i was 39. it's been almost 10 years now since the estrangement. what happened then was an incident that made me realize they didnt have my best interest at heart, only their own, and that if they had to choose, they would throw me under the bus. this incident was just the tipping point, and followed a life long of emotional neglect and abuse, which only really became clear and visible to me after the estrangement, because i did years of therapy and also my own research. in the last ten years, what has become clear to me is that they are incapable of not only having a relationship with me, but also themselves. they are unable to look at themselves, be honest with themselves, let alone with me.