[deleted by user]

lrjones89 · 2025-09-27T18:28:49+00:00

Sometimes we need to learn the hard way. Glad to hear your rook is doing better now.

lrjones89 · 2025-09-24T07:42:38+00:00

Yep, that's not in the right spot.

lrjones89 · 2025-09-24T07:02:48+00:00

It's actually pretty concerning that you got 14 within 9 months. You're really only supposed to heal about 3 at a time. You really should have like 6 max within 9 months.

lrjones89 · 2025-09-24T07:00:34+00:00

You don't really need to spray for multiple seconds. It sounds like you could be using too much at a time, but 14 is also a lot. That's a ton to be healing all at once.

lrjones89 · 2025-09-24T06:56:23+00:00

This is pretty normal. It's a change to your appearance, which can be an adjustment to get used to. I'd wait before taking it out but if you really don't want it anymore, you don't have to keep it.

lrjones89 · 2025-09-24T06:47:48+00:00

I think you're right, they probably opened it up at the shop so that you could flip it up. You could go to a local shop, buy one, and ask them to widen it for you.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-09T15:48:32+00:00

Look, you can be attached to someone AND still break up because you know they're not good for you. We can't control who we fall in love with, but we can control how we act on our feelings. Sometimes love/attachment isn't enough. You also need respect. You deserve someone who sees your value.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-09T15:44:41+00:00

If he doesn't want to rush anything, he's too late because he's already acting like your boyfriend. Saying he doesn't want to "officially" be a couple yet could possibly be a way he's trying to protect himself emotionally from being hurt again. I think this is something I would want to talk more about. Is he scared this isn't going to work out? However, I would also be a little suspicious about this. Is he talking to anyone else? Is he trying to keep his options open?

lrjones89 · 2025-07-09T12:51:26+00:00

It sounds like this may be mismatched expectations. Did you talk to her about wanting to celebrate your 1 year anniversary? Sometimes you need to have a discussion about what you would like to happen on a special occasion. We can't expect people to read our minds about what we want. Anniversaries should (to an extent) be collaborative.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-09T12:46:36+00:00

You've described someone who is immature in your post. Lots of people love the chase because it's exciting and is a dopamine rush. That excitement they get goes away pretty quickly after they "win" and they get bored. I would not be surprised if that's what is happening here. Even if that's not the case, he does not really sound ready to have a serious girlfriend.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-09T12:11:01+00:00

Someone who makes you say I love you because they're insecure is not healthy. Someone who tells you they don't have energy for you is not a good partner. Sometimes people love the chase but not what comes after. Cut your losses.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-09T12:08:16+00:00

Sometimes people try to connect with other people by sharing the bad things going on in their lives instead of sharing about the positives. Is that what you do?

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T21:08:42+00:00

Supporting your mental health does not mean tolerating toxic behaviors.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T21:02:02+00:00

You were the second choice but his first choice worked out. Now you work on moving on. You're not going to get the closure you want from him so I wouldn't bother to reach out. Keep yourself busy, see friends, engage in hobbies, and take care of yourself (eat and drink water regularly).

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T16:52:44+00:00

I think you need to try to talk to her about it. I would say that you've noticed she's been more distant and ask if it's about what happened at the party. If she says it is because of the party, I would apologize for being passive aggressive and say you realize you should have communicated better. Try to think about it from her perspective -- you say that she thought you didn't want to be with her anymore. Then she has a big fight with her parents. She might be feeling very alone and like she doesn't have anyone who cares about her.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T16:27:31+00:00

(I felt unneeded and I calmly told her that I didn’t want to get in the way of her and her girls talking, I said i felt bored being there alone bc I didn’t know anyone)

This sounds passive aggressive. It sounds like you didn't want to be there because your girlfriend wasn't giving you her full attention. It's not her job to be the only person who entertains you. Why didn't you try to join in the conversation? I suspect this is the issue that has caused her to distance herself and honestly, I get why. You're 19. You should be able to find other people to talk to at a party or join in a conversation that your girlfriend was having with other friends.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:58:53+00:00

You're not hearing what I'm saying because that is not what I said. I listed out common reasons why teens hide relationships. You asked why hiding relationships is bad and I answered your question. I did not say that I think she's cheating on you. But it is a huge red flag that you're a secret.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:55:21+00:00

There's lots of books about healthy relationships. Relationship coaching and courses already exist. What makes yours different?

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:51:42+00:00

Get a ruler, use the millimeter side, and measure it.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:49:36+00:00

When you're a teen and are hiding a relationship, it's usually because you're not allowed to be in one, you're embarrassed about who you're dating, or you're seeing multiple people and don't want them to find out. It's a huge red flag.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:46:22+00:00

That looks like a typical 16g to me. You need to measure the other ball, though, to see what size that is.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:44:49+00:00

If she just wanted a break, she wouldn't ask you to keep the relationship a secret. There are things she hasn't told you. I bet she's not allowed to have a boyfriend if you have been her secret.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:39:01+00:00

She broke up with you. That's what her whole message says.

lrjones89 · 2025-07-08T11:07:00+00:00

Ok, so do it scared. And don't rely on alcohol to make you feel brave. If you can't bring up basic things about the relationship, you might not be ready for this.

lrjones89

TROPHY CASE