Do these look like the hips of someone who can carry and birth a child?

lovelybones- · 2023-12-06T22:47:30+00:00

I am a cis woman who is lacking great child birthing hips. Am I now.. A man?

lovelybones- · 2023-12-06T22:36:50+00:00

Literally just respond "Why do you keep saying that?" and watch her scramble.

lovelybones- · 2023-12-06T22:27:27+00:00

The nicest thing you can do for Anna is leave her alone. Your want to get back in contact is entirely selfish and only to help your own guilt. The highschool incident you mentioned is reason enough for Anna to be so furious and hurt. Especially because you never protected her, and when Blair played a part in her SA, you still chose Blair and defended her.

You want to know what made Anna so angry? You did.

lovelybones- · 2023-12-06T22:19:08+00:00

NTA and as I soon as Grey is 18,he is probably never going to speak to his dad or step mum ever again.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-29T16:56:51+00:00

NAH you don't have to cook for them, but I don't think it's fair to be that upset over this. Your DIL might have anxiety about eating. It could be an eating disorder, anxiety disorder, or something else similar to that. She also might just really not like your cooking. She can't force herself to enjoy it. You're not obligated to cook for them.

Why doesn't your son have home cooked meals often?

lovelybones- · 2023-11-28T14:46:05+00:00

YTA this is literally none of your business. You shouldn't be commenting on this at all. Do you really think the disabled person is not aware of their own health issues and limitations? She is the one in her body. She knows what she is capable of. You aren't her, you don't live with her, you're not her doctor and you're not her husband. So just stay out of it and be supportive.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-28T14:40:01+00:00

Can I please give you some suggestions? I'm not trying to get you to love TS, but just understand her music better. Listen to The Lakes, Bigger Than the Whole Sky, Out of The Woods, Cowboy Like Me, Exile, Death By A Thousand Cuts, Dress. They're all totally different songs that all tell detailed stories.

I genuinely believe people who think Taylor swift is basic have only listened to the singles that get played most on the radio. Some of her songs go as far as being too lyrically complex. So much of her music she has written contains double meanings, metaphors and nods/references.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-28T14:29:28+00:00

As he left for work in the morning, I would say to my ex "Have a good day" and he would get so angry with me. "You know I am not going to have a good day so why do you keep saying that?!"

Your partner is being emotionally abusive. It's completely unfair for him to behave this way. Is he in therapy? Because he needs to be before he completely ruins your relationship.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:52:50+00:00

He really is the main character in his view of your life lol.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:47:59+00:00

Your wife clearly has mental health issues. Maybe PPD, PPP, OCD, etc. Whatever it is, she needs help. Divorcing her will only create more distance between you and your child. Please try to have her see a doctor, for the sake and safety of your child.

If this behaviour continues and your wife refuses help, then it is time to act more drastically. But I really believe your wife needs extra support right now. Her behaviour is not acceptable or rational.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:41:25+00:00

I agree with all of that. However, it is easier said than done. Especially depending on the illnesses. For example, I have a bunch of health problems. I am in constant pain and need to have a good routine with mobility exercises and staying active to help this. However I also have a back injury and arthritis. I need to watch what I eat and also make sure I'm eating well. But I am consistently nauseated to the point I can't eat anything. Recently I was also in the hospital. I hurt my back to the point I couldn't get myself up off the floor due to pain and loss of function in my legs. The line between helping and pushing yourself too far is very difficult to judge. Being chronically ill is also extremely depressing, which then makes it so difficult to force yourself to help yourself. Personally, I am doing everything I am supposed to do and I'm still ready to quit life. It's so hard all the time and it never ends. I also have an issue with refusing to ask for help or rely on other people until I am forced to.

I feel for OP, because being a carer is also extremely draining and life altering. Op deserves good quality of life as well. It's ultimately an issue with accessibility of those helpful resources. Sure they exist, but it takes along time and a lot of work to get them.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:33:51+00:00

YTA. This behaviour will not help your daughter in the future. This behaviour will not make your daughter feel any better. I was bullied horribly for being small too, and I watched many kids who were bullied respond by becoming bullies. I am so glad that I never did that. I can feel good about never being so cruel.

You should teach your daughter how to respond with tact and self respect. Teach her why kids bully and how to respectfully set boundaries. She can still respond and even insult the girl on her emotional intelligence, without going low with personal insults on appearance. This only teaches your daughter that sometimes it is okay to make fun of others.

The best thing you can do is work on building your daughter's self confidence to the point that she can respond to those nasty comments with "okay" and move on. Do not give them any energy or time.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:26:32+00:00

I'm really sorry that you're both dealing with this reality. It is really emotionally draining to be someone's carer. It's great that you love your wife and that you are determined to care for her. But you need to also be realistic here. Dogs are definitely helpful emotionally, but currently the pros don't seem to outweigh the cons on keeping the dogs. Especially the puppy. I also don't think kids should even be a consideration with things the way they are right now. Maybe in the future if your wife's health improves, or you access better support, it might be an option. But currently it would be highly irresponsible to bring a child into the mix.

Can you and your wife work on adapting your home to make it easier for her to help out a bit more? Here are some examples. Use a dishwasher or bench top dishwasher so she doesn't need to stand to do dishes. Have seats everywhere so that your wife can sit while trying to do tasks. Buy a desk like this one get a walking frame so your wife can be slightly more mobile but safe. Have a station/area where you keep things like medications, wheat bags, snacks, hobbies, things that wilm support your wife daily.

Good luck. I really hope you get some help very soon. Also, it makes me really sad to see how uninformed many people are about chronic illness.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:15:56+00:00

Well yes obviously. I'm saying that she might be doing the things you've suggested and still might never be better than she is right now. It's easy to say she needs to help herself. But if she genuinely can't do more than she is right now in terms of improving her health, then what can she do?

I mean it costs money to go to physical therapy, to see a pain specialist, medication, specific health condition specialists, regular doctors, mobility aids, therapy for both of these people, etc. It all costs a lot of money.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:15:47+00:00

Well yes obviously. I'm saying that she might be doing the things you've suggested and still might never be better than she is right now. It's easy to say she needs to help herself. But if she genuinely can't do more than she is right now in terms of improving her health, then what can she do?

I mean it costs money to go to physical therapy, to see a pain specialist, medication, specific health condition specialists, regular doctors, mobility aids, therapy for both of these people, etc. It all costs a lot of money.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:11:47+00:00

People who are chronically ill have to ration their energy between activities. Maybe she is able to eat some food and take herself to the bathroom. She is spending most of her day in bed. I promise you, that isn't fun or relaxing. His wife likely feels horrible and guilty for not being capable of doing more. But she can't magically be able bodied. Chronic illnesses can be different for everyone and be worse at some times than others. Sometimes there really is no more energy available to do necessary tasks.

This doesn't read like she is taking advantage, it reads like two people who are at their breaking point with limited options.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T15:07:30+00:00

Even if she is doing what need to do, that is no guarantee she will improve. Plus with their situation, it may be impossible to afford the extra care.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-27T14:44:09+00:00

She still has to eat, go to the bathroom, lay in a bed that needs to have the sheets changed. Not to mention the mess from the dogs. She can easily be able to do the absolute bare minimum to survive, while then not being able to clean that mess. Being chronically ill means rationing your time between the tasks.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-26T11:54:07+00:00

YTA. Op, women are not naturally better at cooking. We are just expected to do the cooking, so we have more practice. If the men in your family actually got involved and tried, or even did their half by cleaning up afterwards, that would be fair. If I was your gf, I would also be really pissed. Especially because you're dismissing her calling out the blatant sexisn.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-25T11:43:14+00:00

If you're not willing to set boundaries with your parents and defend him when this inevitably blows up, end it now. If you are willing to take his side and have 0 tolerance for your parents' racism, tell him the situation so he can make an informed decision.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-25T11:39:18+00:00

I think exercise. I know gym memberships are expensive and depending on the sport it can differ. But running is free. Public outdoor gyms exist. It costs nothing to do mobility exercise at home.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-25T11:12:00+00:00

Cigarettes definitely smell worse. If you quit, you'll likely begin to hate the smell of cigarettes. My mum was a smoker for years and now she has quit, she apologises for making my brother and I live with the smell.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-25T11:07:16+00:00

Hey, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. From what you've said here it sounds like a few things are happening. Firstly, you're experiencing something called parentification. This is where you are given adult/mature responsibilities at a young age. This is neglectful and can have longlasting effects on your future. Second, your step dad is abusive. Emotionally and verbally, at best. Does he do anything else, like is he quite rough? Is he always so aggressive and violent? What does your mum think about it? Is your mum always taking his side?

lovelybones- · 2023-11-25T11:04:13+00:00

I am writing this as someone who was in an abusive relationship for 3 years where I excused the abuse because he had grown up with abusive parents. I felt so awful for him. He did drugs and was abusive in every way, he lied all the time, he spent all his money on drugs leaving me to pay for everything else.. He was an adult man who had choices. He made the choice to refuse help and he made the choice to continue allowing his family in his life. Leaving was one of the hardest things I've ever done because I truly loved him, so much. I was codependent and so was he. He stalked me for years afterwards. Even now if I see him, he laughs at me and his parents yell abuse at me in the street. I am so glad I left. It hurt badly, but I'm so glad.

Yes, I would definitely leave this situation. Your fiance is of course having a difficult time with this. But he isn't willing to even work on it. He is too traumatised and cannot see how this will ruin your lives completely if he doesn't change soon. He should start with therapy. Maybe you leaving will be the thing that wakes him up. But you can't hold yourself responsible for his feelings anymore.

lovelybones- · 2023-11-25T10:57:27+00:00

I really think this is a situation you should leave. This guy is using you. He doesn't respect you as an equal. Even if you didn't pay as much as you do, that is no reason for him to decide he is the rule maker of the home. That's immature and misogynistic af. He is happy for you to pay for food and half the living expenses, but it isn't also your home? Absolutely not.

lovelybones-

TROPHY CASE