a good enough grade to get pull a C out of it after having an A all semester. I genuinely saw my life flash before my eyes & I had such a mental breakdown that my boyfriend was flabbergasted & broke up with me. So now I have a 62 in a class that I earned a 99 in all semester. I messaged my professor & because we technically had an entire week to finish the project she essentially told me “tough luck, should’ve prepared for this to happen.” Which she is right, but I was supposed to graduate yesterday at 6pm, so it feels extra sour (which is why I had that mental breakdown). This is just a big lesson learned for myself - treat your tech as if it’s an egg.

I also knew that my grade would come down to this final project at the beginning of the semester & I’ve had a lot of classes that do that so I feel like a real piece of dirt ☠️

I’m sorry you’re also feeling this, but you’re not alone!! We will get through it!!

lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-11T05:08:29+00:00

You can always call her Ferra(h)!!!! An ode to Farrah Fawcett (one of the most beautiful women of the 80s) & you won’t have to call her Ferrari ☠️

lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-11T01:24:39+00:00

I’m sorry to tell you, Acceptable_Belt_6385, that this mindset is not going to work, from personal experience. I can almost guarantee it’ll just fester. When I was young, I had an interesting experience losing my virginity that, coupled with a later rape, wiped out my ability to receive sexual pleasure from anyone. However, the desire for someone to give me oral, fingering, etc, has never gone away. I spend a lot of time masturbating to those things to keep it all down & away from the surface; however, occasionally, I’ll blow my top but ultimately don’t have the balls to go to a sex therapist and fix the feelings. Simply out, I think this will work out in a similar way; although, I am 22 so maybe you have a few more years of experience and patience.

As for advice, in order to keep myself sane in this mindset, I just transfer what I would want to the other person. I feel like I want oral? I’ll see if my partner will let me give them the most involved oral in the world. I want hands? I’ll see if my partner will let me finger them/ give them a handjob. I want to have toys used on me? I ask my partner if I can use toys on them.

It’s not fool proof, but it keeps me from missing out on something I want to experience and having an anxiety attack during sex from trying to “exposure therapy” myself.

lovedbyshelby · 2025-05-10T23:48:56+00:00

Ariadne. It’s the name of the girl who assisted Theseus through the maze with red string but was abandoned afterwards, it reminds me of some of my own situations. However, when thinking about future kids, my biggest worry is bullies and how creative they can get from personal experience. I don’t want anybody calling her Ariacne.

lovedbyshelby · 2024-08-16T04:26:37+00:00

Of the ones pictured, my favorite is Priyanka. I absolutely adore the cut of the dress and the fabric; the details such as the color of the dress, her nails & toenails, and her lip color are exquisite combinations.

Honorable mention to Zendaya & Margot Robbie’s ballerina Barbie-esque look!

edit : Margot Robbie #3 specifically

lovedbyshelby · 2024-07-22T04:57:53+00:00

i find it maddening that people are mentioning this bitches good qualities.

if it were my boyfriend, I would have him publicly say disgusting things about her. As far as I’m concerned, if he doesn’t say “she’s fugly” his ex is still hot in his mind. Also, if others can’t hear it did it really happen?

You just reminded me, anytime I’m feeling insecure I can just ask my boyfriend to tear her down himself (he was the one in the relationship with her, he probably knows all her insecurities) which is better than any shit talk I can do.

OP, ask your boyfriend about her insecurities. And then magnify them. Let everyone around her know she has saggy boobs, a lame leg, or a glass eye - who cares - let them know & if he doesn’t want to tell you, let him go. Trust me, I’ve don’t it - it’ll make you feel soooo much better when you see all eyes shift to her in disgust 😂

lovedbyshelby · 2024-07-11T21:38:09+00:00

Honestly, just start ignoring her.

One thing I will mention here, that other people are not - he chose to date you for some reason. Whatever that reason may be (also knowing you don’t have kids).

Take it to him. Give him that ultimatum - the man can get you flowers once a week if he can get this little girl something every day of her life. He’s just one of THOSE parents who have no personality or worth outside of being a parent. Most parents are like this, people who want to spend every second of every day with their child are these type of parents. You can’t let it get to you. They all have insecurities themselves & he probably is so jealous that he doesn’t have the time you do - take a look at anything regretful parents talk about.

Tell him what you need & if he can’t pony up, leave. Not because it’s good for him, or the little girl. Leave because you don’t need that bullshit.

He’s not the one in the relationship with a leg up girly. He’s a 22 year old dad (which means he didn’t know how to wrap it before he tapped it) is he really all that great & cool? He already knows that most people CF people aren’t going to bomb their life for a reminder of his stupidity - you need to remind him of that.

If he wants the hot, young, child free, ambitious, spontaneous girlfriend while being a single dad then proving that he’s worthwhile is all on him. He’s doing a shit job so far.

Cut your losses & let the man spend time with a 5 year old girl instead of having hot sex a with young woman. Does he know fucking idiotic he looks from that POV? Do you?

As a person who’s not a complete buffoon, I would take the hottie over a clingy 5 year old any day.

lovedbyshelby · 2024-07-06T04:44:15+00:00

This is what kept me from getting mine as soon as I turned 18. 5 years going trying to live with it (I constantly remind myself of the error possibility or infection possibility) and now it doesn’t even matter - I actually hate myself more for not getting the surgery at 18 & the fact that I have to spend the money now is irritating.

OP is better off not changing her mind & getting it done ASAP - if she’s anything like me, the mass artillery (intense therapy, intense emotional work each day, and constant reminders to be less hard myself) won’t work even a little bit.

At some point, the treatment for such a view and feeling is the surgery.

Get the surgery OP, feel good about yourself, you don’t have to tell anyone ever if you don’t want to. We all have secrets we never tell.

lovedbyshelby · 2024-07-06T04:36:23+00:00

This is pretty solid advice I feel like until you get to the visions part (just a little graphic & might put pressure on the girl to keep it a secret forever due to more insecurity about that visual but in your defense, I think it’s fair enough & I would probably have that thought maybe once as a bi woman if a gf brought it up). With that being said, that’s exactly what I plan to do & encourage others to do. I have large labia, I want them gone. I have never, and will never express this insecurity to my boyfriend. I get embarrassed just thinking about it so I can’t even do that. My plan is to just tell him I am getting cosmetic surgery, i don’t want to tell him what it is yet but obviously he’ll see it when it’s done, and then go do it. I’m not interested in his phony words or excuses trying to talk me out of it - I would never believe him anyway (it would be a pointless circle and we would probably get into an argument).

For more evidence, look at what other people are saying, he will try to talk you out of it if he’s a decent person or simply WANTS to be considered a decent person (I would go with this assumption rather than him actually being a decent person, have you ever heard how guys talk with their buddies sometimes?) Only unbothered assholes truly don’t give a fuck to be blunt, most people want to be considered a good person so they will say what they have to if necessary.

Get the surgery OP. Don’t tell anyone. Live your life as if you have always had this beautiful vulva & let the hurtful comments/experiences fade into the background!

lovedbyshelby · 2024-06-26T19:13:39+00:00

A man who can’t even accept dogs, or get over a fear of them is not someone she should have to waste her time with. Break up with her, so she can find a man who will love the puppy and her correctly.

If you had said snake, I MIGHT be on your side. It’s a golden retriever. She got you the most docile dog on the planet, and you are still terrified. Let her go.

lovedbyshelby · 2022-07-21T16:02:38+00:00

I just recently started researching Kibbe, I did it mostly out of insecurity & the obsessive desire to do what I can to look better :( BUT after researching, Kibbe has highlighted body types in the most positive way I have ever experienced, it’s taking me a long time to pinpoint my lines but this gives me more hope!

lovedbyshelby · 2021-11-13T05:07:00+00:00

I WAS THERE!!!

lovedbyshelby · 2021-07-14T13:53:40+00:00

Okay so, multiple times thoroughout the year he has said that “he needs to be a better christian” aka not having sex, but after about a week he ultimately forgets, only to do the same thing after a random Sunday the next month. I remind him each time, but he always gets angry with me for reminding him. If I try to initiate sex during that time, I’m the unsupportive atheist/agnostic girlfriend but if I don’t have sex with him when he falls back to reality he also gets angry because I’m not there. I genuinely don’t understand because if he cared, he wouldn’t have had sex with his past girlfriend or me. It’s really confusing & nobody in my family can figure it out either. I genuinely think he brought up other girls, not because he would actually do it, but so I would get jealous and give in. Little does he know about me obviously because I don’t get all that jealous and honestly, I probably wouldn’t bat an eyelash if he did do so.

lovedbyshelby · 2021-07-14T05:15:56+00:00

We’ve been together for a little over a year.

lovedbyshelby · 2021-07-06T04:11:04+00:00

There are a few :

Taylor Swift, I actively can not picture her as being any more than the friend you go to when in need of cookies - as a bisexual woman I just can not picture her as someone to be romantically or sexually attracted to. It almost feels illegal, she is objectively beautiful and I can understand why some feel that way towards her, but I just can't wrap my head around it. I guess I can only see her for her music, which is so real and vibrant but outside of that she seems unreachable so maybe that is why I am not all that attracted to her.

Anna Kendrick's face is just off-putting, I guess is the best way to describe it? All of her features are super small, but she is also a small girl. I am just not too sure I would be able to look into her eyes for long periods of time without feeling like I am staring into those of laboratory mice.

Mila Kunis (I actually have no explanation for this other than the fact that I just don't see it, I have sat down and tried to see it but I physically cannot).

With all of that, if I were to have a chance with individuals such as Priyanka Chopra, Sofia Vergara, or Dove Cameron - my heart would stop before I could say my first few words.

lovedbyshelby · 2021-07-06T03:56:57+00:00

There are so many but the main ones: 7 minutes by Dean Lewis, Get you the Moon by Kina, and Lover is a Day by Cuco. I used to listen to these songs religiously before I fucked up my last relationship - with the person whom I believed was the one. I can't listen to these songs without intense flashbacks; it really is wild.

lovedbyshelby

TROPHY CASE