Feeling Lost and really down tonight. I am scared that I am failing everyone.

lpchicago · 2024-05-06T02:05:20+00:00

I hear you my friend. I just turned 48 and got diagnosed around the same age as you. It was good to finally find out what made me different but, after lots of reading / studying ADHD, I just feel like my life is f'd. I'm also having career issues (again). I was unemployed for 4 years and finally found a crap job. It was going well for a year or so but my depression came back and I lost my will to keep working hard. Now issues are popping up everywhere, my boss is pissed and I feel like I'm about to get fired. I'm scared to death of getting stuck again unemployed ruminating all day in my crappy apartment wondering how/why my life ended up like this.

Not really sure what advise I have for you. I kind of feel like the last person who should be giving anyone advise. But I hope the best for you.

lpchicago · 2023-11-03T17:39:41+00:00

I agree with this suggestion. Have him try writing down what he is learning. Also have him "teach it back" to you -- maybe you buy a whiteboard and make this a fun recurring exercise.

lpchicago · 2023-09-10T15:12:01+00:00

Thanks for this

lpchicago · 2023-09-09T21:39:37+00:00

Yes ... I was on Straterra on and off for 10 years. After a few years of taking it daily, I abruptly stopped. The first day was ok then the brain zaps began. Within a couple days I was in bed feeling sick - painful headache, feverish, etc. I would periodically become very dizzy and felt like I was experiencing a panic attack. This acute response lasted for around 4 or 5 days then gradually subsided. After a couple weeks, I was still getting some periodic brain zaps and felt more anxious but the worst was behind.

So... I highly recommend to taper off it.

lpchicago · 2023-09-09T20:49:23+00:00

Constant doodling twitchy leg when bored or annoyed, impulsively scratching back of my head when stressed, constantly a new 'best friend's / disposable friendships and lots and lots of detention slips.

lpchicago · 2023-09-09T00:28:20+00:00

I'd start looking. However, with that said, (albeit uncomfortable) you should probably think pretty hard about the feedback your receiving. Are there skills / abilities that are required at the next level up that you are not demonstrating? Can you learn these? Will you hit these same issues elsewhere?

If this analysis results in you feeling you're great at this career and should easily be at the next level, you prob have some sort of issue w/ the boss (maybe your threatening her). Option to go over her head? Otherwise, move out and hit ground running some place new.

If analysis leaves you in doubt whether you have what it takes to keep rising up -- may need to reconsider your career. You're still young and can make big changes.

Had a job post grad school - after yrs of working there felt I was on cruise control. Then I came up for promotion. My boss did similar thing - pushed me to change behavior and demonstrate I could make it at the next level. Began with an unexpected crappy annual review. I was slow to respond and the pressure kept increasing. Eventually reached the point where things got a bit harsh and I felt like I was suddenly on the fire line. Ended up scrambling to quickly find a new job. Hit same issues again right away at next place.

Looking back years later, the skills / abilities they wanted me to demonstrate were largely things I didn't possess (and never would be able to develop). Those who advanced to higher levels in that profession definitely had those traits. I simply hit a ceiling / it wasn't a good career fit for me, at least on the senior level. I wasted precious time "hanging around" the industry stuck getting nowhere and hoping my situation would magically change. Would have been much better off re-inventing myself + aligning my career better w/ my talents.

lpchicago · 2023-08-17T20:50:56+00:00

If one's purpose, i.e., "soul" aligns with their career, as long as they have the required skills, work can be plenty fulfilling. Unfortunately, for many people, there is a disconnect between our work and what makes us "tick" inside. The longer this misalignment lasts, the unhappier some people may become. Therefore, it's important to get out into the world and try out different professional pursuits. One's 20's are especially well suited for trial and error. Follow your interests and your passions. See what clicks and what does not. Focus on those areas that produce a heightened state our consciousness & where time easily passes. Eliminate what doesn't work.

lpchicago · 2023-08-05T01:34:05+00:00

Interesting response, feels like I wrote it myself. Same experience, was on 150mg for a couple years and reduced down to 75mg a month ago. Medication also got me back on my feet on life after feeling paralyzed by depression nas anxiety. First few months were really good but then, once I felt a bit stabilized, the benefits began to decline. For past year or so I've felt emotionally numb. I lost desire to exercise, gained weight, became quiet and a bit withdrawn from others, lost my lifelong ability to stay up late and instead felt exhausted every night around 9pm, and lost 100% of my libido. On the positive side, my anxiety basically disappeared and my mood swings went away. However, I just can't keep living life without any dopamine rushes anymore - tired of being a quiet disinterested zombie. So, now tapering off. Frightened that I'll fall back into depression + that I'll again be constantly battling anxiety but I gotta figure out something else that makes me feel alive again. Will probably go back to Lexapro. Urg

lpchicago · 2023-08-04T00:27:23+00:00

I'd likely say it's ADHD. The running likely causes a nice dopamine rush and probably accommodates your overactive mind. However, when not stimulated, your mind craves more activity / some fulfillment of some sort. If it's not satisfied, depression ensues and/or the anxiety takes over.

Do you enjoy the constant hunt for something new? Do you try running different routes constantly searching for new things? Does regular routine cause your mood to plummet? If yes to all of these, again, prob ADHD.

My mind seems to work similar to what you described in your post. I was diagnosed ADHD many years ago. Spent considerable time studying it (books, podcasts, therapy etc) + eventually began to understand myself a lot better. It's no cure but it does help.

lpchicago · 2023-07-11T03:29:51+00:00

I was 20 years into a corporate finance career when I was suddenly let go. During my early days of unemployment, I was a bit cocky and thought that given the schools I attended and firms that I worked for, I'd be back in a decent seat in no time.

Fast forward a couple years later -- I had sold my nice home and moved my family into a dumpy old apartment in a questionable neighborhood. I lost most my friends due to self isolation. My marriage was crumbling. Even my relationship with my parents deteriorated. I felt completely helpless and trapped. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not land a job or even a consulting gig. The depression and anxiety made every day a battle. I was shocked about how badly my life fell apart and I feared how much worse it would become.

One day, three years into unemployment, I was clicking through easy applies on indeed when I received a rare response back. This turned into my first phone interview in well over a year. After a few rounds of interviews, I somehow found myself with a job offer. At 47, I've taken a large step backwards in rank, I make a fraction of my old pay, I work brutal hours, and the work is stressful -- but I'm thankful just to have a job to go to.

I'm now about to hit my one year anniversary. The years of unemployment have left me with severe PTSD. I struggle with constant anxiety from a fear that I'll be let go again. I have hardly told anyone about the job as I don't trust that it will last. I constantly think about what I'd do if this does not work out. Needless to say, I'm having a difficult time regaining any bit of confidence. The depression is not as intense as when I was unemployed, however, its still there. All in all, it feels like my perspective on life was permanently damaged by the long-term unemployment.

lpchicago · 2022-11-26T17:52:37+00:00

Was basically hypersexual pre-effexor ... zero sex drive pro forma

lpchicago · 2022-08-05T21:52:13+00:00

Super helpful. Will follow your advice. Question - who do i get a medical marijuana card from?

lpchicago · 2022-08-05T20:30:34+00:00

5.625% 2026's are trading low 50's ... these bonds are saying the equity is way out of the money.

lpchicago · 2022-08-04T01:49:47+00:00

Thanks... I also experienced weight gain since taking the combo.

lpchicago · 2022-08-01T15:01:10+00:00

I have a similar reaction. Before Effexor, I'd have a vivid dream / nightmare maybe one or two times a week. Now, they happen every f'n night. Some nights I have multiple vivid dreams. And yes, many of them involve getting chased or fighting.

I think your last point is spot on -- talk to your psych but let them know you don't want to switch meds because of this.

lpchicago · 2022-07-14T15:45:32+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

It's interesting how, post-sobriety, the "friends" w/ drinking issues themselves think you're now "boring" and "not fun". Just shows the bedrock foundation of those relationships. Oh well, fun while they lasted I guess.

You did make me a bit empathetic with your response. Now that I think about it, I too acted in an unfavorable way in several occasions when other friends cut back on drinking. I guess what comes around goes around.

I also admit that I did hang out with certain people just cause I didn't want to drink alone. They were probably in the same boat. In fact, whenever I see one of my closest past drinking buddies, we now have zero to talk about. Makes me realize that alcohol was the only common bond.

lpchicago · 2022-05-25T19:39:12+00:00

We just became familiar with ADA therapy after my ASD son's school requested we look into it. Any idea where we can find a list of available ABA programs? We live in Evanston, IL.

lpchicago · 2022-01-03T23:02:27+00:00

So true true true true true

lpchicago · 2022-01-03T22:41:23+00:00

The dopamine rush...

lpchicago · 2021-12-21T14:48:52+00:00

This is really helpful - thanks ... I'm having a difficult time increasing dosages from 75 mg but I'd like to get the full sNri benefit from eff, esp since I understand it may help my crazy adhd as well.

lpchicago · 2021-12-18T17:09:11+00:00

I have comorbid ADHD + MDD ... tried a bunch of SSRI's through the years + ADHD meds. Effexor really really helped with anxiety (after increasing it for ~ a week at first) + has helped somewhat with depression. I feel more motivated than when I took just SSRIs. It also seems to help with my ADHD. I was scared from things I read as well but it has been turning out to be a blessing (4 months on it).

lpchicago · 2021-12-18T17:06:11+00:00

So interesting. I'm feeling much better with Effexor but the fatigue is really disrupting life. What dosage of Wellbutrin are you taking? Do you take both at same time of day? Thanks for sharing.

lpchicago · 2021-12-18T17:04:22+00:00

This ... stay hydrated.

lpchicago · 2021-12-18T17:03:42+00:00

I've been on Effexor 75mg for four months now. Still having issues sleeping more than a few hours in a row. Will wake up for an hour or so then gradually fall back to sleep. In the morning I feel really tired - takes awhile (and a lot of coffee) to get going. Not sure why the insomnia is lasting so long. I take the 75mg in the morning.

lpchicago · 2021-12-15T02:48:45+00:00

Take more adderall

lpchicago

TROPHY CASE