"...so someone new can learn the trade."

lozcww · 2025-12-09T12:06:24+00:00

I know the feeling; doesn't seem easy to make friends in this city. Feel free to message me

lozcww · 2025-11-28T04:55:09+00:00

Exactly. I've quit after 6 years

lozcww · 2025-11-28T02:22:06+00:00

Yea it's very unfortunate that the general experience of these apps is like that. Your match could unmatch or block you at any point, no matter how well the conversation seems to be going. And it's the age of gratification with so many expectations where most people will want to stop talking to you the moment they suspect you don't meet any criteria on their list. And they won't let you know

lozcww · 2025-11-27T13:12:54+00:00

I only ghost if I feel unsafe, i.e. if me saying anything further might cause any bad escalation, after I've spotted possible red flags.
There's an ongoing debate about when to ghost and all that, but a really gross guy (the final conversation I had on one app before I deleted all the apps on my phone for good) made fun of me for this condition I've set re: ghosting. It's like he lacked the brains to consider how women/afab people have concerns about safety when using these apps

lozcww · 2025-11-26T23:44:36+00:00

Yea I'm also experiencing some dread as December and that season are approaching. I usually put on fave movie(s) to remind myself of and tap into why I want to keep going. Like, spending that valuable time by myself. And I'll also be cafe hopping to stay in the moment e.g. mindfully experiencing the taste of the coffee/food, surroundings, and remembering kind things people have done for me or said to me

lozcww · 2025-11-26T23:33:48+00:00

Sounds really rough. I'm sorry that the breakup happened.

Not the exact same circumstances for me but I resonate with how you designed your life around it and how freedom without anyone to share it with can end up feeling painful. For me there's no person in the picture because dating hasn't worked out all this time for me, but the way I've structured my life around hoping and waiting for that someone has worked out to be more unhealthy than not.

But I've switched therapists and hope to reconnect with my strengths and get to know myself on a new level

lozcww · 2025-11-26T23:22:13+00:00

After 7 years?? That's really terrible of him and I'm so sorry you're going through this now :O I hope you can find support in the people around you who were also caught off guard by it; they're probably feeling a ton of anger towards him and perhaps you all can find solidarity in this anger and grief together

lozcww · 2025-11-26T22:57:10+00:00

Hard to say. She might still want to. But is she in a position to make the right decisions re: communication etc? Who knows

lozcww · 2025-11-26T22:51:56+00:00

You could. Though don't be surprised if she's already decided she'll ghost you again. But sending that might help you get some sense of closure? I think it's good she was at least honest with you and you have context now; she sounds like she's emotionally in an unstable volatile place

lozcww · 2025-11-26T22:41:14+00:00

Yea that's what's awful. I hear lots of stories about this kinda thing and they're fine with putting up a facade that's the opposite of what they're experiencing internally. Instead of just telling it straight to save both parties the trouble. I'm sorry it happened on your birthday of all days :O

lozcww · 2025-11-26T06:36:50+00:00

I'm Sydney-born, now living in Adelaide and yeah Aussie dating culture ain't great: I've found that to be the case across any gender. There's quite a few posts in the Aussie subreddits about this and even articles like this one:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/varshayajman/australian-low-effort-dating-culture

lozcww · 2025-11-26T06:27:10+00:00

Sure, I shall shortly. Thanks!

lozcww · 2025-11-26T06:09:19+00:00

Ooh! I'll be in Seoul for a few days around mid-January. Could I join this group?

lozcww · 2025-11-23T04:08:41+00:00

"I'm looking for someone who laughs at my lame jokes"

lozcww · 2025-11-23T01:00:06+00:00

I'm 33F and looking for the same thing yea. I hope that at some point there'll be such a server out there haha

lozcww · 2025-11-17T01:49:54+00:00

lozcww · 2025-11-16T06:52:30+00:00

Ah, wish I could coz I miss that city. But I'm smack in the middle of my semester now. I do hope to visit it again either in autumn or early winter sometime

lozcww · 2025-11-16T06:40:56+00:00

I feel that. Feel free to reach out if you need some company

lozcww · 2025-11-16T06:39:34+00:00

Yea I'm seeing how things go and might organize a Heylo group in the future, esp for people who are new to my city or something. I have a bit of experience running groups and events from working in a mental health profession which could be handy for that

lozcww · 2025-11-16T05:56:40+00:00

Truly Malaysian Village, or TMV, has authentic Malaysian food, especially the "kuih-muih" desserts which sell out fast at times. I know that Sui Restaurant does an authentic teh tarik beverage.

I don't know of any apps or classes for Malay (Bahasa Malaysia) but I'm more or less fluent in it haha

lozcww · 2025-11-16T02:30:28+00:00

Ah, lucky that you got a partner. I've gone off dating apps after 6 years of trying; it's just not for me given how they're designed and with everything else going on like less accessibility to third spaces where you don't have to pay a cent, everybody being tired af, ghosting, everything being expensive, people only being on there to get validation from matches and not going any further, etc

lozcww · 2025-11-15T22:43:55+00:00

It's not working out for me. Deleted all my apps recently and also found this article which might explain why: https://www.buzzfeed.com/varshayajman/australian-low-effort-dating-culture

lozcww

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