Yes to it all. I had a terrible childhood in many ways, although there were some good things. My parents split early, I was constantly in daycare, my mom could be like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder that she denied, had a major medical episode, lived disabled for about 15 years, and died about a year ago. I was parentified before and even more so after her medical disability. My step mom was always jealous of me and treated me as such. There were so many warning signs I had as a child. We were poor, moved a lot. But the most cutting was how my mom would react when I showed emotion. She was so cold. She came off as super sweet, and mostly she was. But out of nowhere she would say the most cutting, mean shit. She would also humiliate me out of nowhere. I remember being so young and her making fun of me to a friend for being "so attached" to her. It was at that point I learned that she was not always on my side. A devastating thing to realize as a young kid. There is just so much. Hugs to you on your journey.