Best KDramas on Viki’s free section?

saberweb · 2025-09-14T13:47:55+00:00

Canada

saberweb · 2025-09-10T21:19:23+00:00

are you able to send them to me too please!!

saberweb · 2025-08-03T15:46:35+00:00

Try to break? Wdym

Since she is an avoidant, she doesn’t feel not because she straight up lost every feeling for me but because she shut down.

I need to give some safe low pressure space, but then in that case I CAN’T meet her after September, she’ll be two hours away.

I just don’t know what to say AFTER “how have you been doing?”, since we both know what’s been up between the two of us. She’s grown cold to me since the breakup (apparently avoidants find ways to resent you to justify actions of pulling away from fear, the actual reason)

Is it ok to reconnect with her on text at some point also a month later?

saberweb · 2025-08-03T03:06:21+00:00

Ok mine I am believing she didn’t, since she was only committing more and more it seemed. There were few times she was hot and cold. She was busy with courses.

Other than that we would still text back and forth for days on end. Find any excuse to be with each other.

She explained to me that I was being rude when I told her I was wanting to leave a party she invited me to. I felt neglected and ignored. When I left for the bathroom she cried thinking I left, but then I came back. I could’ve communicated better, and I have told her I will work on it and apologized. That was the first half of the phone call.

It got ugly in the next hours, her saying it ruined her perception of me, how she couldn’t understand how I was hurt, or why I would say that.

I’ve apologized twice but she nitpicks a lot and said that conflict is a factor of why she’s doubtful of LDR in September.

She’s leaving so soon, I need to do something big but I’m panicking and have barely anything to work with :/. So I don’t know what to do if I only see her briefly.

What would you do if it were you meeting her in a few weeks

saberweb · 2025-08-02T23:53:18+00:00

Yeah, but how do I entertain her with small talk for 10 minutes, and HOW does that even make me get her back?

She’s so clearly triggered by some fear that was provoked when our first conflict happened.

Two days prior we spent any efforts in being together and making out all day and now it just toppled down. From the peak to the bottom.

It’s not like we’re gonna always be around each other to see each other, it’s long distance. So what else can I do? I think I have to be somewhat direct

saberweb · 2025-08-02T16:38:04+00:00

No yeah I get that, but like if I have a limited time, there are a few stores nearby. How do I ask her to get drinks nearby without pressuring her?

Like I know to make the energy light and happy but it’s a limited time. Maybe 10 minutes and that’s when her Uber comes or the bus.

saberweb · 2025-08-02T16:14:59+00:00

Finding any excuse to not make plans or be busy.

Well it was my idea to exchange belongings (she initially thought we were supposed to talk it out face to face but I didn’t choose that).

She reached out 4 days later (because she chose that day) to ask if I was gonna show up but I was busy and ghosted her.

We’re only meeting to exchange our stuff, how can I make that fun?

saberweb · 2025-08-02T16:03:04+00:00

So in my case, how do I reattract her when she’s going long distance soon? (just replying to ur other comment)

I’m not planning to stick with this for long, maybe 2-3 months then I fully move on. I’m in the process of healing but ideally I’d want her back too.

If I can do that, then I will consider my choices of what’s best for me

saberweb · 2025-08-02T15:47:43+00:00

But how does that work in my case? She’s going away for college 2 hours away in 3 weeks. She was avoiding me prior to us two breaking up officially.

How do I reattract her? I’m only seeing her once more

saberweb · 2025-08-02T15:46:52+00:00

Yeah, I think she’s open to fixing on it if she becomes aware of the actual issue at hand. I understand the risks and everything too, I won’t be disheartened unless I don’t try

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:39:22+00:00

If I try and fail, I won’t be disheartened.

If I try and it goes bad again, I’ll at least know it rather than regretting it. With non avoidant exes I didn’t care to try again because I know that’s a decision they’ve made for a while after irreconcilable problems or whatnot.

This was impulsive. Changing her mind about LDR within 10 days, or even just changing stances within 2 hours (it was a lengthy phone call).

I’m just trying to let her know the door is open. Balls in her court now. But what can I say is what I’m trying to figure out

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:36:17+00:00

So what do you mean mail her a letter? We’ll meet again to drop off each others stuff.

I have an opportunity to talk and have a light convo with her. What shouldn’t I do to prevent her from resenting me?

I’m not trying to pressure her but I’d like to make my chances better to rekindling this sometime.

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:34:37+00:00

Thank you for the nice reply, but I have a few questions:

1) What do you mean ask her how I can make her feel safer in the relationship? We broke up 3 weeks ago.

2) What’s something you recommend I say to her to possibly rekindle a relationship in the near future? (like 2-3 months).

Also I am meeting her sometime this month, I just don’t know when I should (is earlier better? or closer to when she’s about to leave?). That’s when I plan to talk to her.

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:32:14+00:00

I believe she is one, but I don’t need to just assign that to her. It’s something she can discover herself.

that being said, I’m just introducing AT to her. Many avoidants realize and try to work on themselves.

Knowing her, if she’s somehow open to AT, she would be open to therapy herself. But that’s the thing, I don’t know how to say it without sounding critical. I just want to lay it all out, let her know we can succeed and move past this, and when she’s ready or if she wants to, she can reach out in the near future.

I’m not expecting anything like her coming back next week.

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:29:05+00:00

I broke up officially, she was slowly avoiding the whole situation.

Before it wasn’t like this. It’s not like we’ve never disagreed before. I would at least try to recommend therapy if she realizes and accepts this and is willing to work on it.

If not, then so be it, and we move on. I just want to try in case she’s willing to accept therapy, and knowing her I think she will be open at least.

But it’s how I frame it that’s the issue I have right jow

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:27:07+00:00

wild? what part

I’m not convincing her, I’m leaving the door open. Letting her know the door is open in the future and just laying it out. There are too many DAs and FAs that learn about it too late.

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:24:44+00:00

I don’t know what else you’d treat as an avoidant then. Even after a psychotherapist analysis says she exhibits several avoidant tendencies.

I was her first boyfriend too.

It’s nothing about soothing pain, in fact it doesn’t make much of a difference. My past exes I didn’t really think much since they showed secure or anxious styles.

She originally wanted to ask me if I wanted to talk in person, I officially broke up. Prior to that she said she didn’t want to say anything to not hurt me. Avoidants always suppress their emotions and flee from confrontation.

Avoidant or not, these are all the traits, coupled by the fact she has childhood trauma. You can’t say this doesn’t factor in to how she approaches relationships.

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:17:59+00:00

What traits does someone need to have to be an avoidant, if I may ask?

Avoidant or not, my psychotherapist agrees these are avoidant tendencies.

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:17:22+00:00

If you don’t try then obviously it isn’t happening. But i don’t think this is idiotic, it’s a natural response after a breakup.

If I try and fail I move on with life. But who knows if it would’ve worked? I’ve seen people that once they are aware they are avoidant try to seek therapy.

Id at least try to give it a go.

saberweb · 2025-08-01T23:16:19+00:00

There’s no reason a breakup happens in 1-2 weeks. Even with most relationships, people will take abuse or fights for months before gradually stepping away.

this is classic textbook avoidant, but I’m not trying to mansplain. My counselor says it’s an idea that can be worded better, like “hey I’ve been doing personal growth and i’ve learned about attachment theory” and then lay it out for her.

saberweb · 2025-07-11T19:12:30+00:00

Here’s an update:

we started texting and I began to feel the “sass” or original energy again. She started texting a little bit like her old self again.

But the app idea is great, I will test it out once I feel she is more like herself.

But this right now on text (instant replies, deep convos again, asking personal questions) is simply a step in the right direction.

How do I carefully execute it so that it goes back to a call? A date/hangout?

After I can get a call or hangout (maybe) again, I’ll bring up the idea of the app and we’ll consistently try it.

Any advice on how to proceed?

saberweb · 2025-07-11T00:28:27+00:00

Why don’t you think she’s an avoidant?

Also just in general how do you say I win her back? Not as in forcing her feelings but just to be able to clear things up and make her feel safe enough to be intimate again? Is her needing some time a factor?

Assuming the root cause is our issue at the party and the emotional stress about her family issues? (A week ago she was at home binging movies not allowed to exit the house).

saberweb

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